I had to respond to this thread, because I am just like you, and I have had two natural births. I think that for me, the key was having a care provider I trusted and laboring at home. (My first birth was in a hospital but I was well into active labor by the time I got there).
Unlike MegBoz, though, I was NOT lucid during active labor. I can't account for her story, but when I read yours I thought, it was likely the pitocin that threw a wrench into the natural process. My understanding is that the natural labor process releases powerful painkilling chemicals in your brain (esp oxytocin) that don't allow you to feel pain to the extent you would without them. Because pitocin goes directly into the bloodstream and does not go through the brain, you don't get that "high." That's all I can compare it to, being high.
Like a number of other responders, I also labor alone. I don't want to talk to anyone, I don't want or need anyone touching me, I just go inside my head and do my thing (mainly rocking back and forth and vocalizing). I can answer basic questions if I have to, but I can't hold a conversation. All of this DESPITE being a highly anxious, worrywart, type A personality. In fact, the day before my second son's birth, in fact a few hours before early labor started, I had a total breakdown about the fact that he was posterior. And then the whole thing turned out fine -- once I was in labor, I didn't have the ability to get in my own way anymore.
I didn't consciously do anything in order to have this happen -- it was involuntary. As long as those contractions are coming, I can't overthink anything. Now, in my first labor, I had stops and starts, and I did start thinking during one of the stops (ctx had slowed to every 15 min) and got very discouraged -- this was after laboring for 12 hrs. At that point I went in to my midwife's office to be checked, and she told me I was at 6. From that moment, with that encouragement, my labor picked back up, and an hour later at the hospital I was totally out of it (thank goodness ... more on that in a minute).
My "thing" about labor and birth is that I am terrified of interventions. Having a C-section is one of my worst fears in the world. Having something done to me without consent -- like amniotomy, episiotomy, vaginal exams -- scares the hell out of me. So, that's why having midwives was so important for me ... and I had my second at home, and I think that helped me too. This is not to say you should have a midwife or give birth at home, just to say that feeling safe and respected and listened to, wherever that may be, is, in my view, extremely important to being able to relax in labor.
Hope this is somewhat helpful. Hypnobabies was not for me, to weigh in on that question -- I cannot suspend disbelief like that, it's a little new agey for me. I wish that it was something I could get into, because it sounds great! But like others above, I found Birthing from Within more helpful. And also the Sears Birth Book -- for me, knowing what was going on, having facts and numbers in front of me, was comforting. But I am a nerd that way!
Unlike MegBoz, though, I was NOT lucid during active labor. I can't account for her story, but when I read yours I thought, it was likely the pitocin that threw a wrench into the natural process. My understanding is that the natural labor process releases powerful painkilling chemicals in your brain (esp oxytocin) that don't allow you to feel pain to the extent you would without them. Because pitocin goes directly into the bloodstream and does not go through the brain, you don't get that "high." That's all I can compare it to, being high.
Like a number of other responders, I also labor alone. I don't want to talk to anyone, I don't want or need anyone touching me, I just go inside my head and do my thing (mainly rocking back and forth and vocalizing). I can answer basic questions if I have to, but I can't hold a conversation. All of this DESPITE being a highly anxious, worrywart, type A personality. In fact, the day before my second son's birth, in fact a few hours before early labor started, I had a total breakdown about the fact that he was posterior. And then the whole thing turned out fine -- once I was in labor, I didn't have the ability to get in my own way anymore.
I didn't consciously do anything in order to have this happen -- it was involuntary. As long as those contractions are coming, I can't overthink anything. Now, in my first labor, I had stops and starts, and I did start thinking during one of the stops (ctx had slowed to every 15 min) and got very discouraged -- this was after laboring for 12 hrs. At that point I went in to my midwife's office to be checked, and she told me I was at 6. From that moment, with that encouragement, my labor picked back up, and an hour later at the hospital I was totally out of it (thank goodness ... more on that in a minute).
My "thing" about labor and birth is that I am terrified of interventions. Having a C-section is one of my worst fears in the world. Having something done to me without consent -- like amniotomy, episiotomy, vaginal exams -- scares the hell out of me. So, that's why having midwives was so important for me ... and I had my second at home, and I think that helped me too. This is not to say you should have a midwife or give birth at home, just to say that feeling safe and respected and listened to, wherever that may be, is, in my view, extremely important to being able to relax in labor.
Hope this is somewhat helpful. Hypnobabies was not for me, to weigh in on that question -- I cannot suspend disbelief like that, it's a little new agey for me. I wish that it was something I could get into, because it sounds great! But like others above, I found Birthing from Within more helpful. And also the Sears Birth Book -- for me, knowing what was going on, having facts and numbers in front of me, was comforting. But I am a nerd that way!
That's how freaky-in-my-head that I am.
) that the only way I could have decent pain medication was if I got a shot, I said no. My mom could have killed me. 
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