Getting off on the right foot

[TX Mama]

My little one is only 11 weeks and I have some questions. He sleeps pretty well at night as long as he is right by me. Like RIGHT by me. If I get up, he's up. He actually prefers to sleep on my chest. There is no lying him down for a nap on his own. I'm sure this will change with time but am I setting myself up for a struggle? Also I just learned to nurse while laying down which I'd awesome but...now I feel like an all might buffet. He loves to comfort suck and will wake for that. Any thoughts? I know he is very young but I don't want to be setting myself up for future problems.

[Ann-Marita]

I don't frequent this forum much - my dd is a teen now.

But I saw your post and just had to respond, and bump it up so that others who are more in the midst of nighttime parenting will see and respond.

My dd was just like what you described. Had to sleep RIGHT NEXT to me, would sometimes comfort nurse for hours. It was so hard.

But it does pass. And they do grow. And this period of time when they are so completely dependent on you is such a small part of their 80 year or so lifespan.

No, I do not think you are setting up any future problems. I think you are babying your baby while he's a baby, so you won't have to baby him when he's an adult.

Hang in there. It's worth it.

[Llyra]

I wouldn't worry so much about later on. This early on, the right thing to do is whatever feels natural and comfortable to you, and gets you and baby the most sleep possible, while still meeting baby's needs. And I do consider being close to mama all night to be a need. And think of what a wonderful thing all that nursing is for your milk supply! It sounds like you're doing just fine to me.

I used to hear all the time about how I was going to set myself up for problems, how I'd regret cosleeping, how I was forming bad habits, and my kids were "never" going to do XYZ on their own if I didn't start right away from the first day, etc. They slept on or right next to me, or sometimes with DH, and were nursed freely all night long. Anyway, they all made the transition to sleeping alone fairly easily, when the time was right for us. They're 6, 3, and 3 now, and all of them sleep all night in their own beds in their own rooms (except when they're sick or afraid). I'm so glad to have had that precious time with them.

The time to make changes is when the current situation isn't working anymore for you and baby. I think it's just borrowing trouble, to start distancing baby from you at such a young age, just on the chance that you "might" have trouble later on. Enjoy it. Savor it, because it's over so quickly. And let the future take care of itself.

Just my opinion, of course...

[hrsmom]

I agree with the above. Just wanted to chime in that you might want to look into a wrap or carrier or some kind for naps, if you haven't already. My baby took so many naps while I wearing her, and it was awesome and I actually got a little bit done during that time. (When she was older, FTR!)

[TX Mama]

Thanks! I picked up a book called The No Cry Sleep Solution. So far I really like it. Had a little success when he took a 40 min nap on his own today. I really do love the time together but at times there are things I need to get done. He doesn't like slings too much. He will go along with it eventually but there are lots of tears so I tend to avoid it. I have borrowed various slings to try out too and he's not so into any of them.