What constitutes 'as long as possible'?

[scrappin-mama]

This may be a silly question, and it may not really have an answer, but I thought I'd at least get some opinions.

I'll be delivering in a hospital for the 3rd time. The last 2 were full of interventions, and complications due to the interventions. I know to help avoid that this time, I need to stay home 'as long as possible' before going in, but what does that mean exactly?

Last delivery, we went in when my contractions were regularly 5 minutes apart, which is what the OB said meant I should come on in. The hospital was 40 minutes away, and I was still only 4 cm when we got there.

Now we live about 7 minutes away from the hospital. I know this probably varies with everyone, but what is a good indicator/estimate of when I should go in?

I still have a long time to prepare/think about this, but it was on my mind today.

Thanks!

[Galatea]

When you can do nothing other than concentrate on labor by swaying, dancing, breathing, etc. Bradley method gives a good description and photos of this. We did this for #2 (not on purpose, just went fast) and arrived at 10 cm and he was born 20 minutes later.

If you can still talk/laugh/smile, don't go yet.

[rparker]

This probably isn't that helpful, but I really think it depends on your individual labor patterns. With my first labor I went in WAY earlier that I thought I should--3 hours from the onset of the first contraction--and my daughter was born 3 hours after we got there. My contractions were five minutes apart when we left our house, the hospital was about 10 minutes away, and I was 4 cm dilated when we arrived. I declined a lot of stuff, but there really wasn't time for the nurses to become too insistent. Other women can arrive at the hospital 4 cm dilated and take much longer to dilate that last 6 cm.

[womenswisdom]

For a typical labor pattern, I suggest that when contractions are 3-4 minutes apart, lasting at least one minute for about an hour, then go in. If labor seemed to "hit" quickly or there are other signs things are moving quickly, then go sooner. Most telling is the emotional signposts of the mother and how serious she is. Of course, when a mom says she wants to go, we go, even if it's not when *I* would go!

[rightkindofme]

Originally Posted by Galatea

If you can still talk/laugh/smile, don't go yet.

I did all of these things while pushing. Some of us never go non-verbal. I also did a lot of extensive negotiation with my labor team because they were trying hard to push me into interventions and no one else was speaking up.

[cappuccinosmom]

When the thought of getting in the car makes you want to do a homebirth?

Dh had to coax me into the car the last time. I think we could have gone in a little earlier and been OK.

[MittensKittens]

You could check your own cervix if you want.

[EmmysMama]

Just to complicate it a little more ... I basically understood this as "don't go until you think you're in transition". Okey-dokey. Both times I was non-verbal, shaking, etc, and even threw up with DD2. Wow, time to go! DH had to carry me to the car. And both times, when we got to the hospital, which is a long ride for us ... 5 cm? Whaa?

And shortly afterward that would pass and I'd be "normal" again (in labor but, yk, normal!).

Then I read online about some other woman having a "fake" transition at 4 cm. Well then. I guess I do that too. Because it felt just like the "real" transition later on.

[scrappin-mama]

Thanks so much! This has all been really helpful. Now if I can just convince dh not to panic and insist we go in RIGHT NOW. lol

[honeybee]

What about hiring a doula who can help you read the emotional sign posts and decide when to go in? And then she'd be a help if you did get there a little too early. I personally wouldn't step foot in a hospital without a doula. We were only at the hospital 2 hours before ds1 was born (I arrived at 6 cm), but our doula was still invaluable.

[scrappin-mama]

I would love to hire a doula, but we just can't afford the extra expenses right now, and dh is already worried about the hospital costs for this delivery (this was an unexpected pregnancy). He's not as understanding about my need to do things the 'right' way this time. I think in his mind, as long as we get a baby out of it, that's all that counts. lol

[Jenne]

Would an apprentice midwife be willing to be your "monitrice"? If she can count it, it might even be free...

I think you have lots of good answers here. I do think just as each woman is unique, so is each birth. We are struggling with the same info here. I wish you a beautiful birth and gorgeous babe!

Jenne

[klemomma]

You have definitely got some really good ideas already.

I wanted to add that for me, my contractions have never nicely fit the "recommended" pattern in any of my four labors. Some of my labors, I have had contractions 5 - 8 minutes apart up until transition. And, some labors, I have had contractions 3 -5 minutes apart for a *long* time. This last time, I was having very strong contractions 15 - 20 minutes apart (they had been closer, 8 minutes or so, before slowing down to 20 or so), when I went in, and I was already to 5 cm.

Anyway, my patterns don't mean anything to you, of course. But my point is, first of all, try to go with what you know to be true of your body. Second of all, the strength of the contractions can matter just as much as timing. That's what people are getting at with the talk / smile / laugh thing. Even if you are still doing those things, you know your own reactions to the strength of the contractions, and you'll have a sense of when they are substantially strong.

Also, since the hospital is so close to you, you can go in if you feel the need / desire, and if you are checked and at a 3, you can tell them you want to walk around a while before being admitted, or you want to go home and come back in a few hours. You don't have to have them admit you just because you came in.

Best of luck to you on your birthing journey!

[CherryBomb]

For me, it means "whenever I feel like I need to go." Which could be just because I feel like I need to go, even if my contractions are 5 or more minutes a part, otherwise, I'll go when they're 2-3 minutes apart (that's what I did with my vba2c and I was 7cm when I got there).

[EMAID]

I'm a Bradley person, so I agree with Galatea, though of course no one here is wrong. The Bradley book I have describes the 3 emotional signposts of labor as excitement, seriousness, and self doubt. They recommend leaving for the hospital when you're in the serious stage, bordering on self doubt. I think of it as the first time you think/say "I don't think I can do this."

[finnegansmom]

Originally Posted by Galatea

When you can do nothing other than concentrate on labor by swaying, dancing, breathing, etc. .

THIS.

I wanted to wait "as long as possible" before going in. My contractions started around 1030pm and were 5 minutes apart from the get go.
I called my MW at 12 midnight thinking *maybe* I was in labor?
She said to try to get some rest and to call her if things "got unbearable" - or in the morning.
By 2am, I couldn't really speak, except to drop the f bomb at my husband who keep asking me stupid questions during a contraction...."do you want to put shoes on finn? or houseslippers ? "
I knew I needed to leave so we left at 230am, got the hospital around 315 and he was born at 405am. It was perfect timing for us, but I must say, the car ride SUCKED.

[kltroy]

One of my doula friends always said "when it sounds like you're having sex, it's about time to go in". I think that's pretty much true. Other guidelines: when you throw up, you're probably nearing transition - time to go in. When you really don't want to move around any more, time to go in. When you really have to concentrate to get through a contraction and simply want to rest between them, rather than continue on with your conversation, time to go in.

[Galatea]

Originally Posted by EMAID

I'm a Bradley person, so I agree with Galatea, though of course no one here is wrong. The Bradley book I have describes the 3 emotional signposts of labor as excitement, seriousness, and self doubt. They recommend leaving for the hospital when you're in the serious stage, bordering on self doubt. I think of it as the first time you think/say "I don't think I can do this."

I think a lot of it is knowing your body, too... for me, my labors are so quick that if I wait until the first "I can't do this," the baby will be born in about 10 minutes, so no point going anywhere. So were I to go to a hospital, I'd leave during the "serious" stage. Those with longer labors may do better leaving during the beginning of "self doubt." I have a friend who left during serious and showed up at 9 cm for her first birth... but she was in the Army and is very self-possessed, so "self-doubt" may never happen for her!

(Or, a shameless plug for homebirth... don't go anywhere!!!!)

Anyway, like the other posters said, the timing of contractions is not so important as how hard they are working.

[WifeofAnt]

Okay, I'm 40 minutes away from our hospital (the local hospital is as far as baby-friendly as you can get). Would the same things apply?

[Galatea]

Originally Posted by WifeofAnt

Okay, I'm 40 minutes away from our hospital (the local hospital is as far as baby-friendly as you can get). Would the same things apply?

Well, this is your first, so I'd say that somewhere between serious and "I can't do this."