How old is too old for skin-to-skin?

[JSerene]

It never occurred to me that there was an age cut off for skin-to-skin, but I got an odd comment about it from my sister and wondered what the rest of the world thinks. Is there a day when you as a parent decide cuddle time can no longer be skin-to-skin time?

[One_Girl]

I never cuddled my dd naked because I never felt that it was appropriate. She was sometimes only in a diaper when she nursed, or later naked because she stripped her pj's off at night but it was never something that both of us were at the same time. I am not that concerned about casual nudity or her seeing me naked while I am showering or dressing but I don't think naked cuddling is appropriate. Some of that is because I had my boundaries seriously violated as a child. If you make it work for you then that is a family choice, in my family it isn't going to happen.

[Youngfrankenstein]

I have never thought about it. My kids were all born in the winter so I think there wasn't nearly as much skin to skin and in the summer. We are at the beach and my 8 month old is getting lots of skin to skin because she's in a diaper a lot and I'm in my swimsuit. When I nurse her my top is basically off. I don't think there would be an inappropriate way to have skin-to-skin.

I don't do skin-to-skin on purpose but not because I find it wrong, it's just not what I like anyway.

[Mommy2Austin]

Nakedness is just another state of being in my house. So my kiddos get hugs and snuggles when mommy is naked sometimes and when they are naked. When One or both of us (individual children) no longer feel comfortable it won't happen. I don't normally tend to ask for cuddles when I'm naked, but the kiddos like to hop in bed with us in the morning and we don't wear clothes to bed. Its all about everyone comfort level. I want my kiddos to understand that being naked isn't a taboo issue.

[lach]

We did some skin to skin cuddling when they were tiny newborns, but after that it doesn't seem very practical to strip off my shirt and their clothes every time they get upset. I'd rather skip to the cuddling and comforting part. The WHO has identified between 20 and 40 benefits of skin to skin contact (the range is because some results are not statistically significant in research, but they still consider them), but it's unclear to me that any of them transfer or are applicable to older babies, let alone toddlers or older children. They are things like temperature regulation, stimulating breastfeeding, and providing comfort to babies who can't see or localize touch.

[Marsupialmom]

When someone starts feeling uncomfortable with it.

For some this means, never. Others will be years later.

[meemee]

we are a naked family. its dd and me. and we mostly cosleep naked. no one is going to tell me what i should or should not do in my house.

now that's just how it is. doesnt mean we are going for skin to skin time. i mean dd was born in summer and i leaked so much that the first couple fo months i just walked around at home topless because it was useless having to do so much laundry.

dd and i took showers and bath together till she could manage at 5. even now sometimes she invites me to have one with her because we always have so much fun together.

so i would do what is comfortable for you all.

[Heavenly]

Originally Posted by meemee

we are a naked family. its dd and me. and we mostly cosleep naked. no one is going to tell me what i should or should not do in my house.
now that's just how it is. doesnt mean we are going for skin to skin time. i mean dd was born in summer and i leaked so much that the first couple fo months i just walked around at home topless because it was useless having to do so much laundry.

dd and i took showers and bath together till she could manage at 5. even now sometimes she invites me to have one with her because we always have so much fun together.

so i would do what is comfortable for you all.

I would be careful what you put out there on the internet because this statement isn't necessarily true. You are sleeping naked with an 8 year old? I think many people would consider that worthy of looking into. Not saying whether or not I agree but I am a social work student going into the field of child abuse and I can guarantee you it would not be seen as okay.

[meemee]

WOAH?!!!! really?!!!!

what about nudist camps? what about places like Burning Man?

what about nudist vacations that are the rage now?

if dd and i went on a nude vacation where we walked nude on the beach like everyone else - that could get a call from CPS?!!!!

[lonegirl]

I am not a naked person....I like having clothes on.
That said....my son's favourite request from me is a "tummy hug". Whenever he sees me changing or when he takes his top off he always asks for one. This is skin-to-skin warm tummy hugs. I see no issue with it...I know one day he will no longer ask for one....but for now I will continue with them.

[Joyster]

My guys are really on the go so cuddling is not a huge option unless I'm sitting watching a movie with them. They too were both born in the fall/winter so skin to skin other than a diaper while we were nursing wasn't readily available.

That said, they do love backrubs which is always skin to skin, especially my youngest who needs one to calm down when he's agitated.

[D_McG]

I stop sleeping topless when I wean (22mos and 20 mos). My son is 4 and I just started to feel self conscious getting changed in front of him. I'll change quickly but that's where it ends, now.

Sleeping naked with an 8 year old is well outside of my comfort zone.

[loraxc]

I will still hug my 2yo if he happens to be naked, but I don't like, get naked and get him naked and cuddle! I also don't hang around the house naked myself, so it just doesn't come up.

[loraxc]

Also, in terms of sleeping naked with an older child, I would want to consider whether the memory of that was going to be embarrassing to my child at a later date.

[nextcommercial]

Originally Posted by loraxc

Also, in terms of sleeping naked with an older child, I would want to consider whether the memory of that was going to be embarrassing to my child at a later date.

That. I'm so glad I don't have any memories of my dad naked.

[bestjob]

I echo the sentiment that it is when either party starts feeling uncomfortable, it is time to cover up. Skin to skin can still be holding hands or snuggling into the crook of your neck or playing footsies while you watch a movie. My big kids still do those things, and my youngest (ds is 9 yo) still snuffles into my armpit when he wakes up too early and we both want to doze.

However, if I "accused" him of snuffling in my armpit, or if I asked the big kids to play footsies, they'd be mortified and they'd never do it again.

[4evermom]

Originally Posted by nextcommercial

That. I'm so glad I don't have any memories of my dad naked.

That memory doesn't bother me.

[blessedwithboys]

my 8yo would probably love to snuggle up with my boobs, my 15yo would not.

nudity is no big deal to me, but my kids are much more modest. ds1 and i have not been naked around each other in YEARS. ds2 says he doesnt want to be seen unclothed but he puts his dirty clothes in the hamper in my room and then runs across the house to his bathroom to shower. if he really cared, he'd get undressed in the bathroom and then put on clean clothes and then go put his dirty stuff away.

also, i sleep naked, and if ds2 wakes up from a bad dream, he come into my bed. he could care less about me being naked, but if i sense him getting in the bed, i reach down to the floor and pull on some clothes. i'm not uncomfortable myself, but i just know ds will say something to my ex and that will start something i dont really need to deal with in my already hectic life, yk?

[Chamomile Girl]

Originally Posted by 4evermom

That memory doesn't bother me.

THANK you! Same here. I don't know why remembering one's dad naked would even be an issue. In fact I find some of the condemnation on this thread rather perplexing. Naked should not be sexualizing by default, and I think that is why some folks have a problem with sharing nakedness with children.

Naked can just be naked, and skin to skin contact with children is a loving thing.

[rhiOrion]

would skin-to-skin time have to be naked, anyhow? I consider it skin to skin if my DD is in just a diaper and I have my shirt off. That happens pretty frequently (but she's only four months old, and sometimes taking my shirt off is easier than leaving it on when she's having a really nursy day.)