i think the stages of grief go all kinds of ways. i'll be honest and say that i still grieve a year after her diagnosis. it's so corny when people say, "it's not a sprint. it's a marathon." - BUT it's true. there are days when i feel like my daughter and i can conquer the world, and there are days when i feel like getting out of bed is too damn hard. the reality, like people say over and over, is that your little one has NOT changed because there are new letters on his medical chart. trying to see him through a lens of asd, but not ONLY through asd eyes (if that makes sense) is a tough balancing act.
i often think of autism as a different language. my daughter needs me to learn a language i never knew before, and it's also my job to teach other people her language, as much as i can.
i definitely think reaching out to others who understand is incredibly helpful. we're less likely to try to minimize your experience, you don't have to explain everything, etc. please use this space to really vent - be sad, be pissed off, be whatever you need to be. almost all of us have been there, and we understand sometimes it's just not easy.
and as far as the specific labels (aspergers vs. pdd vs. autism), i hope you don't get caught up in the name. i know kids who are all over all of those labels, and i've learned they certainly don't define, explain, or limit anyone.