I'm worried cosleeping is hurting his napping. HELP!

[NewMom610]

I have a precious 5 week old little boy. We cosleep at night {first in the cosleeper then when he wakes around 3:00, he comes and sleeps with me until we get up for the day}.

However, he is a nightmare for naps. He is not a napper. At all. I am lucky if he takes 2 two hour naps a day. Although, I should point out that when he is awake, he is a super happy baby & only fusses when hungry or dirty.

Usually the only way to get him down for a nap is to hold him in my arms the entire two hours. I've tried to transfer him to his swing, his vibrating chair, his cosleeper, the bed, anything. No success. If I lay him down "drowsy but awake" he pops right back up and is completely alert.

At first I thought maybe if I tried to transfer him to his crib in the nursery it would be best, but he screams his head off the second I put him in his crib. I've even tried staying in the room with him.

ETA: I just realized the above paragraph may make it sound like I leave him to scream in his crib. I ABSOLUTELY do not. I pick him up immediately, and he stops crying instantly. I would never let my child cry.

I absolutely love cosleeping {even if he is in the arm's reach next to me}, but I am starting to wonder if in our case cosleeping is doing more harm than good. Maybe having him in the room/bed with us is what is causing him to need to be held through naps.

I really wouldn't mind except I'd like to use his naptime to get things done that way when my DH gets home we can spend quality family time together instead of my doing laundry, dusting, etc.

I'm a SAHM so I can be a little flexible, but at least one of those naps has to be somewhere else. I don't mean to make it sound that I don't love snuggling with my child, so I hope it doesn't come across that way. I do love it, but I also love clean underwear

Suggestions? Do you think cosleeping isn't working for us?

[MayasMama88]

In all honesty, I think co-sleeping is better for baby than being in a seperate room. From day 1 I knew I couldn't have my DD in another room, so we started her off in a bassinet in our bedroom, then in her crib right next to her bed (yes, I was so determined to have her sleeping beside me - and DH wasn't on board with co-sleeping yet), and eventually, around 3 months old we moved her right into bed with us. Babies, especially newborns, really do not have a set sleep schedule. And their sleep cycles are really varying. They may start off in deep sleep, then shortly after move into light sleep, then wake only to move back into light sleep, then deep sleep, etc etc. So with naptimes, if you nurse him to sleep and then try to move him, he's most likely in the light sleep stage, and so will wake more easily. What I did with my DD for the longest time is I would lie in our bed with her and nurse her to sleep so that I could just leave her there while I got up and did my housework or whatever. Once she got old enough to roll over on her own, we put pillows up around the perimeter of the bed (I know some people may think that's unsafe, but I would never put my baby in danger. My parents did it with all of us, and my LO was always fine). Now that she can crawl and stand up, I started putting her down for naps in her crib. It took a few days to get her used to it, and she did tend to wake up as soon as I'd put her in it (after being asleep in my arms), but soon she got the routine down and now she naps there everyday, twice a day! I would highly recommend reading "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. There is a TON of great advice and facts in that book, and honestly it is what helped me and Maya (DD) finally get a good sleep routine down. I hope this helps!

[Hannah32]

Originally Posted by NewMom610

I have a precious 5 week old little boy. We cosleep at night {first in the cosleeper then when he wakes around 3:00, he comes and sleeps with me until we get up for the day}.

However, he is a nightmare for naps. He is not a napper. At all. I am lucky if he takes 2 two hour naps a day. Although, I should point out that when he is awake, he is a super happy baby & only fusses when hungry or dirty.

Usually the only way to get him down for a nap is to hold him in my arms the entire two hours. I've tried to transfer him to his swing, his vibrating chair, his cosleeper, the bed, anything. No success. If I lay him down "drowsy but awake" he pops right back up and is completely alert.

At first I thought maybe if I tried to transfer him to his crib in the nursery it would be best, but he screams his head off the second I put him in his crib. I've even tried staying in the room with him.

ETA: I just realized the above paragraph may make it sound like I leave him to scream in his crib. I ABSOLUTELY do not. I pick him up immediately, and he stops crying instantly. I would never let my child cry.

I absolutely love cosleeping {even if he is in the arm's reach next to me}, but I am starting to wonder if in our case cosleeping is doing more harm than good. Maybe having him in the room/bed with us is what is causing him to need to be held through naps.

I really wouldn't mind except I'd like to use his naptime to get things done that way when my DH gets home we can spend quality family time together instead of my doing laundry, dusting, etc.

I'm a SAHM so I can be a little flexible, but at least one of those naps has to be somewhere else. I don't mean to make it sound that I don't love snuggling with my child, so I hope it doesn't come across that way. I do love it, but I also love clean underwear

Suggestions? Do you think cosleeping isn't working for us?

Wow, another thread where someone else has the same kid. LOL, only mine is six weeks.

I'm jealous that you get 2 2 hour naps. I get one hour long nap and maybe a second on on some days. And that's usually in the sling, so I have to do housework at a glacial pace. We have the same sleeping arrangement, right down to the time the baby winds up in bed with me and the Arm's Reach.

I think I will check out the Pantley book. I'm ok with how things are now....reciting to myself.....fourth trimester.....fourth trimester.....fourth trimester, but I will need more sleep when I return to work. It's non-negotiable, as I support the family with my teaching. Luckily, I have quite a bit of time to plan.

[HeliMom]

Have you thought about wearing the baby for naps? Your arms would be free to get things done and the baby would still have the comfort of mommy being there.

[NewMom610]

Thanks for the replies!

I'll pick up NCSS. For some reason I thought that was for older kids. I read Happiest Baby on the Block while I was pregnant.

We got one 1 hour nap & a 2 hour nap today. So decent.

I've tried wearing him around the house, and he seems very aware that we're home. So he isn't interested in napping in it which is odd, because he ALWAYS sleeps in it when we are out.

I've tried feeding him to sleep on the bed and getting up, and me moving wakes him up.

What's funny is that he sleeps through most noises. The dog often barks like crazy while he is sleeping, and he doesn't even stir. He sleeps through the vacuum, laundry, us talking, etc. {when my DH is home he holds him for a nap while I clean}.

It seems to be that movement is his "awake trigger."

Oh, and I also keep repeating "fourth trimester..."

[MayasMama88]

Originally Posted by NewMom610

Thanks for the replies!

I'll pick up NCSS. For some reason I thought that was for older kids. I read Happiest Baby on the Block while I was pregnant.

There is the regular NCSS for newborns and infants (though it does cover a bit of toddlers, too), and then there's the NCSS for Toddlers and Pre-Schoolers. She has a few "No-Cry" books for different things, even potty training!

Originally Posted by NewMom610

I've tried feeding him to sleep on the bed and getting up, and me moving wakes him up.

A few times, I actually nursed DD on the floor, that way there was no noise or movement when I got up. I layed a blanket down for her to fall asleep on, we nursed, she fell asleep, and she stayed asleep for anywhere from an hour to an hour and a half! That might work since she wouldn't really be able to hear you move away.

[beep]

With my DS, we kept a little sleeping box (bassinette type thing) near us. He slept entirely in arms for about the first 6 weeks, then we started putting him down when he was 100% out, picking him up again if he cried. It took a week or two of trying during most naps, but he came to sleep well in the box about 80% of the time until he was about 4.5 months old and needed a bigger, quieter place to sleep and more of a naptime ritual. He continued to cosleep snuggled in mama's elbow at night until we sidecarred a crib for him at 6.5 months and he began to sleep in his own space next to mama.

[porenn]

My daughter was the same way- wouldn't nap alone during the day... any movement out of my arms would wake her up. I don't remember when she started napping by herself, but eventually she did. Twice a day. And just when I started getting used to it, she dropped the morning nap.

Honestly tho, I bet it has nothing to do with co sleeping at night- your babe is only 5 weeks old- he's probably still used to hearing your heartbeat all the time, feeling your warmth, listening to you breathe.

I did try to wear her for naps when she was little because my arms always felt like they were breaking. I wasn't very successful so I eventually gave up and did what all my friends told me to do- Nap when the baby naps. When she fell asleep, I just went to bed. Being a SAHM, this worked for us. Understandably, not practical for everyone. I still do this sometimes, and she's just over 2 years old.

Bottom line- I DON'T think that co-sleeping at night is effecting naps. I DO think that it's really normal, and he'll be napping alone before you know it. Right now, it feels like it will never happen, but in a few months (maybe more) you'll suddenly notice that you're folding laundry and he's been snoozing in the living room for over an hour.

[meemee]

dont worry this too shall pass. the first 6 weeks of dd's life she slept on me - on my chest. nighttime and naps.

i looked at it as dd slowly separating from me from pregnancy time.

however seh was also the kind who did not nap. i came home with a child who was awake more than napping.

later dd always slept longer if i stayed in bed with her. she'd nap for half hour or one hour MAX on her own. but if i stayed with her she would easily nap 2 hours and sometimes 3 hours. i would stay and look upon that as an opportunity for me to rest to and try and get her to sleep for 3 but poor child. she only did that rarely.