Originally Posted by loraxc
I would suggest that every parent read up on the current thinking on how to prevent child sexual abuse. While there is certainly the acknowledgement that children should trust "bad feelings" about a person, there is a lot more to it than that. It is very widely acknowledged that children should be taught that certain areas are private.http://www.stopitnow.com/dont_wait_everyday_preventionhttp://www.rainn.org/get-information...sexual-assault
"# Teach children that some parts of their body are private.
* Let children know that other people should not be touching or looking at their private parts unless they need to touch them to provide care. If someone does need to touch them in those private areas, a parent or trusted caregiver should be there, too.
* Tell children that if someone tries to touch those private areas or wants to look at them, OR if someone tries to show the child their own private parts, they should tell a trusted adult as soon as possible.
i those are great guidelines that should be followed when developmentally and situationally appropriate- which is different for every child.
i am choosing not to focus on that aspect with my children until they are going to be away from me. Im focusing more on the whole body ownership- the older they get the easier I think it would be to get this message across without CONFUSING them as to WHY it needs to be private.
the rainn site also states
|All children should be told that it’s okay to say “no” to touches that make them uncomfortable or if someone is touching them in ways that make them uncomfortable and that they should tell a trusted adult as soon as possible.
This can lead to some slightly embarrassing situations, such as a child who then says they don’t want give a relative a hug or kiss! Work with your child to find ways to greet people that don’t involve uncomfortable kinds of touch.
Talking openly about sexuality and sexual abuse also teaches children that these things don’t need to be “secret.” Abusers will sometimes tell a child that the abuse is a secret. Let your children know that if someone is touching them or talking to them in ways that make them uncomfortable that it shouldn’t stay a secret.
Make sure to tell your child that that they will not get into trouble if they tell you this kind of secret.
which is the aspect some of us have voiced focusing more on....
i think this info should be given at age appropriate times...
skin to skin snuggles at ages 3-4 should NOT red flag CPS! that seems so absurd to me. it really does. Its a sad world we are in. where a topic of love and snuggles with your child turns to "you may be reported to CPS" this quickly.
i can also promise you that I KNOW people who were taught all the things listed on these websites and went on to be abused- because physical abuse is also emotional... and no guideline or speech about your privates is going to protect a child from a manipulative person intent on harming them in a way that is seductive and slow going.
these are things to teach your kids so that they are confident and secure enough to SPEAK OUT about the abuse... in which case there are many ways to that end, i believe.
i think the only reason a naked PARENT cuddling with a small child would be wrong is if a child is uncomfortable and either
a. isnt empowered to ask the parent to stop- which IS abuse.
b. a child is empowered enough to ask the parent to stop and the parent DOESNT LISTEN- which IS ALSO clear abuse.