My 4 yr old son can be so sweet and he is a great little boy. Lately though he is being fairly aggressive and his movements and actions are unpredictable.
I think this is a result of feeling frustrated. We have a 10 month old also who requires a fair bit of attention and is in arms a good portion of the day. DS1 was great for the 1st bit but now I think he is really feeling the split of our attention. He grits his teeth at the little one and makes frustrated faces. He can also be fairly aggressive with the babe; he wants to play with him but it is rough, not intentionally mean though.
His actions are also very unpredictable. At this point he'll be coming towards me with his arms going and I don't know if I'm going to get whacked or hugged. Tonight we were snuggling in bed and he looked at me and head butted me (my nose still hurts). And earlier today him and dh were playing around and he spat his mouth full of chewed up food on him. Not normal behaviour for him at all.
DH and I are very aware of his feelings of frustration and the extra attention going to the babe. We've started setting up dates - one of us having 1 on 1 with DS1 and taking turns putting him to bed (it was only dh doing this job for a long time). We've also been trying to spend some mommy, daddy and ds1 time together when babe is napping (unfortunately, babe is not much of a sleeper).
I'm also guessing that some of his actions are him being a little boy (with a double dose of testosterone from the reading I've done) and he's learning his own strength and abilities.
I am finding it so challenging though. Tonight when he head butted me I almost lost it. I asked firmly why did you do that and told him that it hurt me and then I left the room b/c I didn't want to yell. I went back 5 minutes later to tell him I love him but I don't want to snuggle with him when he hurts me. I gave him and kiss and that was all. I'm feeling terrible about it all and not sure if that was the best way to handle it.
I guess I'm looking for advice on how to handle the aggression and unpredictable actions and his feelings of frustration.
I'm reading Playful Parenting and have started to try and implement some of his ideas and so far they have been helpful but I need more advice.
Thanks.
I think this is a result of feeling frustrated. We have a 10 month old also who requires a fair bit of attention and is in arms a good portion of the day. DS1 was great for the 1st bit but now I think he is really feeling the split of our attention. He grits his teeth at the little one and makes frustrated faces. He can also be fairly aggressive with the babe; he wants to play with him but it is rough, not intentionally mean though.
His actions are also very unpredictable. At this point he'll be coming towards me with his arms going and I don't know if I'm going to get whacked or hugged. Tonight we were snuggling in bed and he looked at me and head butted me (my nose still hurts). And earlier today him and dh were playing around and he spat his mouth full of chewed up food on him. Not normal behaviour for him at all.
DH and I are very aware of his feelings of frustration and the extra attention going to the babe. We've started setting up dates - one of us having 1 on 1 with DS1 and taking turns putting him to bed (it was only dh doing this job for a long time). We've also been trying to spend some mommy, daddy and ds1 time together when babe is napping (unfortunately, babe is not much of a sleeper).
I'm also guessing that some of his actions are him being a little boy (with a double dose of testosterone from the reading I've done) and he's learning his own strength and abilities.
I am finding it so challenging though. Tonight when he head butted me I almost lost it. I asked firmly why did you do that and told him that it hurt me and then I left the room b/c I didn't want to yell. I went back 5 minutes later to tell him I love him but I don't want to snuggle with him when he hurts me. I gave him and kiss and that was all. I'm feeling terrible about it all and not sure if that was the best way to handle it.
I guess I'm looking for advice on how to handle the aggression and unpredictable actions and his feelings of frustration.
I'm reading Playful Parenting and have started to try and implement some of his ideas and so far they have been helpful but I need more advice.
Thanks.
