...about friends who just don't GET IT.
A bit of background - I have had PCOS since the age of 16. I am on my second clomid cycle because I have ovulation issues. A good deal of my friends already have kids, since we are in our 30s, and a few of them needed fertility assistance so I got fairly familiar with the whole process even before we started trying. However, I also have a couple friends who have made the decision not to have any children, which I totally respect.
What's bothering me is that those friends can't respect my decision TO try to have children. They ASK me questions about our TTC adventure, and then laugh at me when I talk about it. If I hear them say, "You just need to relax and have lots of sex and you'll get pregnant - you just think about it too much" or "I don't know why you want to have a baby anyway" one more time, I'm going to punch something. And since when does choosing not to have a child absolve you from having to know anything about how your own body works? I've had to explain what CD1 is to more women than I ever thought possible. You don't know that the first day of your period is the first day of your cycle?? For real?? Or what ovulation is and what it means for fertility? Good thing they aren't having kids if they can't even be aware of their bodies enough to know THAT stuff.
I just wish people would stop treating me like I'm some sort of desperate woman who is "going crazy" for a baby. If I was so desperate, would I have waited until age 32 to start trying?? (Not saying that having babies before my age IS desperate...just in case anyone took it that way.) Is it desperate to take charge of your body and your fertility, and make informed decisions that have the potential to help you get pregnant faster than if you just "relaxed and had lots of sex" for a year, knowing that it wouldn't work?
And one last thing...I know that my family loves me and just doesn't want us to feel like we're being pressured to give a grandchild/niece/nephew to the family...but at least a tiny bit of excitement about the possibility would be super effing nice. Thanks.
Whew! I feel much better now.
A bit of background - I have had PCOS since the age of 16. I am on my second clomid cycle because I have ovulation issues. A good deal of my friends already have kids, since we are in our 30s, and a few of them needed fertility assistance so I got fairly familiar with the whole process even before we started trying. However, I also have a couple friends who have made the decision not to have any children, which I totally respect.
What's bothering me is that those friends can't respect my decision TO try to have children. They ASK me questions about our TTC adventure, and then laugh at me when I talk about it. If I hear them say, "You just need to relax and have lots of sex and you'll get pregnant - you just think about it too much" or "I don't know why you want to have a baby anyway" one more time, I'm going to punch something. And since when does choosing not to have a child absolve you from having to know anything about how your own body works? I've had to explain what CD1 is to more women than I ever thought possible. You don't know that the first day of your period is the first day of your cycle?? For real?? Or what ovulation is and what it means for fertility? Good thing they aren't having kids if they can't even be aware of their bodies enough to know THAT stuff.
I just wish people would stop treating me like I'm some sort of desperate woman who is "going crazy" for a baby. If I was so desperate, would I have waited until age 32 to start trying?? (Not saying that having babies before my age IS desperate...just in case anyone took it that way.) Is it desperate to take charge of your body and your fertility, and make informed decisions that have the potential to help you get pregnant faster than if you just "relaxed and had lots of sex" for a year, knowing that it wouldn't work?
And one last thing...I know that my family loves me and just doesn't want us to feel like we're being pressured to give a grandchild/niece/nephew to the family...but at least a tiny bit of excitement about the possibility would be super effing nice. Thanks.
Whew! I feel much better now.
You seem like you needed that. I'm sorry that you're dealing with a lot of insensitivity.
