refusing internals while pregnant. dr is really mad - Page 2

[vulnerable]

Originally Posted by AllyRae

If he has a big concern, can you suggest that he do an ultrasound? You can check cervix lenth somewhat with an ultrasound.

Had two already this pregnancy because I am "high risk". Everything on those came back perfect as well.

[Plaid Leopard]

Originally Posted by vulnerable

Wow thank you guys so much for all the positive replies! It makes me feel so much better and I will take what you said and use it at my appointment. Wish I could bring you with me lol!!

I really appreciate it, I was about to cancel yet another appointment but instead I will go and say what I have to say. Thanks so much again!

Honestly what really is the purpose of internals anyway? I had a pap less than a year ago as is. Oh well thanks again!

I hope all goes well at your appointment. Good luck!

[Just1More]

You've already gotten some great advice and support, and I just wanted to add one more voice of validation. This is not something you have to do. And it's not something he can make you do. And it is wrong for him to even imply such.

[jenifera2]

It may (or may not) be helpful to push the questioning after the answer, "I just want to know what's going on in there." More than once I've asked my midwife to explain what the possible outcomes of a given test could be, and how each of those outcomes might affect our course of action during my pregnancy.

You can ask him what types of things he's looking for "in there" and how any of those results would change what you would do care-wise. Also specifically press him to describe the risks he perceives if you skip these exams. If he can't clearly articulate risks to you or baby, that should make it easier to say no.

Or getting a new doctor is always an option.

Do the midwife groups in your state work with OB practices or independently? If they work with OB practices, it might be worth talking to one of those OBs that is willing to partner with midwives. I'd guess, and maybe I'm wrong, that they have a more natural view of pregnancy than the average OB.

[eclipse]

Originally Posted by Arduinna

If he knows and is behaving this way with you I'd get a new Dr. It's completely unacceptable.

Absolutely.

[eclipse]

Originally Posted by AnnieA

I did explain to him that there will be no more VE until he needs to do the GBS test around 36 weeks.

Just an FYI, but he really doesn't need to do an internal for this test. He can hand you a swab, have you swab yourself and hand it back to him. That's the way the midwives at the birth center I was supposed to deliver my youngest did it. They weren't even in the room with me when I did it - they sent me off to the bathroom.

[~Adorkable~]

Doctors don't like to be out of their comfort zones, few folks in any walk of life do. For doctors following whatever they believe to be the "standard of care" is their comfort zone.
He most likely things he saved your life (and may have) because he followed his standard.

This is not an excuse for him, it is just an insight.

I personally let a lot of stuff get done to me, but not without full explanation of both what the goal is, what will be done with the various outcomes and what the issues are with not doing it. I do not think we should really be doing anything in our life's that done go thru that filter, pregnancy related or otherwise. Too many things are done forth sole reason that they have "always been done"

Doctors can stay firm in their beliefs and still have personal respect for their pataints and learn to have respectful interactions with them. Doctors tend to dread folks that complain and freak about everything and discount their position. I find it really helpful to stay calm and show that I'm asking questions from a well informed grounded strong place.

Questions I ask about nearly everything a medical care provider wants to do with me:

What is the propose of this?
What are the possible results?
What next steps would be indicated by what results?
What risks are their to the test or the resulting procedure they might indicate was needed?
What risks might their be from skipping the test all together?
How long has this been a standard of care?


One of my golden rules is that folks that get defensive to fair and non accusatory questions about their profession/practices/beliefs are usually feeling like they have something to hide or they don't understand it themselves. this is an issue and a red flag.

[mistymama]

I would totally get a new dr, for several reasons.

First, there is NO reason to be doing an internal exam on you at any point unless you've got bleeding or some reason to think something is wrong. I'm going on 30 weeks and have not had the first internal - not even because I had to refuse, because my OB does not do them.

Second, if he knows your history and is still forcing an internal on you - that is just vile.

Get a new dr. that will respect your body and wishes.

[laughymama]

Originally Posted by vulnerable

He takes it really personal when I refuse, saying HE is the Dr and HE should be allowed to do what he wants.

This would be reason enough for me to find a different doctor ASAP and never look back.

This attitude is completely unacceptable, disrespectful and frankly I would not feel safe with a care provider who makes this statement. It makes me extremely wary and untrustworthy of him.

[umsami]

This is my fourth high-risk pregnancy due to diabetes. I had insulin-dependent gestational diabetes for the first two/three, but this pregnancy (and probably the previous one), I'm full-blown type 2.. on insulin as well. I've never had internal exams until the end of my third trimester. If I've been due for a pap, usually they do it at the beginning. Then there's nothing until the GBS swab (not an internal) around 35 weeks.

What I have had is....

transvaginal ultrasound early on
BPP and NSTs from around 33-34 weeks on
usually one 24-hour urine collection sometime in the pregnancy (sorry if TMI )
various bloodwork

Is your endocrinologist helping to manage your diabetes during this pregnancy or are you seeing a perinatologist/MFM?

Why are you automatically a repeat c-section? Is it because your previous c-section was less than a year ago?

[vulnerable]

All went well and the Drs today. He didn't even mention it once. He was more concerned with why my blood pressure was so terrible. It was just me being nervous and angry I am sure lol. thanks again to all the positive responses

Originally Posted by umsami

Is your endocrinologist helping to manage your diabetes during this pregnancy or are you seeing a perinatologist/MFM?

Yes, I am starting with peri next week, my endo has been involved as well and my a1c has been perfect for a long time now.

Originally Posted by umsami

Why are you automatically a repeat c-section? Is it because your previous c-section was less than a year ago?

Yes and because of a staph and strep infection I developed after my c-section I had 2 surgeries following my c-section aug and Sept of last year. Also, I had a spinal fusion in march so that's another reason to have a c-section. My dr did say he would let me try to have a vaginal birth, but I am kinda nervous considering my last delivery.

[HeatherB]

I'm glad things seem to be looking up in regard to the internals. Lots of great advice so I won't repeat it.

FWIW, you should look into all the risks of a repeat c/s to you and the babe. Read up on the risks/benefits of a VBAC and what a shortened time in between births does to those risks. And, remember, you can refuse internals even IN labor - your body will push when it's ready - if that's the route you choose. Just know that the infections are far more likely with a repeat c/s - as well as with the numerous exams you had in your first labor. I tend to think that if your doc is willing to entertain VBAC as an option, it's worth your while to consider it as a good possibility, too.

[vulnerable]

Originally Posted by HeatherB

FWIW, you should look into all the risks of a repeat c/s to you and the babe. Read up on the risks/benefits of a VBAC and what a shortened time in between births does to those risks. And, remember, you can refuse internals even IN labor - your body will push when it's ready - if that's the route you choose. Just know that the infections are far more likely with a repeat c/s - as well as with the numerous exams you had in your first labor. I tend to think that if your doc is willing to entertain VBAC as an option, it's worth your while to consider it as a good possibility, too.

Yes I have been and this time I will hire a doula ahead of time. Last time I actually emailed one and was planning to meet her the day after I went into labor! I would be comfortable having a vbac if the hospital doesn't act the same way (lock me inside by calling security, calling cps, ect). I think a doula will make a world of difference this time around!

[HeatherB]

Originally Posted by vulnerable

Yes I have been and this time I will hire a doula ahead of time. Last time I actually emailed one and was planning to meet her the day after I went into labor! I would be comfortable having a vbac if the hospital doesn't act the same way (lock me inside by calling security, calling cps, ect). I think a doula will make a world of difference this time around!

You're absolutely right! They can be a huge asset, especially in a VBAC. I hope you find a perfect one!