for those with babies who won't take a pacifier...

[jsh7809]

My 4 month old DD won't take a pacifier (though occasionally she'll go through a VERY short phase where she'll tolerate one if she's mostly asleep, for weeks now she just spits it out or gags), and since I have an oversupply of milk, I can't nurse her to sleep (the milk just keeps letting down and it ultimately wakes her up more because she has to keep gulping and gulping and gulping). However, she's very "oral"/ has a high suck need, and so DH and I find ourselves giving her our fingers to suck on pretty much any time she needs help falling asleep. Since she takes very very short naps, and needs lots of them, this is like 6 times a day, sometimes for extended periods. It sucks! (pun intended)

I'm trying to look at it as a benefit (i.e., my nipples aren't sore and we don't have to keep replacing a fallen-out paci). But it is really frustrating when allll she wants is to suck on my fingers. Actually, she spends day and night trying to successfully suck on her OWN fingers, but can't do it when she's tired, as she really needs to get a finger in her mouth and keep it there (she's not happy just slurping away on her fists like when she was a newborn).

I'm thinking lately that I'm kind of being lazy about trying to get her to fall asleep in other ways, like rocking or walking or wearing. We do go on walks in the daytime and she'll take short naps that way, but the only way I can get her to sleep at night or for longer naps is to let her suck on my pinky for extended periods of time. Occasionally recently she's needed to sleep with my finger in her mouth for an hour or more!

This is part rant and part question. Is anyone else out there in the same position? Any advice? Any hope for me that she'll be able to find her fingers in her sleep SOON?! I keep trying to let her sleep unswaddled but she still wakes herself up all night long if I do. Naps are unswaddled and I "work" with her to help her try her fingers a lot during the day... I'm even starting to worry that she wants to suck TOO much, is such a thing possible for a baby?

[octobermom]

My LO is just a few weeks older and shes also a non paci baby. She does suck on her fingers though or her silky lovey or sophies ears or legs
Mine is also a tummy sleeper its the only way she'll settle and sleep well she startles herself too much sleeping flat on her back.

Deanna

[cristeen]

Is she sleeping on her back? Have you tried side or tummy? At 4 mos, she's more than old enough to turn her head even if she can't turn her whole body yet.

My guy has never taken a paci, but he did find his own fingers around 4-5 mos, IIRC. He's not a big sucker though - he's bottle-fed, so he takes care of all his sucking with eating (we still use a NB nipple at 10 mos).

Have you tried different brands/shapes of pacis? Since she'll take it sometimes, maybe a different brand would be more acceptable to her?

I would probably work on getting her to accept something else, even if it's not a paci. A teether, or a stuffy or a blankie, whatever will work for her.

[P.J.]

DS won't take a paci either. If you haven't already, then try all the various different shapes and materials, and there are many! Max particularly hates the silicone ones, so we don't even try with those anymore. He likes the latex or rubber round and cherry shaped ones better, and we just got a Nuk with the slanted edge which he also chews on but he never can really hold them in while sucking. We just keep trying because I think it could help him fall asleep if someone else besides me is putting him down, or in the car which he sometimes gets all fussy about. Several mums here have said their LO didn't take a paci until 3+ months, so I would say just keep trying and maybe it'll work someday!

ETA: Just wondering why you don't swaddle? I find it essential in getting DS to sleep, as he's really squirmy and it soothes him to be held still in the swaddle.

[ann_of_loxley]

Sleeping on his tummy seems to help.

But also - have you tried block feeding? Heavy block feeding?

I have oversupply as well - but actually I think this helps with comfort sucking! We do some heavy block feeding (about 6 hours + for each boob...which means I only go through about two boobs a day - one throughout the night). This means he does tend to feed more often - but it then allows him to get enough comfort sucking in because of that. When the next boob is bursting ripe (lol) - we swap again. If I didn't do it this way he would be super grumpy becase he too is pretty 'sucky' and he would also have a very upset tummy with too much foremilk and not enough hind milk (you can tell by the poo). It also leaves my boobs feeling much more comfortable.

[andlee]

My LO sleeps on his tummy too. He also loves to suck on cotton, I usually just give him a burp towel. It's his favorite toy. I don't know if it would work for nighttime, I think my DS would find it distracting, but it definitely works at stores. When I have him in the sling I use one hand to hold the towel to his mouth (he's not as coordinated as he would like) and he's happy as can be.

[jsh7809]

Thanks for the advice! She's rejecting the swaddle these days (as in, 5 minutes after every time I got her to fall asleep last night, she'd start yelling and finally wouldn't stop until I unswaddled her), and today she seemed to finally be able to find her fingers to suck on pretty consistently!! At night, she's still too sleepy to do it, but I see signs that maybe it won't be THAT long. So that's a good thing.
As for the tummy sleeping - I wish, I've been trying to work with her to sleep on her stomach, but she just wakes up and starts turtling her head up again and trying to roll over. Side sleeping is a little better but often leads to flopping over onto her back and that wakes her up too. She ONLY wants to suck on her fingers or mine - now she's rejecting DH's too, and won't accept any kind of pacifier or cloth or toy. Which is funny, because as far as just chomping and slobbering goes, she loves her Sophie or just about anything.
So, like almost everything baby-related, I'm realizing I just have to be patient... if the girly is showing interest in being able to self soothe soon, then I am able to wait!

[carmel23]

None of my kids have ever taken a pacifier. So it is possible to get along without one. :

[donutmolly]

None of my kids have taken a paci either (well, actually, they all accepted it in the car for less than 2 mo, then they refused it entirely, what's up with that?) But it's very hard when you have a baby who needs to suck to soothe! I really do recommend trying some block feeding to get your supply down to a manageable level where LO can nurse for comfort without getting flooded. Or hopefully she'll continue to find her own fingers when she needs them!