Why do I let myself be tortured by ECFE??

[sarahbay]

Why do I even bother going and let myself be tortured by ECFE!

I signed up for this baby class and am one of only 2 nursing moms , and no one else CD's or co-sleeps.

I brought each of these things up when they ask me ques like:
"So sarah what do you do to eliminate that morning bottle?"
I nursed all 3 kids

or " What kind of diapers do you use that works well..Luvs? Or Huggies, or the cheap brand? Do you have a problem with diaper rash?"
I use CD's and never get a rash

"How do you get your baby to get back to sleep at night"
Well if he did wake up, which he rarely does, I just roll over half awake and nurse him and he conks right out

You know I try to add my 2 cents, but these ladies fight hard and it's like I end up defending my parenting choices.

There is no LLL in our area, and the one mama group that was cool, moved to Mc Donalds!!! Blah!

I want to get out and hang with other moms and kids and talk about stuff. But when I start about how we birng baby to bed with us and someone says "well we never could do that cuz I could never trust myself, we heard of this lady who brought her kid to bed with her and killed her" Or "we tired CD's but they always leaked, I hated them"

I mean geez. Is that rude or am I being hypersensitive? Should I just keep my mouth shut and suck it in??? Am I just askin for it?

[siddie]

Well, I hope you can find your niche. Sounds like you are having a rough time. I don't have any ap groups (other than here) but I have met some really nice people who parent in ways different from mine and are respectful of my choices.

[Izzybee]

Some people have a problem with CD's and they leak - I think mostly because people don't know how to put them on right, which is why they leak, and yes, some kids do suffocate while sleeping with their parents, but I think these women are attacking you just because your choices are different. I feel for ya, I'm in the same boat - I nurse and use CD's and I'm a weirdo for my choices.
Who cares what they think!! Enjoy the time you spend with your babe.
I don't think you're asking for it, and I think you should speak up, like "hey, I parent my child to the best of my ability, and don't appreciate you saying I'm making bad choices" And if they do a little research, they will realize your choices are awesome!

[jeca]

what's ECFE?

[sarahbay]

It's an abbreviation for a child Parent class called Early Childhood Family Education

[Piglet68]

I try to avoid groups like that.

When DD was 1 year old we attended a "baby gym" class. there was a break for "snack time". The other kids all had either bottles or cups of juice, and lots of munchies. Dd was really not into solid foods then, and only drank water from a sippy cup. Mostly she just wanted to nurse. Some of the parents were so shocked they didn't even pay attention to the story! lol

[Periwinkle]

Argh! That reminds me of a music class we went to a year ago. First and last class we've been to. All the moms (of 8 month olds no less) had weaned already and looked at me like I was bonkers for nursing. One of them said, "Doesn't it hurt?" Then there was the whole discussion about Babywise that sent me over the edge. "I love my video monitor because I can see the baby crying but know she's OK and her leg's not stuck in her crib." Et cetera. Finally, even the great guitar and folk songs couldn't make us go back!

I feel your pain! Still!

[Geofizz]

The way I read these questions, they sound like innocent and non-critical questions and comments. This sounds to me like people looking for information. Comments like "I tried cloth diapers and they leaked" I generally interpret to mean that they tried cloth diapers, they leaked, and since they didn't have enough information at hand on how to deal with the leaks, they went to disposibles.

I see your response to the question of "what do you do about diaper rash" as a good way to provide information. "I use cloth, rashes aren't a problem for us." If they continue questioning, take it at face value and answer their questions and offer advice on making cloth (or co-sleeping or breastfeeding, whatever) work for them.

Of course, tone and facial expressions don't come through on the computer. I read these comments at face value, and since it *is* a parent education class, people are hopefully there to learn.

If this group feels like torture to you, though, then ditch it.

[CarrieMF]

ugh, here there are no AP groups that I know of(for now if I get my way,lol). I went to a breastfeeding group, the only one in town. I was snubbed by almost everyone of the 12-15other ladies there. Dd was 13months, theirs were 6months and younger. The only person who did not snub me was the group leader a lactation consultant. I never went back and hoped that no new moms entered that group of snobs.

[mojomom]

Have you ever thought of starting your own group? I did that when I wanted my kids to get some good association. I had very few mommy friends in my circle so i got together with the few I knew and had them invite their friends and so on. Last year we were a small group of about 4 regular moms and now we are a group of 12 moms who come regularly. I will say not all of my friends are AP, it really has never been an issue with me. I look not for moms who co-sleep or extend breastfeed or carried their kids in slings, what I am looking for are moms who put their children first in their life, they are loving and gentle with them and treat them with kindness and respect. Honestly some of our moms never breastfed or just did it for a few months others have had breastfeeding converstions with me and have decided to nurse past a year.

My point in my ramble(sorry) is start your own group I really believe you attract what you give out. You are going to already formed groups if you form your own you can set the mood and atmosphere to it.