Quote:
Originally Posted by That Is Nice  Could you continue to work your job if your husband/partner worked 7 am to 6 or 7 pm Monday - Friday, got only two weeks vacation, never used sick leave, never used comp time, and did not and would not take paternity leave?
And you had no help from family or inlaws?
What if the above situation could not change and had been going on for years? What if your husband said his job was static and he was not interested in changing a thing but he could help you "balance" two careers and family by loading and unloading the dishwasher, helping sometimes with laundry, and dropping off or picking up your child from daycare twice a week, but working even later to make up the time for those schedule changes?
What would you say or do?
Would you continue to work? How would you do it?
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We do it. My husband's work schedule most days is: start work around 9:30, work until 10 or 11 at night. He HAS to work 'til 5:30 but the reality is it just doesn't stop.
He can have dinner with us at the table maybe 3 times a week (45 min-hr break) but he really isn't able to prepare it (he does clear his plate as does everyone
). However we'll sometimes go and eat downstairs next to his office so he eats at his desk and we can all kind of hear each other.
Most nights he carves out 15 minutes to play with my son just before bed. He works from home 3-4 days a week and all evenings and weekends. So he's physically present.
He does all the breakfast and is totally the go-to parent for everything from waking up to dealing with what the school needs this week. He bikes my son to school as much as possible so as to get a bit of exercise in, and also weekend mornings.
Weekends he usually works at least 2 a month, beginning around 1 or 2 pm and finishing up around 2-3 am on Sat and Sun. Friday night is when they get organized for the weekend.
Other than the last week when we were both supposed to take vacation (I ended up working 2/5 of my vacation days and he was sick-lie-in-bed-deathly-ill for 1 day, and then we had wisely booked a trip AWAY so no one could get us - well we each got phoned twice) he had also worked 7 weeks without a
single day off, including weekends. Which is why he got sick, IMO.
Yes, he's insane and so is his company (think err, medium-big Blue). And yes, it's unhealthy. He's on a project where they deal with new and current customers during the day and then get the tech work actually done at night when they can take systems off line. He does
NOT get paid overtime. If he did, we would hire sooooo much help.
I could go into a great rant about it, but it's also his personality. Honestly I have been the same way, so I at least get it emotionally. And I think, as sad as it is, we've just kind of - adjusted to the lifestyle.
I do have some help from my parents but it's sporadic and they go away about 4-5 months of the year. We have a great daycare and the only external classes we've done lately are swimming and gymnastics.
How we do it is emotional partnership. I do the bulk of the chores and cooking and shopping but if I'm burning out, he steps in.
There are some compromises we've made. We don't get outside as much as I would like during the week. On weekends we roll early so that we can get a bike ride or a swim in (10 am swim, yay) before his work takes over. I do the bulk of the cleaning, but I have a system down that means our house is NEVER "perfect" but each area gets attention at least once a month. However we have a junk room, a messy as heck back yard and overgrown front garden, and car maintenance is blah. We have some house projects that need to be done.
I do financial stuff at night while I'm poking around MDC etc. My job has suffered some because I can't work the weekend if my husband is, but oh well.
We're rarely on time with Xmas cards.
