? for mamas who already have kids

[meganlisbeth]

i've heard time and time again about people buying gifts for their older kid when a sibling comes. i'm planning on taking some time and going on some special little trips/outings with my son before the baby is born so we can have some one on one time, but am unsure about actual presents. what have you experienced mamas done?

[buckeyedoc]

I gave my oldest son a gift from my second son last time (can't recall what it was, though!), and I am giving both older sons gifts from baby #3 this time. They are gifts bags with Lego sets that they have both really wanted for a while, as well as "congratulations" cards for becoming a big brother (or becoming a big brother again). I am having a hospital birth, so I think we will give them the bags when they come to visit right after the birth.

We have also taken several extra outings together in recent weeks, like to festivals and the pool.

[CrunchyChristianMama]

I made my DD a baby sling to carry her doll in. She loves to imitate me and figured she would want one for her baby when I put the new baby in my wraps and such. If I have time and get bored waiting for this babe to finally arrive I think I may make her a couple pretend cloth diapers too.

[MonP'titBoudain]

When dd was born, my dh thought it was really important to get ds a little gift. I didn't feel so strongly about it, but didn't object either. Honestly, I think ds could've taken it or left it.

This time around, we've gotten dd a little book about becoming a big sister because we found that ds (who was the same age when she arrived) really needed more help understanding what little babies need and processing the transition. I had planned on giving it to her before baby comes, but I don't think it will make much sense to her until the concreteness of life with a newborn is in front of her. So, we will give it to her in the early days after baby comes. DS also will get a book as a means of keeping things balanced. But, I am very hesitant to present these gifts immediately after baby's arrival. I'm much more inclined to wait at least until later that day or maybe the next few days. I find that moment of introducing a new sibling to be so fragile and precious, I just don't want to clutter it up with stuff. I'd rather focus on reassuring the older ones of their place with me, passing baby off to Daddy or Grandma or the midwife so that I can snuggle with them and hug them and talk to them about whatever they want to talk about. Or have them hold and meet their brother, whatever they seem to need at that moment.

Oh, and ds (4 1/2 now) also helped me to make a little softie toy from some of his drawings so he will be giving that to baby brother whenever he feels like it. He was pretty excited about making a gift for the baby, but I think that's cause he's older this time and is anticipating this much more!

[matey]

I got ds a pack of cars. He is obsessed with cars. A new pack of cars can entertain him or days. I got it for him so in those first few days when we are tired and tending to a baby, he has something new to do. I am not saying it's from the baby or anything, it will just be like "hey, look at this"

[dannic]

Nothing. I figured a baby was gift enough.

[finnegansmom]

DDCC - (although I was in this DDC for a while)

I bought some wooden food, books and some cute small toys for my toddler when #2 came along. They were kept in a basket near my nursing rocking chair, so when I was nursing #2, #1 had new fun toys to play with. He loved the wood food set, so I didn't feel badly having some nice quiet time nursing #2 while #1 played at my feet...

[amyrobynne]

Originally Posted by dannic

Nothing. I figured a baby was gift enough.

[newmommy7-08]

I let DS pick out the girls first stuffed animals, DH and I picked out his. Then for DS we bought a new coloring book and crayons... nothing expensive and both were things we were going to be getting anyway. DS mows through his coloring books lol.

[AmyKT]

Originally Posted by dannic

Nothing. I figured a baby was gift enough.

Same here, though other people have bought gifts, and we just try to involve her as much as possible. She seems to be adjusting just fine.

[rlandnl]

We are getting DS something... I don't know what yet, but it won't be from the baby, it will be from us. And it's not really a becoming a big brother gift, it's mostly because the new baby has been getting so much, from everyone, and he has been the one and only for so long. I want him to know that he will get new things too. I know my dad is going to get him something too. He mentioned a new comforter set for his bed (not that he needs it he has THREE lol) but he will like it. I am leaning either towards a lego set, or a new DS game... something that he will love and will keep him entertained when I am busy since I have been at his beck and call and only his for over 7 years now..

[HaikuMommy]

We bought 2yo DD some presents, and wrapped them in colorful paper. We want to make sure she will still feel special, too, since she is used to being the only child. Also, we want to provide new activities to keep her busy when mom is exhausted during baby sister's first couple weeks. We bought her a cuddly baby doll, which I think we'll give her the first day -- and some special paper and markers that only color on the special paper. Also, we bought playdoh, which she has never played with before. I imagine putting her in her high chair with the playdoh when I need to cook or something.

I think it might be confusing to say they are "from" the baby, so we will just bring them out one by one on different days and call them "big sister gifts", especially as a way for rewarding gentleness toward her little sister. I am a little worried that 2yo DD might be rough and tumble or not understand how delicate newborns are, so I want to reinforce the importance of gentleness.

[andtay23]

I have a mini moby wrap waiting for DD, though I won't give it to her until I'm actually using the moby wrap around the house with the LO. I figure she will be dying to carry the baby herself, so this is a good way feed her need for mommy imitation and encourage baby wearing in a way that doesn't involve a real baby!

My MIL is planning on giving her a new bedding set that is all pink...just because she learned recently that DD loves pink. She's going to say it's her Big Sister bedding, but it's really just an excuse to give DD a gift

Also, DD got her ears pierced recently and we couldn't use the pearl earrings my mom bought (because we needed to punch the holes with the preloaded guns at the store). DD has been asking for the pearl earrings a lot and I told her that she can wear them after her sister is born...which works out to be 6wks after the piercing, the necessary waiting period to change earrings. Like the sheet set, these aren't really a Big Sister gift...but she'll get them around the same time that the baby arrives so there's kind of an association.

[thenaturefreak]

When we had our second I didn't do anything, but my sister did. She brought a special beanie animal for each of the girls. That started a tradition and we made special gifts for each of her sons when they had their girl last year.

This time around I decided to put together a special bag for each of the girls. The bags have small inexpensive things for them to do and a toy or two. I plan on giving it to them during the labor to help them keep busy and have something special to do. I also made matching big sis and lil sis shirts so they can have something special to share with their new sister.

But I don't think it is necessary to give a gift to make the kids feel not left out. Thoughtfully involving them in the day to day stuff with the new baby and giving them some one on one attention is so much more important.

[rightkindofme]

Well, 4/5 of my daughter's baby dolls have been hand-me-downs... many of them 30 years old. They have been slowly dying lately by having the seams burst and heads disconnect and such. She's down to two and one is an 18" and the other is a really tiny hand held one and she is expressing great distress at not having one that feels 'baby' sized to her (I guess 12" is a magical size) so she is getting a new doll when the baby arrives. It is technically already here, but I'm holding on to it until the day after new baby arrives. She also has a book called Baby Dear that is about a little girl getting a new doll when her baby sister arrives and my daughter loves it.

We have also gotten several books about becoming a new big sister (Babies Don't Eat Pizza and I'm Going to be a Big Sister!. She really likes both of them. I'm kind of shocked that they are marketed as being for 4-6 year olds and a lot of the Amazon reviews say they are way too advanced for a four year old. My two year old isn't having a problem with them at all... Those we've been reading for weeks in addition to watching home birth videos on youtube and extensive conversations about anatomy and where the baby will come from.

[buckeyedoc]

We also got books before DS#2 was born and have been reading them again: "I'm a Big Brother" (Joanna Cole) and "My New Baby" (Annie Kubler). "My New Baby" is a picture book, but it shows breastfeeding, while I think there are only bottles shown in "I'm a Big Brother". We have been talking a lot about breastfeeding, since even though both older boys were breastfed to about 1.5 years, they don't seem to consciously remember it. Even the older one doesn't seem to remember the younger one breastfeeding. They find it very interesting.

[MaerynPearl]

DDCC -

We involve the kids as much as possible, from helping us pick out outfits to buy to patterns for sheets on the crib to ... well... whatever! Obviously they do not get the big choices (which crib, which carseat, etc.) but any time there is a color/pattern choice involved we let them voice in.

We also let them voice their opinions on our names we chose. Because really, if one of the siblings disliked it or made fun of it... it probably was not going to be a good name. Of course, they didn't get to pick the names themselves, but we said... we want to name the baby Alexander or Maeryn, what do you think of those names?