Is this a terrible idea? (Grad student/Professor Mamas please stop in)

[just_lily]

I need to think out loud (online...) for a bit and could really use the advice of some BTDT mamas. I am in Canada if anyone has any Canadian-specific advice, but I am very open to all experiences.

I am giving serious thought to pursuing a PhD in management, majoring most likely in finance. I am really excited about the possibility, but afraid to make the leap.

I have a 2yo DD and have been staying at home with her and doing in-home childcare to make ends meet since she was born. It has always been hard but lately the bad days are outnumbering the good. I feel like all of my energy is being sapped out of me and that my brain is turning to mush.

Before DD I worked in banking doing commercial lending. I have *NO* desire to go back to banking. My undergraduate degree is also in business.

I have always thought that I would prefer to be 'just' a SAHM, but I am slowly coming to the conclusion that it just isn't going to be in the cards. We live in a high COL area, are upside down on our mortgage, and, quite frankly, I have more earning power than my DH. He does fairly well and has a good paying, stable job, but doesn't have any post secondary eduction, nor is he inclined to go back to school, so he will be limited as to how far he can go in his field - computers. He is fine with this and happy with what he is doing, but it just isn't enough to support our family on one salary.

So now I am thinking that if I am going to have to work, then why not work in a field that I will actually enjoy (i.e. not banking, and not childcare) and where I can make a decent living. I have always been an academic at heart (I *loved* university) and I believe I would really enjoy working as a professor. Reading and studying and research are right up my ally, and I also love to teach, although my stint in home daycare has made me realize that toddlers are just not the right fit for me.

I gave serious consideration to continuing on to grad school after completing my undergrad, but was lured with a pretty good job offer in banking. So this has been a dream of mine for a while, and is not something just out of left field.

But now that I am married with a child, a mortgage and we have been TTCing, I am worried about the logistics. What is it like to do graduate education with a family?

I am also worried about finances. I will need to continue to contribute to my family's income or we will be out on the street. The school I am looking at (I really only have one choice since we can't move until the housing market recovers) says online that it provides a minimum of $20k in funding for four years for PhD students. Tuition and fees for the first two years is about $6k, and continuing fees are about $1500 a year after that. Can I count on any of that money being free to use towards living expenses, or will I need it all for travel and conferences and things?

I may need to also get a part time job. Is there any way I could do PhD coursework, have a job, and still have time to see my kid??

The other sticking point is that I don't have an MBA, and really have no desire to get one. Mainly because of the cost (they are all *really* expensive, with very little funding available), and also because it is my impression that most MBA programs are geared towards people who have undergraduate degrees in other fields, so would include very little that I didn't already cover in undergrad.

The school I am looking at says online that it sometimes accepts students with just undergraduate degrees as an exception. Do you think a 3.78/4.0 from my undergrad, four years of relevant work experience, and a high score on the GMATs (which I haven't taken yet) would qualify for an exception?

And one last question for you.... it has been six years since I completed my undergrad, and have moved to the other side of the country since then. Would it be weird to email my old profs for references with a "hey, remember me?" when I haven't kept in touch with them for so long? I intend to contact profs that I TA'd for, so hopefully they will have a clue who I am. It can't be that out of the ordinary, can it?

Ok... that is about all I have for now. I am still in the very early stages of considering this as a real possibility, so I am sorry to be bothering everyone with fairly basic questions. I don't have anyone IRL to discuss this with at the moment and really appreciate any advice anyone might have.

Thanks!!

[lolar2]

Have you looked into applying for jobs that are related to banking, but not banking?

[just_lily]

Originally Posted by lolar2

Have you looked into applying for jobs that are related to banking, but not banking?

Such as?

Seriously, you have me stumped on that one. Government maybe? Anything like that wouldn't be in my geographical area.

[lolar2]

I was thinking if your undergrad is in business, big nonprofits and for-profit corporations have financial offices-- maybe something along those lines.

[just_lily]

Most job postings I have seen along those lines are looking for people with accounting designations, which I don't have.

There are lots of things I could do with just a business degree, sure. But I will most likely have to go back to entry level, in which case I might as well stick it out in childcare, or will also be as energy sucking as banking was.

I am really not trying to be negative.... it is just that these are possibilities that I have already considered and ruled out.

[~pi]

PMing you.

[Carita]

i'm sure pi has great advice.

if the 20K is stipend (you would need to clarify this), then that means your tuition is paid for and 20K is your take home pay that you can do whatever with. Usually it requires you to go to school FT and teach PT. this would be truely the ideal situation to get paid to get your degree. I woul dalso consider getting your MBA along the way just in case you decide that getting a PhD isn't what you really want.

[JudiAU]

My comment is sort of around your question but I hope it helps. We have 2 (12m, 3y) and DH is a full time MBA student. I work full time and we have a nanny. Prior to DH's return to school and the birth of LO#2, he was a SAHD for two years. I then had a 6month maternity leave when he started school. We've had a nanny for the last six months. I finished my master's degree right before giving birth to LO#1 while I was also working 60 hours a week. I do NOTHING but try and work full time and see my kids and I still feel like I get zero time with them. DH is a zombie while he in school. He spent almost no time with our newborn until she was six months old. It was really sad to watch him transition from SAHD to Zero-At-Home-Dad.

If you are planning on having another child I would really urge you to do it before you go back to school.

Edited because I saw your comments on MBAs: One of my undergraduate degrees is in business. The content is in no way comparable to the MBA program my husband is doing. The emphasis is totally different. Undergraduate work is to prepare you to be the cog. MBA is to prepare you to be the machine. I can't help you value it for your own career, but the business world doesn't value them in the same way either.

[mum4vr]

btdt sorta

I have done something similar, and I won't lie-- it is going to be a long hard road (in my case, I decided it was still worth it in hindsight).

Trying to be 3 or 4 people at once is quite stressful. I would say have baby first and let some/ all of her/ his infancy pass... OR... wait to have baby until after the PHD. (although I admit, I had 2 babies right in the middle-- hence my qualifications to say this-- a) it is a trainwreck and b) they only have one childhood, and c) only a tiny part of childhood is their precious infancy!)

Anyway... surely there is something not too brain-sucking you could do for income that is flexible and pays at least decent... why not tutor since you'll spend lots of time on campus anyway? Most schools have tutoring centers where you can work helping others-- the pay sux, but it's more than daycare and is stimulating, usually...? Just a thought...

You are one motivated mama!

blessings

[mum4vr]

Oh-- and definitely email your profs w an update and request ref-- they will remember you and give you *GLOWING* references! Not awkward at all-- teachers of any stripe love to hear from former students!