lawyer today, clueless on visititation

[DeerMother]

Yes, I have read the "what you wish you would have included in divorce agreement/parenting plan" thread.

I just have no idea what to offer x for visitation. I want dc to have a relationship their father. On the other hand, x is an abusive uav and I don't want them near him. We kinda had a temp agreement in place - he had 2 days one week, 3 days the next. However, in our two months of that, he declined visitation several times so he could go out of town to party.

Don't know if I'm looking for advice or just needed to vent. How did you reach a decision in what to ask for?

[Halfasianmomma]

How about going in with 1 evening a week + 1 half a week-end day?

When XH was still seeing DD, I based my visitation on what he actually DID, not what he said he wanted, because I knew he would never be able to take on what he said he wanted.

[doubledutch]

is there something standard where you live (like eow, friday evening to sunday evening, plus one weekday evening for 2-3 hours)? if you go with whatever is typically ordered / agreed upon, then you won't have to explain why you chose it or make a case for it. it would just be routine, and if stbx wants something else, then he is the one who would have to argue that. the judge would be more likely to side with you (if this is contested).

[DeerMother]

I went with one dinner (5-8) during the week and eow Fri evening - Sunday evening. If he doesn't go for it I'm hitting him with a hair folicile and nail drug test.

[meemee]

Originally Posted by DeerMother

I went with one dinner (5-8) during the week and eow Fri evening - Sunday evening. If he doesn't go for it I'm hitting him with a hair folicile and nail drug test.

you said he liked to go out of town to party?

would he even be willing to do the weekend visitation? why not do one weekend a month? instead of eow.

[DeerMother]

Originally Posted by meemee

you said he liked to go out of town to party?

would he even be willing to do the weekend visitation? why not do one weekend a month? instead of eow.

He wants some visitation so he can a) pay less cs and b) think he still has some control over me. I think he wants to keep eow but will be trying to reschedule/cancel as his activities come up. If that is the case, I'll take him back to court later.