Please tell me I'm not a bad mama!

[faithsstuff]

lol, if I am a bad one, at least tell me gently!

DS is 19 months old. Spirited out the wazoo, highly sensitive and a joyful spirit. We deal with most things in stride but keep coming up against food issues. He can't handle much lactose so he drinks lactaid and gets very little cheese, though he loves it. He's super sensitive to the texture of his food and I've found that he is consuming mostly processed foods at this point The only things I pretty much get him to eat on a regular basis is cereal bars (dh would easily let him eat 6 in a day) or mac n cheese. He won't eat anything rough/bumpy, anything with lumps, stringy or slick. He'll eat 2 bananas a day for 3 days then no more bananas for a week. Just keeping up with him is very hard, much less trying to anticipate his food needs.

So recently I've started giving him babyfood veggies and fruits. He likes it. I feel like a failure feeding him baby food at this age but I just don't know what to do!

[nadoja]

You are not a bad Mama! You are making sure he is fed and are reaching out for help!

If I were you, I would read or go to a healthcare professional and get some information on a balanced diet. From what you wrote, I don't see much protein in your childs diet. Perhaps incorporate some hummus, or creamy nut butter in his diet.

A blender may be your best friend in this situation, in that you can blend the lumpy foods to a creamy texture he likes. Smoothies may be a good choice for him too.

[Italiamom]

You're not a bad mama, you're not a bad mama, you're not a bad mama!!

The fact that he likes the baby-food veggies and fruits isn't bad. You're just trying to get him to eat. You know he likes the smooth texture, right? Maybe you could try a few yourself now... Cooked peas, sweet potatoes, carrots, squash, banana, etc, can all be blended to the smoothness your kiddo likes. Add a generous helping of coconut oil to add some nutrients and good fats, and add to the smooth consistency. Blending an avocado in there can also add good fats, and add some creaminess without adding lactose. Try blending some beans with olive oil, and I absolutely second hummus! It's one of my little guy's favorite foods. You can freeze things in ice cube trays and pop out a few each morning to thaw.

It's not as if he's eating a smooth food because of you or something you did wrong, he's eating it because it's what he prefers. Try worrying less about what he won't eat, and focus on meeting his needs based on what he will.

Deep breath, you're doing great.

[Violet2]

FYI supposedly you can make chocolate pudding out of avocado. Haven't tried it yet but it's on the experiment list.

Kids do what they do. Just do your best to make what he eats as healthy as it can be. I would not do storebought cereal bars--those aren't smooth and can actually be homemade healthier than storebought, kwim?

Organic greek yogurt is good. Kefir is good. Both have a decent amount of protein.

You are not a bad momma!
V

[lotus.blossom]

Can you make some stuff homemade? I know it can be a pain but if you take a block of time with no distractions you could make large batches of things that he will eat, such as soft granola bars, or a healthy mac and cheese with a veggie/meat puree in it? Put it in the freezer or even just make up enough for a few days at a time.

Smoothies with a milk alternative are a great idea! As are soups. You can run a chicken veggie soup through the blender and then he wouldn't have any issues with the texture!

[Belia]

You're not a bad mama! You're doing the best you can. Sounds good enough to me!

[rightkindofme]

I see nothing worth castigating you for. Your kid is having big problems with food and you are trying to figure out how to get some nutrition into him. Uhm, yeah... that's what you can do.

I had major food texture issues as a kid. My mom rolled with it and let me have what I wanted. I'm chunky now (that's less about what I eat and more about how much) but I've been in rather good health my whole life. Somehow children survive even when their diet is not the perfect crunchy whole foods organic stuff you see mandated around here.

[Comtessa]

Originally Posted by Violet2

FYI supposedly you can make chocolate pudding out of avocado. Haven't tried it yet but it's on the experiment list.

There's a recipe in the last issue of Mothering. Not the most recent issue, but the one before it. I haven't tried it yet either, avocados are too expensive around here right now!

You are NOT a bad mama!!!!! Pureed veggies are still veggies. The important thing is that he gets his nutrition. He'll grow out of it! Make your own purees for more nutrition, add plenty of good fats to them, and just keep offering him different tastes/textures all the time. He'll probably surprise you at some point.

I second the recommendation that you try to find homemade alternatives to storebought cereal bars -- those are really loaded with sugar, which probably isn't helping the food issues. Same with mac & cheese - are you making your own? Or making the stuff out of the box? If you make your own, with real cheese and real butter (and maybe sneak in some pureed spinach and carrots too), then it's not too terribly unhealthy. Monotonous, perhaps, as diets go, but it won't hurt him.

I wish I knew where I read the article about the kid who ate only white rice, white bread, eggs, and monkfish liver. It was great. I'll go online and try to find it.

In the meantime, you're doing great!

[faithsstuff]

thanks for the input! After looking at what he eats there isn't much protein and I'll definately try to bulk that up. My parents were visiting this weekend and bought a dozen doughnuts for breakfast the last day. My mother kept sneaking him doughnuts and I think he ate about 2 Another reason he's hard to feed is that he's always on the go and picks here and there, but rarely eats. Thanks for the ideas and support!

[pantrygirl]

You are not a bad mama, mama.



Heck, you are a good mama finding ways to give your kid something nutritious.

My daughter is 2 years old and goes through phases. Yes to chicken. No to chicken. Yes to salmon. No to salmon.

The only thing she will eat without blinking is baked squash with carrots and apples and tiny pasta.

This is what she ate as a baby.
It's what she eats now when she refuses everything else.

I think at this age it's all about adapting and change. One week he'll be banana crazy. The next he wants nothing to do with bananas.

My doctor said as long as she's getting good food, she doesn't care that it's sort of mushy.

It makes my life harder because I can't just give her a couple of pieces of chopped apple and need to bake it to soften it but the doctor said to relax and keep trying to offer her foods and one day it will click.

[anyalily]

Just dropping in so I haven't read all the other responses, but we have a helluva time with our 2yo. I just got a book called the Sneaky Chef and it is genius. My LO pretty much only likes (reliably) macaroni, spaghetti, quesadillas and pizza. So, with this book I've snuck in all sort of veggies in the form of purees. Seh actually likes the taste even more and there is no texture change.

This book is awesome!

She also loves the cocoa pancakes that have spinach and blueberry pureed into them and I make them with carob. Yay!

You are not a failure. You are a loving parent doing your best! You just need some more tools.

[swd12422]

OMG, at 18 months I was THRILLED if DS would eat, well, anything! He never liked purees so baby food was out. We tried "real" solids and he did okay with one or two things for a month or so, and then would eat NOTHING. So we had to start all over with baby food and soft things til we could figure out what he would eat. It didn't take him long to get over most of the texture issues and really start eating. I think you're doing great if he's eating fruits and veggies. So what if they're pureed?

[justKate]

Originally Posted by swd12422

OMG, at 18 months I was THRILLED if DS would eat, well, anything! He never liked purees so baby food was out. We tried "real" solids and he did okay with one or two things for a month or so, and then would eat NOTHING. So we had to start all over with baby food and soft things til we could figure out what he would eat. It didn't take him long to get over most of the texture issues and really start eating. I think you're doing great if he's eating fruits and veggies. So what if they're pureed?

I hear ya. DD will eat: pasta, cheese, tortillas, and bananas. Lately I've been using baby food (Earth's Best, Summer Vegetable Dinner) as pasta sauce. It's one of the better tasting ones, IMO...

[Heavenly]

I'd recommend the book The Sneaky Chef. It is all about hiding really nutritious stuff in foods that your kids will actually eat. Some people think you shouldn't hide food but I say desperate times call for desperate measures.

[NiteNicole]

My daughter eats everything. The best way I found to get her to do this? Try to sit down and eat it yourself without serving them any. They can't stand it. I swear if I tried to sneak around and eat a pile of dirt, she would sniff me out and eat it all just because if Mommy has it, it must be better.

[swd12422]

Originally Posted by NiteNicole

My daughter eats everything. The best way I found to get her to do this? Try to sit down and eat it yourself without serving them any. They can't stand it. I swear if I tried to sneak around and eat a pile of dirt, she would sniff me out and eat it all just because if Mommy has it, it must be better.

This is so true! When DS was refusing to eat, he'd take bites of my food from me, but if I even broke off a little chunk of whatever and put it on his plate, he wouldn't eat it.

[lisavark]

You are not a bad mama AT ALL. I have a friend whose son is 2.5--actually older than that; he'll turn 3 in 3 months--and she still gives him baby food. He doesn't have any food issues, either. Just a normal picky eater toddler. But, for instance, he loves ketchup--if she gives him ketchup for dipping he'll eat just that and nothing else--so she mixes baby food with the ketchup so he's getting some veggies and actual food. She gives him fruit baby food mixed with yogurt for dessert. He loves it.

I've thought about trying it for my 2.5 year old, but she's a really good eater so I'd feel silly... But really, I've thought about it just for the convenience of having snacks that I can keep in my purse all the time and that won't go bad other than cheerios and peanuts. I used to keep dried fruit all the time, but she doesn't like that any more, so she ends up eating a lot of cheerios when we're out and about.

I honestly don't think there's anything at all wrong with giving older kids baby food. It's pretty healthy stuff--a lot more healthy than a lot of things my toddler wants to eat!

Oh, but I also just saw that you said he eats here and there a lot, and I wanted to suggest getting a toddler table for him, too. My daughter eats SO much more since we got her her own table. Seriously. Plus it's super easy for me to just leave food out for her and she can pick at it all day if she wants to.

Also, he's pretty young still. At 19 months my DD hardly ate anything but breastmilk. Now she eats everything. She eats stuff *I* won't touch, like spicy foods and weird fish things that DH likes...