Need advice-husband vs. children - Page 2

[tallulahma]

Originally Posted by SundayCrepes

My first response was, "This man needs counseling." I understand the need for support while trying to change habits, but what he wants is more than support. He wants you to do the work. Also, he is putting his needs before the needs of the kids. If you think homeschooling is best for the kids, then that needs to be first priority. So, tell him to join weight watchers and if he can't reset his priorities, tell him to see a counselor. Maybe it would help if you saw a counselor to help you figure this all out.

Originally Posted by RiverSky

Wow. My husband would never ask me to put him before our children. He WANTS me to hold my children as #1, because he wants his children treated that way.

I think your husband could probably use some counseling; something just doesn't sound right.

:

I was in shock reading your post... I think your dh sounds like he needs to take responsibility of himself....

He is an adult, your children only have you as their guide..... If you feel homeschooling is best, putting them in public school so you can put all your energy into your husband sounds like a really unhealthy cycle to me.

[Lisa1970]

I think your dh is being selfish. Your job is not just to cater to him, but to raise the children too.

[Marimami]

Just sharing a perspective..

My DH is a SAHD and primary homeschooling parent, but I do schooling with DD (almost 6) also.

I work from home full time as a telecommuter in high tech. I also have many health issues and am dependent on DH for a good many things. I probably am pretty high maintenance because of my issues.

That being said, it's still super duper easy to homeschool.

I honestly think he doesn't have a clue what it will take to homeschool.

Holli

[Tjej]

It sounds to me like your DH is putting the burden of his lifestyle changes on you AND like he doesn't want you to homeschool and is using this as his excuse.

Tjej

[Ruthla]

In general, if given a choice between a man and a child or children, the child/ren need me first. They're children and he's an adult!!!

I don't quite understand why your husband needs you "at his side all day long, with whatever he needs you for." That just seems selfish to me. The only way that this POSSIBLY makes sense is if he needs full-time office help with the home business. Doing office work with 3 kids in tow is certainly more difficult than doing office work with no kids around, but being home with one toddler isn't really that much more work than being home with a toddler, a 5yo, and a 7yo.

The main difference between having the older two in school and homeschooling them is that you'll need the 2yo's nap time to focus on intense learning with the older two, rather than using naptime to recharge yourself or get work done (housework or home business.)

But 2yos are so distracting anyway, that it might actually work more smoothly having all 3 home, as the older ones can entertain the 2yo while you get housework done, and the 7yo can watch the 2yo while you learn with the 5yo and the 5yo can watch the 2yo while you learn with the 7yo.

I also know from experience that, if the child's needs aren't being met in school, they still need to be met at home. A full day's worth of parenting gets squished into the times before and after school, plus you need to help kids with homework and spend time talking to teachers about why the child isn't doing well. Homeschooling is easier in these cases!

[mykdsmomy]

Shyrose~ I hope you weren't scared off I think most everyone here was taken aback by the demands your husband is putting on you. If roles were reversed, would he drop everything and be at your side if you needed the same kind of support?