I'm so tired of troubleshooting...nothing seems to be it.

[mrs.t]

My almost 4mo DS is waking up more and more frequently at night. Last night he woke up every 2 hours to nurse. This from the same baby who once slept 8 hours without waking! He really seemed to be on the right track, most nights I would get 5-6 hour stretches. Now it's down to 2, 3 at the most.

What am I doing wrong? Is it teething pain? Gas related to a food allergy? The fact that he doesn't nap for extended periods during the day? Is he hungry because he does little snack feedings all day since he is so distracted? Has he outgrown the swaddle? Is it too cold? Are there 100 more questions I can ask myself?

Where would you start? He's not waking up in pain or anything, he basically wakes up, starts fidgeting and kicking, tries to get his hands out of the swaddle and if he does, rubs his face (sometimes even scratching it) until he wakes himself up and starts making little complaint noises. So I move him to the bed (he's in a co-sleeper) nurse him, during which he usually takes a nice full feeding, and struggle to put him back in the cosleeper without waking him up again, sometimes waiting until he seems to be in a deep sleep. I have tried keeping him in bed with me, but he wakes up just as often and I get even less sleep that way.

All of this means that I am getting maybe 20-30 minutes stretches of sleep myself. I feel like I'm losing it.

Basically it just seems like he is not sleeping deeply, and getting him to sleep is a nightmare. Is this ever going to end? I can't help but think there is something I'm doing wrong.

[4midablemama]

I seem to remember something about most kids having a pretty big growth spurt right around this age, which leads to them needing to eat a lot more, which leads to mom sometimes having to revert to the newborn every-two-hour feeding schedule. I know it's tough, but unless he's having other issues, I would say just go with whatever schedule he's keeping right now and pray that this stage doesn't last long.

[OdinsMommy0409]

I don't know that I'll be of help except to say hay I completely understand. And, do NOT blame yourself but understand that DS may be getting the extra breastmilk or comfort that he needs as he's growing and developing so rapidly.

My DS slept through the night from 3 months to 4.5 months then it went downhill from there. At 15 months, he wakes every 45 minutes to 1.5 hours on average with an occasional 3-hour stint. He doesn't transition through the stages of sleep without added comfort of suckling at the breast. For me, I came to accept that it is actually normal and that it is what my DS needs.

Anyways, you're certainly not alone in your feelings and experience. I hope that it turns out to be a phase for your DS. Sleep regressions are so common during the first year, and many babes return to good sleeping patterns within a week or two.

[LadyCatherine185]

Very common sleep regression at 4 months old. I suggest keeping him in bed with you so that you can just roll over and insert boob and drift back off to sleep, rather than having to fully wakeup.. My DS woke every hour or more his entire first year, and that was the #1 thing that saved my sanity.

[mrs.t]

Unfortunately, I looked back at my notes (I write down the times I feed DS, which side I nursed from, etc) and this has been going on for about a month now. First he went down to 4 hours, then 3, now I guess it's 2. It leads me to believe that it's not just a growth spurt.

I would love to just put him next to me in bed and pop my boob in his mouth every 2 hours, but I don't get any sleep that way either. I'm completely paranoid about bed sharing, and we have a pillow top mattress which I feel is unsafe. Plus, DH sleeps like the dead, so if he were to roll over onto DS's arm, leg, etc. he probably wouldn't even know it.

[LadyCatherine185]

can you sidecar a crib or his cosleeper to your bed, so you don't have to pick him up and move him at all? does he take a paci? have you tried blackout curtains and white noise?

babies wake up a lot during the first year for different reasons at different times. Developmental milestones, teething, growth spurts, etc all affect sleep. And IME, there isn't really anything you can change about it until they are older (like 12 months+). What you can do is make yourself as comfortable as possible, sleep when baby sleeps, have your DH help out in the mornings and on the weekends so you can catch a couple extra hours a week, etc.

[clemrose]

Sorry to say it, but that's about the age both of my kids had serious deterioration in the sleep department! My dd was wasn't a great sleeper from the get go, but it definitely got worse around that age. My son was doing the 5-6 hr stretches at the beginning of the night until then and now it is down to waking every 2 hrs on a good night! For us I feel like once the teething starts in earnest (that age) things go down hill.

It is especially frustrating because a lot of the books say that at 4 months kids are capable of sleeping through. Hah!

We co-sleep but it doesn't make a difference in the amount of sleep I get, so I don't see that as a thing you necessarily need to try. I sleep next to a moving, grunting, swaddle fighting (or crawling if unswaddled) beast every night! Not very conducive to rest, I'll tell you.

I have no advice, sorry, but you're not alone. I figure once the two year molars are in (at 2.5 for my dd) I'll get some sleep. If I don't have another baby by then!

[triony]

Originally Posted by mrs.t

Unfortunately, I looked back at my notes (I write down the times I feed DS, which side I nursed from, etc) and this has been going on for about a month now. First he went down to 4 hours, then 3, now I guess it's 2. It leads me to believe that it's not just a growth spurt.
.

I'd read the No-Cry Sleep Solution, if for nothing else than for your information. We are having the same problem here, it started at 3 months. We just started the NCSS, so I can't say if it is working yet.

[mizzoh]

ds was a great sleeper until 3 or 4 months, and then things went downhill like you describe. i don't think i was ever able to pinpoint a reason for all the wakings although i do think a lot of it was related to teething since he became a much better sleeper once all his teeth were in and he was weaned.

it also sounds like he might be waking to feed since you say he takes in a full feedng when you nurse him. is it possible to nurse him on your side and right up against the co-sleeper so you dont really have to move him much? our set-up was such that the mattress of the co-sleeper was level with the mattress of the bed.

hugs - i will never forget how months of sleep deprivation felt. i still rememeber how tired i was and i think that played a part in us only having one child!

[mrs.t]

Thanks everyone, for the replies and support. I guess it's just a phase that has no cause. I'm hoping that he moves on to a new phase soon. I'm just so tired, which makes me impatient, which makes me feel guilty for not loving every minute with my little guy. I just feel like such a crappy mother sometimes, and this feeds it. UGH.

I'm definitely going to pick up the no cry sleep solution.

Anyone read Night time Parenting by Dr. Sears? Anything useful in there?

[newmamalizzy]

No great advice here either, but maybe some hope? My DD just turned 4 months old. She STTN from about 2-3 months old, then, like you describe, regressed to waking up every few hours. Sometimes she wanted to eat, sometimes she clearly was just waking up. Now, about two weeks later, she sleeps from 9:30 - 4, then again until 7. I got through those sleep-deprived days by...just trying to conserve the energy I had, especially by closing my eyes and clearing my mind to rest whenever she ate. It really helped just to take my days more slowly. Whenever I had an opportunity to let Bea happily linger, I would take it and use the time to go into a restful little torpor, like putting the car in neutral on downhills when you're low on gas I know how you feel about the guilt and impatience, though. I got veyr impatient with my LO one morning when she woke up before I was ready and I felt so, so awful.

[butterfly_mommy]

My DS nursed every 2 hours till about 22 mons. It was heaven when I learned to nurse while lying down! DS sleeps in a side cared crib because I was DH was such a sound sleeper and we worried about him lying on DS (he never did)

Anyway DS is 2.5 years now and has been sleeping entirely through the night without nursing (9pm-7am) for about 4 mons now. Tonight he didn't even want to nurse to sleep he just hugged and kissed DH and I and we tucked him in and he went to sleep on his own!