Why will my 3.5 yo not ask for a pull up?

[Neera]

Dd pees in the toilet but won't poop in it. I've asked her to ask me for a pull up every time she wants to poop. But she won't and poops in her panties. We've gone through this so many times. Because of this I had put her back in pull ups. She used to conveniently use them to pee in too even though she knew how to pee in the toilet. She's too smart to not realize she has a panty on because she does all her pees in the toilet. I don't push her to poop in the toilet although dh and grand parents have and I asked them to not preesurize her. I am just wondering if she knows there is no pressure and all she has to do is ask me for the disposable panty why won't she?

[surrogate]

Ok, probably not what you want to hear, but I had the same problem with both my sons. My oldest is Pdd-Nos (autism spectrum) and wasnt potty trained til 4, but was pee trained at 3. We would leave him in a pull up and he would request to go pee and just poop himself. When i finally had enough and just left him nakey a couple days so I could catch him pooping (because he wasn't gonna go in the floor) it clicked for him and he has been pooping on the potty since.

My youngest (2yo) potty trained for pee about 4 weeks ago. He would still poop his underwear, and I would get frustrated, and mad at him. Monday we just went nakey...he would do the poop dance and i would take him to the potty...he has been pooping ever since.

I hate to say "force" her, but really if you keep doing what you are doing it is gonna be a LONG time of buying pull ups.

[nextcommercial]

For the cost of a bag of pullups you could just buy a couple packs of panties. Especially with the back to school sales. A lot of the panties have a "two free" deal going on. (I think Hanes and Fruit of the Loom)

It's just as cheap to throw out the poopy panties as it is to buy a pack of pullups. I'd also stick her in the tub to change her panties, and she can put the soiled panties in a bag then wash up in the tub before putting on clean ones.

[OJazzy1]

I second the underwear and the nakey. My son went naked while he was at home and then we moved in to underwear. I had a chat with him that we were done with diapers because diapers were for babies and it took a while and some frustration and patience but he is 2 and potty trained except for night time.

[JessieBird]

I have very limited experience but my initial thought was like pp's - skip the pull ups and go naked (or with a skirt) for a few days. Stay home all day if you have to. Seems to me that you need to break the poop-panty association and focusing on the pull ups is adding an extra step and frustration that you could just skip. I think you can spend a few days naked without it being pressure - I wouldn't make a big deal about it, just idle chit chat to tell her what's going on but otherwise no mention of it and certainly no anger if she goes on the floor, just discussion. I'd probably add more fibre to her diet than usual just in case she's tempted to hold it in.

[Neera]

Thanks for the suggestions. She is on Miralax as she was severly constipated, we also have an appt. with a children's gastroenterologist this month. She doesn't poop in the toilets because of the constipation issue she had. But, she has been going regularly for weeks now and I think yes, she has to go without panties. That is the best option. I did that yesterday right after the poop in the panty. Today we had to go out for a bit. As soon as we returned we had one more in the panty. Btw, after I left her without a panty yesterday every time she was doing the dance I put her on the toilet and I got 3 small poops. I realize I had sort of found the solution, I even told dh I just have to leave her without panties and stop going out a few days but, I guess I had to read the posts for it to register completely. I am torn between her getting some exercise and helping her to learn poop. So, we made plans for the park today although we didn't go because she had a mild temperature. We went to the curb and did some bicycling and played with jump rope.

I am so looking forward to helping her figure it out once and for all. Thanks again.

[Amandala]

Just a aquestion for the posters above who let their kids go nakey-bum at home...

How? Do you have NO rugs or carpets? Or anything else on the floor that can't be pooped/peed on?

I let my little guy go nude on a few days this summer, and I wound up having to clean a rug, having to throw away a book, having to mercilessly scour some of his toys, and so forth. Yes, he pooped on a book!