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14 mo old on verge of "failure to thrive" diagnosis - Page 3

post #41 of 75
my kids tend to be high birth weight then drop to 5-10 per percentile. some babies are just lean. ds1 is 11 and 75 lbs. ds2 is 5 and 35 lbs and dd is 6 months and 14 lbs. i actually stopped taking ds2 to well baby visis because the dr was wanting me to bring him in weekly due to his low weight and i thought that it was absurd
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post #42 of 75
Originally Posted by lkmiscnet View Post
He does support his weight when I hold him up usually. I just think he didn't do it at the ped's office because he was so upset and just wanted me to hold him, so of course he didn't want to "perform" and even try to walk with my guiding him. He just kind of dragged his feet.

Again, I think that's my fault for not giving him opportunities to try. So many things to remember to do with them! I just can't stay on top of it...

My DH was the one that put him behind the push toy to see if he would walk the other night and who knew that our son would LOVE it. He goes back and forth with it. I thought it would take off in front of him and he would fall forward. I guess I didn't see the signs that he was ready to attempt that, even though he does a lot of cruising.
Oh, he cruises? In that case, frankly, he sounds totally normal to me except the weight. Totally. I know other kids that are very slim (though not under the 5th % to be honest).

The whole milestones thing around one year is hard because averages belie the fact that it is well within normal to walk any time between 9 months and 18 months of age, or start speaking any time between 9 and 24 months!
post #43 of 75
I have a 2 yo (23 lbs and below the 10%) born 7 weeks early. He didn't start walking at all until 17 months. He had no words at all by one year. Our ped at about a year old started giving me a hard time about his weight. In our situation, I feel the doctor was pressuring us to keep up with some arbitrary guideline without taking into consideration prematurity and genetics.

We took ds to see a pediatric gastro. He told us there was nothing wrong with ds's weight. We haven't given it a second thought since then. Everytime we see our ped, she mentions ds's weight. I just ignore her.

My point is: I would seek a second opinion.
post #44 of 75
Oh mama,

I'm sorry you've had such a rough time. We had a bit of that too, with an induction a week early (concerns with less fetal water and possible kidney or bladder problems in baby), baby was totally fine. Then breastfeeding issues, gaining issues, tiny baby, push for early solids etc.

I think what you really need is to step back. Look at the situation from a distance. Your child is following a curve. He isn't losing weight. He isn't dropping on the curve. He is tiny but fine! (And with the ribs, I've known at least 3 very skinny, but healthy babies, and ribs do show, they have skinny little legs, and DD didn't properly fit in newborn size cloth nappies until she was nearly 9 months old - skinny bottom!) I started calling DD "petite" at one point, as that is more positive.

The more you stress with food, the more he will resist, because meals are stressful to him too. In your shoes I would actually step back on the foods issue, breastfeed as often as possible, and just offer food whenever you eat. Let him join you at the table with no pressure to eat. Allow him to sit in your lap if he wants to, or in his chair, allow him to eat from your plate. Just make food pleasant. Sit down together and enjoy food. Show him that you like it. Let him play with the food.

My concern is, your child is growing now, so he must be eating what he needs (remember, the best thing is for a child to stay on his curve, not suddenly jump two curves down - or up!). But the more you stress around meals, the more problems may be arising in the future. The little boy I looked after, the one who was premature and very small, lost quite a bit of weight soon before I started there when he was nearly two, and by then had severe food issues, aversions, couldn't touch a lot of food, was almost frightened of eating. It took almost a year to get him to enjoy eating - and show hunger even longer, he was over 3 1/2 when he came home from Kindy (pre school) and said "I'm hungry" the first time. He had never shown signs of hunger before that.

Do get a second opinion. I suspect you are right, your child is skinny but fine.
post #45 of 75
I didn't read all the posts but I just wanted to add that def you should eat more fat. If you can't stomach organic, grass fed meat. Drink whole milk, butter, coconut oil, oilve oil, fish oil/ fish/ eggs, cheese.
I just read this book and found it really helpful
The one of mother and baby talks alot about the role of healthy fat in a childs diet and in a pregnant/ nursing mom's diet.
My son is in the 5% for weight and 2% for height. I add flax seed oil to use whole milk yogurt, butter or olive oil to add the cooked veggies/rice/pasta/beans that he eats. Lots of cheese.
But yes increasing your fat intake can increase the fat intake to your milk.
post #46 of 75
I'm sorry, that's scary. I have had two FTT babies--my oldest was perfectly normal percentage-wise, my second DD was 16 pounds 14 oz at 13 months, and my son was 16 pounds 3.5 oz at a year. With my DD, her doctor was panicking and recommending ridiculous things (like weaning, and giving him Pediasure, adding butter & ice cream to everything, etc) but we switched pediatricians and found out she had food allergies. DS was the same way--born at 8lbs1oz, at 12 months he was 16 lbs 3.5 oz. His pedi was great, never panicked at all, just had him tested for food allergies, which he has tons of, and we're dealing with those.

There is no need to add unhealthy fats to his diet, but adding healthy ones is a good idea. Coconut oil/milk, olive oil, peanut or sunflower butter, flax seed oil or meal, avocado, and some whole milk products like cheese, cottage cheese, yogurt, etc are all healthy fats.
post #47 of 75
are you offering him only pureed foods or foods with a smooth texture (avocado, banana, etc)? maybe he'd do well with more texture - my sons weren't interested in eating purees at that age. how about nutritious crackers, whole grain toast with butter? will he eat pasta? you can do whole wheat or they make these blends of whole wheat and beans, too - with butter and steamed veggies, or with a little milk and shredded cheese mixed in, or whatever... this is an easy meal that he may like better than the jars. quesadillas are fast and easy too, add chopped veggies or beans. for breakfast i make pancakes a LOT. so easy, 1 1/2 cup whole wheat flour, 1 3/4 cup whole milk, 2 eggs, 1 1/2 tsp baking powder, 1/2 tsp salt, a swig of agave, a dash of flaxseed meal. a smidge of real maple syrup may entice him to eat them - or add a little extra milk and they're thin like blinis - roll w/nut butter for a protein bomb. whole wheat bagel w/cream cheese (mix in chopped spinach if you want)?

just some ideas - treat yourself gently mama - you will get to the bottom of it!
post #48 of 75
My son wasn't premature, and he gained well the first year, but after one year, he still wasn't eating very much and he only gained 5 oz between 15 and 18 months. He still wouldn't eat a whole lot, but I started making smoothies for him with full fat yogurt, fruits, coconuts, either soy or cow milk, and some other kind of nut butter like peanut or almond butter. His weight went back up. I suggest giving your son lots of high fat foods, including meats and eggs. I was a vegan for 3 years and the diet ruined my health. I think you have to be too careful as a vegetarian/vegan to get the nutrients you need. Protein, iron, B vitamins, zinc, vitamin A are all easier to assimilate when they come from meats. Sorry! Please feel free to ignore if you are offended!

ETA: DS didn't walk unti he was a year and a half. Don't stress over the walking thing.
post #49 of 75
Originally Posted by LadyCatherine185 View Post
It really rubs me the wrong way that your ped would suggest that you may have caused him brain damage by BF'ing and not forcing solids on him.
Forcing solids?! Paleese! Has your ped ever tried to force feed a toddler?
I have a similar approach to feeding as a few other mamas, we call it grazing. I will make DS a meal, which he just over turns on the table. Then while we are watching a movie or cleaning or whatever, I will keep the plate near me so DS can 'graze' when he comes by. If I can get three crackers and a chunk or avocado in him in a day I'm thrilled.

I see where you can be concerned, but you just can't make a person eat! Someone told me once there are two battles you are never going to win, when and what kids eat, and when they potty. You just have to give lots of opportunities with high quality foods!

Good luck! I will be stalking for other mamas ideas, I have a bird like eater too.
post #50 of 75
FWIW, I have known about 5 moms who had teeny tiny toddlers, and who stressed about it and were pressured like crazy about it by their peds, and all of them are older now and all of them are FINE. Some are still tiny and some are not. One of them did have undiagnosed food allergies, though. I would look into that.

(It seems weird to me that I have had so many good friends with tiny kids, btw. They were all BF babies and all lived in households where they ate a healthy, whole foods diet. I think maybe BF babies sometimes do really differently in terms of weight in toddlerhood.)

ETA that I agree about trying food with texture. Neither of my kids were at all interested in purees at that age. BTW, I did have a very skinny baby for a while and I swear what brought his weight up was Stonyfield Farms full-fat vanilla yogurt.
post #51 of 75

Some Ideas

didn't have time to read all the other posts but I feel for you Mama! Don't let a doctor's label make you feel bad as a mom. We all do our best all the time, and you can pull through this with your little one. He has not failed, and neither have you.

I would suggest trying to up his fatty food intake. Some things that helped us through a period of weight loss for my little one were: avocado, coconut milk (not the watered down kind with sugar added - the pure cream with lots of great medium chain fats which are healthy and hard to find elsewhere, great mixed with yogurt too), mixing milled flax powder into anything he would eat or sprinkling it on, drizzling olive oil on veges or pasta, and cashew and almond butter, cream cheese. He didn't really like lots of foods, but we found that he loved puffed wheat cereal (the cheap kind in a bag rather than a box) so we would put a puff on a bite of anything else we wanted him to eat. We basically spent all our time with him trying to get him to eat, and I nursed all night long up until he was about 27 months old (2-5 times per night depending on his interest). I know it is hard, but you can do it! Whenever you are giving him food, think about how you can up the calories with a bit of olive oil, flax powder, cream cheese, coconut milk, etc.
post #52 of 75
I posted a couple of days ago but apparently the computer ate my thoughts... Anyway, quickly, I don't know much to help you with the medical side of things but I had a couple of quick thoughts about the ways that I get healthy fats into my toddler.

She HATED eggs (after loving them as an infant) and I finally realized one day when I was eating a poached egg on toast and she wanted some that she didn't like the eggs fully cooked. I was scrambling them or frying them hard or hard boiling them because I didn't want to give her runny yolks yet but she ate almost my entire piece of toast soaked in egg yolk from my poached egg. She still won't eat very much of the whites but one of her favorite breakfasts is poached egg on buttered toast where you let the bread get all yolk-y and then she gets the benefits of the yolk. It totally depends on your comfort level with soft-cooked eggs.

Also I make oatmeal alot for her and I mix it with butter and cream or whole milk or whole milk yogurt. I should also do things like put ground flax in but I always forget.

Anyway- I don't know if either of these suggestions help I just wanted to throw them out there. mama.
post #53 of 75
My DD is just 20 lbs at 23 months old, and our doctor is still a little worried. She started gaining slower at 6 months and has been under the 3% curve for awhile. We were referred to a ped. and he said that as long as she is gaining and pooping that we shouldn't be worried.
Have you tried many chunkier foods? at 14 months, DD was eating cubes of cheese, cut up soft fruit (like ripe pears, peaches, bananas etc) and soft meats like chicken, tuna. DD refused to eat purees, so she didn't really start to eat anything significant until she had 6 teeth. She didn't get her molars until 20 months. Maybe your child has an aversion to the texture of purees. It's worth a try. IT's really amazing what they can chew/ mash in their mouth with only 6 teeth. well done pasta and soft toast are also good for getting carbs in your LO. We also feed DD cream soups with crackers crushed up in it. Just some ideas.
post #54 of 75
First, I feel for you going through this. Having a nephew that just would not eat, I know how sad/frustrated/worried my sister was trying to get food into her son who just refused.

When I started foods with my now 15 mo old dd, I bought organic butter, organic ghee and organic coconut oil. I make sure she gets some of this on something each day. She won't eat her pureed beets without butter.

My dd is 85% height and 25% weight and only gained 1lb 4 ounces from 12 to 15 months. However, my dd is walking/jogging, so I know she is burning off calories.

There is a Carlson's Children's DHA supplement
I'd use these and cut them open and put the liquid in the food.
post #55 of 75
Is it bad that I let my kids just eat butter? Not the three-year-old--it's served on bread--but the baby. I don't think that's bad. They need it!
post #56 of 75
What are your reasons for vegetarianism? Is it just the killing of animals in general, or does it have to do with the inhumane ways that animals are killed? I ask because, you could always buy some organic grass fed beef or liver and hide that in stuff. Either that, or you could make bone broths out of cow bones. They are full of minerals and nutrients that your little one needs. I would also really try and get some eggs into him (preferably free range organic). He's going to get some vitamins and minerals from veggies and fruits, but I would really try to focus on getting those good fats into his body. Organic, whole milk, cook with grass fed or organic butter, coconut oil, etc. His brain needs it!
post #57 of 75
Thread Starter 
I have been adding coconut oil and/or olive oil to his meals, as well as a fish oil supplement. I also add ground flaxseed to his morning breakfast of full fat yogurt with applesauce.

He does eat soft textured foods like avocado. In fact, I just started cutting the avocado into chunks because he seems to like to self feed them.

I think I misunderstood "pureed" to be smooth foods, like hummus, which I have actually been feeding him as well. So, he is beyond pureed textures, though I still have a frozen stash of purees to finish up.

I have also tried some whole wheat spiral pasta (which he enjoyed feeding to ME)! He did try a few himself.

He still loves cantaloupe chunks and watermelon (though I try to not let him eat too much melon since it's mostly water).

Oh, and dining out recently, I learned that he loves salmon, as I fed him some chunks of mine. So, I need to start making that a couple of times a week.

So, I think with the added fats, he should hopefully add some more weight.

I am still struggling to get him to drink up whole milk from his sippy cup. He drinks water, so I tried to do a 50/50 mix of water and milk. He did seem to take a few more sips, but he's not guzzling it like I had hoped.

I have also tried scrambling eggs and making them hardboiled and he doesn't seem to like the texture. He puts it in his mouth and then promptly spits it out or throws it on the floor. I took some of the scrambled egg and put tiny pieces into a mash I made of beans and sweet potato and was able to disguise it enough to get him to eat some, but it took a while.

Usually I have to resort to some trickery to get him to finish a meal. For example, he'll eat applesauce, so I take a spoonful of the mash that I want him to eat and then pretend to dip it into the applesauce bowl or I actually have to dip it (yuck, what a conconction!). Then I alternate with a spoonful of all applesauce. Sigh...some meals are taking an hour, but I do get him to finish what I'm serving or close to it. I know not to force it, though I do try to get him to take "one more bite", and if he does, he usually will take a few more, so I keep going and we repeat the cycle until I know he won't take one more bite.

It doesn't help that I'm not much of a cook (I can do it, but it doesn't come naturally to me as it does my own mom). It just takes so much time and I don't want to spend 2 hours in the kitchen prepping, cooking and then cleaning, while my son is wide awake and ready for interaction (not to mention having to keep an eye on him). I struggle daily with what to make for dinner for my DH and son.

I eat only organic foods and don't like to use "convenience" foods like frozen dinners, so most meals have to be made from scratch. I don't know how I'm going to manage when our DS is older. I have no idea how my mom was able to work sometimes double shifts when we were growing up, raise two kids, and get meals on the table (main dish, side and dessert to boot)! Hmm...no wonder Hamburger Helper was popular back then!

I'm all for just one big main dish for dinner with no sides, no dessert. It's just too much to juggle otherwise (at least for me).

My DS is not going to have fond memories of any of my cooking, that's for sure. It's not that it tastes bad, but it's not like my mom used to do. Sigh...
post #58 of 75
Have tried sweet potato fries? you can make them or buy them ( organic) frozen. I also make pancakes w/ pumpkin & a dash of cinnamon. Butter them and add just a little maple syrup. I make batch and freeze some for later.
post #59 of 75
Ok ... I am not sure how much my words are going to resonate but I just have put it out there and you can take it or leave it depending on how you feel. I just can't understand how weighing 18lbs at 14 months is on the verge of FTT!!! My daughter was nowhere near the recommended 25lbs at that age and in fact she just turned two and probably weighs only 22 or 23 lbs.

I just really get the sense that there is not a real threat for FTT here. I think that your son just has his own way of growing and developing. What is your sense as his mother?? Do you get the feeling that there is something wrong? Does he interact with you in his own way? Does he play and get interested in the things and people around him? Does he observe?

I have no professional background so this is all my opinion but I get the feeling that your worrying and stressing out about food may only turn him off further and I wonder if you would be able to relax a little and trust your sons process. I often wonder what we would do if we didn't take our kids to the doctor early on ... would we be doing the same things? worried so much? would our children grow just fine? I believe that modern medicine has its place but I also believe that it can be truly detrimental in undermining our own intuition and relationship with our own bodies as well as our children.

I am writing these things just as a reminder to trust. Sit quietly and listen to your inner voice. I do hope that you find a solution that works for you and your son.

Best of luck,
post #60 of 75
Just to let you know, we just had the Well Child nurse here today, and she weighed DD, who with clothes weighed 11.92 kg (26.2 lbs). She's now halfway between the 15th and 50th percentiles !

At 15 months, as I've just checked in her baby book, she was 8.53 kg (18.7 lbs) and was just below the 15th percentile. And by then NOBODY was worried about her anymore, she was obviously growing, slowly and consistently at the bottom of her chart.

As a fellow mother of a small child (and one that WAS at one point diagnosed as FTT), from your description (and unless you haven't told us that your son used to be 50th percentile and has since dropped down to around the 15th or slightly below), I can't see how your child is FTT.

As for him not walking yet or other motor development issues, check out this page at WHO:


Download "Percentile and means in days and months". I find that so useful when people indicate your child is late at something. Only 50% of healthy children walk by 12 months. I think that at least gives some perspective.

For what it is worth, DD ate much less at that age (not counting breastmilk). And she eats great now, only thing the nurse could worry about was that DD's currently refusing beans, but she said not to worry anyway, that it would sort itself out.

I do think, like pp, that your son will know that you are trying to trick him into eating more than he wants, and that you are worried about food. And it is likely to be stressing him to. He may very well react in the only way he can to gain control: By refusing to eat.

Point is, I think your son is probably gaining just as well as he should, and eating what he needs, and what you really need is to stop stressing about it. Try to make mealtimes fun times instead. Model good eating habits, show him you enjoy food, sit down together as a family, talk about pleasant things, listen to classical music or something like it, light candles, set the table together... Make food enjoyable. He might enjoy helping you prepare a meal (in any way he can). If you can get him to think food is great and mealtimes are FUN, most of the battle is won. And it won't be a battle then, anyway.
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