Help me, Please?

[MamaMem]

I am startig with some history to hopefully give you an accurate picture of my heart about this AND the facts that I am facing.

I weaned G1 at 12 mo for health reasons. I could not work on losing weight and BF at the same time (made him sick and colicky and grouchy everytime). I really wanted to lose weight before TTC#2. So I weaned. But I had milk for 3 mo. Then got pregnant and my milk came back for almost 3 more months. 6 mo of milk and no baby to drink it was not fun. It was hiddeous! I said I would never do that again.

Now G2 is EFB and almost 14 mo old. I have plenty of milk. He mostly refuses food. I love nursing. I love love love it. I swore I would not wean before 2 for any reason. IN fatc I have become more and more inclined toward CLW. I still dont want to wean. But... you knew that was coming, right?

I have been unexplicably gaining weight slowly but surely and have reached my person limit on how much I can weigh. (just so this makes sense: bc of horrible pregnancy, food allergies ( they make me gain weight), PPD meds (Zoloft), hypothyroidism (yes I am under Dr care) and some other unknown reason, I am now 101 lbs more than I was less than 4 years ago. ) I am not interested in weaning. But I need to focus a little more on me. Giving him my best is not going to be the best if my health fails bc of it. But I dont want to wean. Nor do I want to give him formula.

Yesterday I simply offered him a bottle of goat milk + vitamin stuff (very safe for babies, sweet). He chewed on the bottle for a while and eventually went to sleep without nursing. There was no crying involved. (or I could not have done it) He will suck a bottle when he is hungry enough but does not really like them. I continue to offer food and he continues to be a bit snobbish about it.

So my question is:
What would you give him in place of a feeding?
Would you give something in place of a feeding?
Do you have any other sage wisdom?
Am I sounding rational about balancing me and him?

Everyone around me thinks I should push! him toward food. That is no answer bc he reacts pretty quickly to too much food with a diarhea burned bum and all night belly aches.

[maddymama]

Hi Mama,
I understand indecision you are facing. It's a rough time for you. I applaud you for EBFing your G2 for so long. What a great start you have given him in life!
What foods have you offered him so far? It sounds like something upset his tummy... have you tried ground up meat? banannas? rice? I wonder if he has a food intolerance or a food allergy.
What would you give him in place of a feeding? I wouldn't necessarily do this in place of a feeding, but after a feeding until your LO is comfortably taking in enough to replace a feeding. I wouldn't do it abruptly, but gradually......
Would you give something in place of a feeding? not yet... in time yes, but not yet.....
Do you have any other sage wisdom? I think you are in a difficult situation with the medicines and trying to loose weight. I'd do a few things: eat as healthy as possible yourself... as unprocessed as possible, etc. I'd also maybe try to see a nutritionist to set up a diet plan for you so that you can eat, lose weight, and still produce enough milk for your LO while you want to....
Am I sounding rational about balancing me and him? Yes, you are sounding rational, and balanced. This is a very special relationship for the two of you, and it's hard to give it up....

Good luck!
~maddymama

[crunchy_mommy]

That's tough. Definitely your health needs to be a priority. I'm not totally sure I understand why BF'ing means you can't lose weight (genuinely curious, not being sarcastic!) I am holding on to about 5-8 extra pounds due to BF'ing but it sounds like you're in a much more severe position & I'm not sure I understand how BF'ing less will solve it (and if it doesn't, will you regret BF'ing less?) Is 'producing milk' your problem, or is it having to be available 24/7? Could you pump & leave bottles so you have time to yourself/the gym/etc? Or does it just sap your energy to be BF'ing? I guess I don't really fully understand how cutting down BF'ing will solve your health issues, maybe you can elaborate on this for me (or at least for yourself).

My DS is 18mo and recently started eating solids much much better than he used to. I wonder if you could hold out just a couple more months -- get him to 18/19 months which will give him time to get better accustomed to solid foods before you actively cut him down...

Right now, I am starting to give DS table food/water in place of nursing. He nursed 20+ times a day previously & I have health issues as well and nursing on demand was just getting to be too tiring & emotionally too much for me. I felt he no longer needed to rely on almost-exclusively nursing because he was showing much more interest/appetite for solid food and emotionally seemed able to handle less nursing. I have no interest in weaning him either, I just needed to cut down a bit. But I felt strongly that if I had to replace nursing with anything but table food (i.e. if I had to replace it with non-human milk/formula/pacifier/etc.) then that meant he wouldn't have been ready to nurse less. If it was a struggle, again, it would have meant he still needed to nurse on demand.

I'm answering this way because you posted on the CLW forum -- so I hope you don't take offense with how I answered, if you asked this in BBI I likely would've answered a little differently but it sounds like you really want to CLW.