what's harder? going from 0-1 or 1-2?!?!?!

[taramoon13]

i'm due with #2 in feb. and i admit i'm pretty scared imagining myself being back in that newborn no-sleep cycle; except not getting to nap through the day because i'll have a 3 yr. old to care for too. i was super scared about having one because i'm just the "worrier" type and of course things have worked out great. ds & i have our own little routine now and i'm just wondering if my world is going to turn upside down twice as much with #2.

[snoopy5386]

My #2 is almost 4 months old and my #1 is 4. Honestly, for us going from 1-2 has been super easy, but I've been very lucky in that #2 sleeps!!! Sure there are times when it is hard and both kids are screaming, but it has been so much easier than I expected that I'm already considering #3.

[brackin]

Zero to one, definitely, IME. They just get easier-at least, mine have!

[mamadelbosque]

zero to one, for sure, 100%, hands down!! Going from ds1 to ds1 & ds2 was a piece of freaking cake. Its gotten a bit harder lately as ds2 gets more mobile, but its still definetly nothing like going from none to one!!!

[akwifeandmomma]

Zero to one, absolutely.

[jeanine123]

For me it was 0-1. My first was a horrid sleeper for well past his first year of life. Thank goodness the second munchkin was a much, much better sleeper from the get go.

[AutumnAir]

Oh, this is reassuring!! I've been worrying about the same thing!

[taramoon13]

wow, this makes me feel a bit better! i am just hoping that #2 is a much better sleeper than ds!!!! he has just started to consistently sleep through the night and he's almost 3!!!(i feel like i'm jinxing myself by even mentioning it). seems like most people i've talked to that are on #2 have a much better sleeper the second time around.

[sapphire_chan]

I'd think it'd depend on the age of #1 and the personalities of the two kids. Of course, I think people with higher need toddlers probably generally wait longer for #2.

[earthmama369]

I found going from none to one to be the most difficult. It was such a steep learning curve, and I wasn't at all used to those post-partum hormones. Everything was new, and a lot of it was scary or intimidating. Even though my second crash landed and my post-partum period was very stressful and scary, the actual going from one to two wasn't nearly as hard. I felt some stress and worry about how dd would handle things, and some worry about how I could possibly love two children as much as I loved dd -- it's totally possibly, by the way; your heart just grows bigger. But I already knew how to hold a baby, how to nurse and change a diaper, how to cosleep, how to wear him. All those little things that I had to learn the first time, I could just do. It was so much easier, and that gave me a little more time to process and deal with the emotional side of things than I had the first time, when I was consumed by logistics and practicalities.

[pianojazzgirl]

Although my 2nd was a more... um... challenging baby, I still found the transition from 0-1 more difficult than the transition from 1-2. The most important factor in this was that by the 2nd child I had BTDT. Not only did I know what I was facing (hello sleep deprivation) and had way more of a clue at how to comfort and take care of a baby, but even more important: I knew (not just intellectually, but knew knew) that the baby stage would not last forever. That the sleepless nights would not last forever. That things really would get easier. I remember after having dd (my first) feeling trapped in some kind of evil universe of sleep deprivation torture. I also had a hard time dealing with my loss of "self" iykwim. But when ds was an infant I knew that things would just get easier and easier with time and this made it infinitely easier to deal with whatever I had to deal with.

Hope that makes sense!

And congrats!

[tabrizia]

0-1 here as well. 1-2 wasn't that bad, it was a bit tough at first, but DD really just folded into our family. 0-1 was a shock since all of a sudden you have this little person that is relying on you for everything!

[Joyster]

Another vote for 0-1. With number 2, I felt like I was already conditioned for the physical strain. Mentally, I was far more confident a mother and didn't nearly have as many concerns or fears with number 2.

[ThisCat]

When my second child was a newborn, I would have said 0 to 1 was more difficult. I already knew the ropes, and he just sort of slid into our lives pretty seamlessly. But after my son sort of woke up from that sleepy newborn stage where he just went along with whatever my daughter and I were doing and began to assert himself as an individual with his own preferences (and boy does he have a lot), 1 to 2 has sort of kicked my behind. And having two mobile children has added a whole new set of challenges.

So for me, I'd call it a wash. The challenges from 0 to 1 were immediate and like a slap in the face, but it got easier over time. With 1 to 2, the challenges showed themselves a little more gradually and have been more ongoing.

[Norasmomma]

For us having DD wasn't that challenging until she was older(toddler days), but having baby #2 was easy as pie. There was some upheaval when we had DD, but it really was fairly easy.

DD was 3 when DS was born, she was big enough to help a bit and we gave her a lot of info and read big sister/sibling books nightly, I think it really helped the transition. My friend who had her second 2 months after me was thrown for a much bigger loop, BUT she always was focusing on the upheaval, so I honestly think it manifested itself. In our case DS has been dreamy sleeper from day one, he is pretty relaxed. DD was much harder sleep-wise. My biggest thing is I have that much more confidence and know what works and what doesn't for our family.

[EdnaMarie]

I personally found 1 - 2 easier, even with the newborn, because #1 forced me to get up and about. I just had to learn to deal. When she was a baby, I could take my time, but ultimately that didn't make it easier.

[AllisonR]

0-1 was 10000% harder. Of course I am a bit biased - I had PTSD after #1, and the shock of everything is not something I would want anyone to go through. I had a just turned 2 yo and a newborn, but at least I knew what it was all about, and I was a stronger, better person after #2, so if I needed help, I asked for it, if I needed sleep, I gladly let the house go to a pigpen.... And it has only gotten easier, the older the two get, imo.

[sapphire_chan]

What if 0-1 wasn't particularly difficult? Was 1-2 easier, worse, the same?

[meemee]

there is no easy answer. it depends on sooo much

- depends on which age you yourself find 'easy'. i love, love babyhood. so for me no matter how hard 0-1 is a no brainer. i just love babies.
however i find i just love, love parenting. so even though its hard, it never really has been that hard for me. and i have a sensitive, high needs, high energy kids who tires out even my friends.

- depends on no. 2's personality.

- depends on your mindset. my mom told me it all depends on the mindset you go in with. she too is a worrier and went in with an OMG attitude. she had a tonne of support. and she was stressed even though she had that help. until someone pointed out how easy life was for her. she finally got it and stopped worrying and it all worked out for her. mind you even though my bro was a harder baby.

[MrsBone]

I'm a worrier too. We only have one right now and want to have at least one more, but I'm the one that's worried about this and that all the time. I worry about money, losing sleep, sibling rivalry, discipline, etc, so much that it makes me almost want to just stick with one...key word is "almost! " Anyway, just wanted to let you know you're not alone! I can tell you right now, even with all the worry, I still want at least 2, maybe 3 kids!