Mediocre at Work.... Help?

[imamomx2]

Hi Mamas...

I'm seeking some wisdom from all of you working mothers out there. I've been wohm for two years now, and to be blunt - I feel like I'm mediocre at my job. I work three days a week, and on my off days, I'm a mom, and don't think twice about work.

I put in my time, and I do an okay job, but I know that I could be better. I think great would require more hours devoted to it, and more emotional energy that I don't want to give it now. The thought of quitting altogether crosses my mind often, but boy, it's hard to leave a job in this economy (though financially we would be fine, just not as well off as we are now).

Have any of you mamas been in my position? How do you handle it? Just quit? Or hang in there? I'm so torn....

[desertgirl01]

I think I surpass mediocrity and basically suck at my job. I should quit. I'm hanging in there because we can't afford for me to quit, it's a good job, but man, I'm certainly not a shining star. This job has got some great perks to it, I try to come in every morning excited about work and projects, but I have some sort of work haze that attacks me as soon as I get in the door!

I don't have any advice for you (I'm mired down trying to figure out what I should do), but to tell you, no--you're not alone!

[Sierra]

I think the emotional energy is a big issue for parents. I am lucky to work in a field in which a lot of my home life ties in well to the work I do and vice versa. That's helpful. But there are times when my emotional energy for my work runs low too. I said on another thread that I often feel I am either failing at work or at home, and I find "balance" to be elusive. I just swing like a pendulum from one to the other.

I've decided to spend the next few years in school, and I will be starting that with one class this fall (while continuing to work) and then full time the following year. I may still have to work in addition to school, but I am trying to downsize my life so that I don't have to work in my career and can do something that I don't have to "take home" with me on any level. I want to go to work and come home, without the two being so mixed up. I think it will help to buy myself these few years while my kids are still fairly young (though I will probably have more kids later, which is a whole other can of worms). My kids are 4 and 5 right now.

School is a job too, though, and I am a perfectionist, so hopefully I won't suck at it. I guess my thinking is that a change of pace is my best option right now.

[laurabfig]

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[laurabfig]

I was just talking to dh the other day about how I've had to let go of alot of my own expectations for where I thought I would be at his point in my career. I know I am good at what I do, but when the stress starts to pile on, I try to let work suffer more than my family. Yes though, I do feel mediocre at my job a lot of the time, because I just don't put in the extra work right now to be truly excellent. And that is ok- I figure in twenty years when the kids are grown I'll have plenty of time to pour myself into work if I want to do that. I just don't want to right now.
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[Aquitane]

While I think I do an excellent job at work, I have put some career aspirations on hold. So it's not exactly like what you are saying OP, but there is some similarity.

I always kind of thought that one day I might be a district curriculum director or even do something at the state level. (I'm a teacher.) But I've just decided that focusing on the job at hand is the most I can do.

I really want to get National Board Certification, but it involves a lot of extra work and $$. I already do extra work, so I've put this off too.

I think that all moms do what they can to make the best of their situation. In the end, a lot of us end up giving up some things that we wanted to once do. My kids are 11 and 7, so I know that in a few years, I might be able to focus on those things I passed by.

[That Is Nice]

Originally Posted by imamomx2

Hi Mamas...

I'm seeking some wisdom from all of you working mothers out there. I've been wohm for two years now, and to be blunt - I feel like I'm mediocre at my job. I work three days a week, and on my off days, I'm a mom, and don't think twice about work.

I put in my time, and I do an okay job, but I know that I could be better. I think great would require more hours devoted to it, and more emotional energy that I don't want to give it now. The thought of quitting altogether crosses my mind often, but boy, it's hard to leave a job in this economy (though financially we would be fine, just not as well off as we are now).

Have any of you mamas been in my position? How do you handle it? Just quit? Or hang in there? I'm so torn....

Wow. You are speaking my language. I have these internal questions going through my head all the time.

I've also been back to work for two years now after taking two years off with my child and working about a decade before that full time.

Compared to how I was as a go-getter employee prior to having a child, I often feel mediocre.

Not only that, but I'm certain I look mediocre. I don't have the focus or energy, and I'm slow to respond in meetings. I usually have to respond "I'll get back to you on that." I just don't have the time to read as much during the evenings or other time to be up to full speed at work. Let's face it - in my field not much work gets done at work. It's mostly meetings. So I often have to stay up really late - 2 am or 3 am is not unusual - to get real work done on real projects. Or I get up early. 5 am is not unusual at all.

Also, I lack sleep. I'm harried running to and from daycare, and I can't work late or come in early due to daycare hours. I'm not a go-to employee. I am definitely mediocre. If I were my own boss, I'd have problems with me!!

I always have issues when travel for work comes up. Travel for work is HARD. I do it, but I don't do it that well, and it's always a struggle. Every time I want to just quit and go home. Every time.

Now, I've not had a bad review. I try to make up for my mediocrity by pounding out performance during the wee hours of the morning and meeting all deadlines and expectations. But I'm not on a promotion track, that's for sure. I can't handle what I have!

I feel like throwing in the towel pretty much once a day.

Then I console myself by reminding myself it won't be like this forever (I hope). Some day it will be better. I hope. I hope. I hope. ...when my child is older. Thank God I have only one child. I don't think my career could take more than one, as much as I might have liked to have had more, if other things had worked out.

[GuildJenn]

I have months like that too.

On the plus side, I'm better at decision making (and a lot of my job is decisions). I can prioritize. But on the minus side sometimes I just don't push through everything the way I used to.

What Sierra said about emotional energy really rings true to me.

[That Is Nice]

Originally Posted by Sierra

I said on another thread that I often feel I am either failing at work or at home, and I find "balance" to be elusive. I just swing like a pendulum from one to the other.

Yeah.

Me, too.

Definitely. Me, too.

[KSLaura]

IMO, there's nothing wrong with mediocre! Unless you are running a country, or finding a cure for cancer, I would assume that you are paid to show up and work. I'm sure you're not the only one who could be doing more. Do what's right for your family, but definately don't feel guilty about not working hard enough. I work with all men(mostly single with no kids), and they definately don't work as hard as they could/should. At least as working moms, we know that our extra time and energy goes towards raising children!

[EnchantedMamma]

I often felt the same. I tried (on and off) to do what I could when inspiration struck. Whenever I had some free brain cells I would try to think of what was the best use of my time to do my job better.

I guess it paid off. I got a raise

So don't undervalue yourself. I understand that it might not feel optimal for you, but the very fact that you CARE is more than some people give to their job.

Seek out small ways to constantly make improvements and you will be worth what they pay you

[major_mama11]

I often feel like the queen of mediocrity! Maybe I'm not as bad as I feel; my last performance review was actually really good. But now I've switched departments so I feel like I've started all over again at square one.

I study up on my days off, whenever I have a chance. Hopefully I will be less sleep deprived in a few months.

[imamomx2]

Thanks, Mamas. I work with women who have raised their children already, and can focus solely on their career. I just feel like I don't even begin to compare to them - and that feeling sucks.

I had vacation last week, so hopefully it's what I needed to recharge my battery. Of course I was up most of the night thinking of all the things on the to do list for work. Ugh.

[zuzunel09]

Responding to an older thread...I feel that since having my son and being sort of tossed back into working, I have no stomach for my job anymore. It's not just the field I'm in, with its demanding clientele and toll on my body...my heart and mind are just always back at home with my son. I usually cry and have extreme anxiety on the way to work because I think something will happen to him. It's difficult to have your heart divided...I guess we just try our best to do our jobs as well as we can.

[SpartyGuard]

I can so relate to this!!

I just have no motivation to do my job. I try to tell myself that if I have to be here and away from DD, I might as well focus on it and do it well. It just doesn't work out that way.

I'm very fortunate to have a manager that is VERY flexible and accomodating to me having a child and I feel horrible that I don't really return the favor by giving her my best work.

[poppan]

I have a really selfish viewpoint... I think if you don't like being at work and don't need the paycheck, it's OK to quit. But if you like having that paycheck (not need it, just like it) and your work seems to be OK with your "mediocre" output, then good enough is good enough and I certainly wouldn't quit over it. I'd let them lay me off one day if I'm truly that mediocre. (But you never know--I really think at least 50% of any company is pretty mediocre and they might not look at you as harshly as you look at yourself. I'm totally Type A and a perfectionist so I can relate to the feeling of not putting in my best--look at me, I'm on MDC instead of working--but apparently my work is good enough for them to keep me around, and I like the paycheck, so I'm sticking around until / unless they kick me out.)

[chipper26]

I just started back, but I have to say that I am worried about the same thing. THere is just not enough time in the work day to do the job right and I am not devoting my "mommy time" to work.

I hope I can be more efficient at work, but I just don't know if even that will cut it.