Potty learning- next step?

[MamaRuga]

I've decided to take the very lazy mama approach to potty learning and just let my 2.5 yo dd come to it in her own time as much as possible. She has been showing signs of being ready for a while and I was looking forward to summer time so that she could go without a diaper as much as possible.

Well, she does great with no diaper on. She almost always goes in the potty, both pee and pop, without fail. But once she has any sort of bottoms on, diaper or just loose pants, she doesn't use the potty. There have been once or twice that she has pulled her pants down to go, but that is very rare. Having a wet diaper or wet pants or underwear does not phase her in the least so she doesn't seem motivated by the discomfort factor.

This has been going on for a few months. Now that summer is winding down, I'm getting a little worried that we are going to loose the window of warm weather. Also, and even more frustrating for me, is that DH does NOT like her running around with a bare bottom. He thinks it is unsanitary. So, we only get bare bottom time in the mornings when he isn't around and it is back to diapers in the afternoon/evenings when he is home.

I guess I am looking to know if I should be doing something more assertive for getting her to use the potty when she has her pants on. She has made it clear that she only goes when she wants to go. No amount of suggestions and reminders from me help, they only cause conflict. The fact that she never has an accident when she is bare bottom and goes potty without needing or wanting any help, leads me to believe that she is really capable of taking the next step.

I know that she will be using the potty by the time she is 16, so I'm doing my best to stay relaxed about it. Still, I wonder if there is something I could do to help encourage things along to the next step.

[Violet2]

DD had a similar issue. If she was nakey, she was fine (and we did nakey in the dead of winter, just put on long sweaters.) Put clothes on and she had an accident, sometimes it seemed like the clothes were the trigger!

I would simply use a pull up or training panty and escort her to the potty on a regular basis for a while. Expect accidents and roll with the flow. 'Oh no, your pee pee got lost! It's supposed to be in the potty.'

Some books on going potty and some DVDs would help. I found that going over and over and over the concept helped DD soak it up.

It will take a while. For DD being able to hold it with clothes on was one of her last skills mastered, but your DD is older than DD was so it may not take as long.

So...all annoying but normal.

Potty training is a lot of work. Probably one of the more long term tasks we do as parents if you think about it. 4-5 years of learning at least.

ETA: Oh and urine is sterile. I did use a panty after poops though.

V

[morganlefay]

wow, I just came here to ask the same thing!

[MamaRuga]

Thanks for the thoughts. I guess it will just take some time. So many friends have children that it just happened more quickly for. But they probably were able to put a lot more focused time into it (like spending a weekend doing nothing else). I am just not able to do that sort of thing. Still, it has been perhaps 2 months and we just don't seem to be making much progress at all. In fact, she used to wake up in the night and call me to go potty. But that stopped a couple of weeks ago and she is back to going in her diaper in her sleep.

I never imagined that it would take so long to make so very little progress!