~ Postpartum Chat Thread Aug 8 - 14 ~

[Surfacing]

Previous thread: http://www.mothering.com/discussions....php?t=1249363

Originally Posted by KatWozBlue

I am with you, this three kids thing is a whole new ballgame. My mom has been here since my dd was born and she leaves tomorrow, so I am left with a 2 week old, a 4 year old and a 6 year old and two weeks until school starts, yikes! My mom was awesome during our outing yesterday to get my dd and ds their school sneakers, but I am like how am I going to do this alone? Yikes!! My dd had camp this week and I swear to get all three kids out of the house by 8:45 was a flippin' nightmare, my husband had to step in and be late to work on two occasions to get her to camp...sigh.

NAK

This is what scares me too. Dd1 starts SK in Sept and Dd2 will be going to nursery school. Both kids will have to be at school for 9 a.m. and come home for noon. FORTUNATELY my father is going to drive them in the morning and bring them home at lunch time. Lucky eh? But getting everyone up, out of bed, dressed, fed, washed up, etc. by 8:30 a.m..... esp. since all summer we've been going to bed late and sleeping in late... gulp. It'll happen though... it has to!

Originally Posted by amyrobynne

I've got exactly the ages you have -- 6, 4, and 2 weeks. My husband teaches and he goes back the 18th, then the big kids start school on 8/30. We've got dinner being delivered through 8/24, so that helps. That day my 4 year old's cast comes off (he broke his arm when the baby was 3 days old) so I'm hoping I can just let them run through sprinklers that last week while I sit with the baby.

Sounds great to have dinner delivered. Hope your little guy's arm is better.

[Terrilein]

Oh geez, I would like to hear which of you has everything "together" at 3 weeks pp? DP thinks we ought to start getting back on a regular schedule starting tomorrow. You know, waking up early. Making and eating breakfast. Doing activities. Meh. I told him sure . . . if I'd get 8 hours of sleep. It's not like I'm sleeping in because I'm lazy and we're all on vacation and have nothing better to do. I mean, I'm turning 40 on Thursday and I'm not planning a party because I'd probably sleep through it anyways. That will have to wait awhile. So, it's not like I'm not motivated . . . I just really need the sleep!

[Surfacing]

You said it sister! I find myself feeling more tired, sad and irritable when I feel pressured to get out and about shopping etc.

[amyrobynne]

Originally Posted by Surfacing

This is what scares me too. Dd1 starts SK in Sept and Dd2 will be going to nursery school. Both kids will have to be at school for 9 a.m. and come home for noon. FORTUNATELY my father is going to drive them in the morning and bring them home at lunch time.

That was my biggest fear if I'd gone a week or so late instead of 3 weeks early -- my dh was scheduled to return to work 5 days after my edd and the boys start school 17 days after my edd. If he'd come a week late, people would have thought it was reasonable for me to do the pre-k pick-up (40 min in the car) right away and that freaked me out. Now it should be fine to drive that much at 5 weeks pp. This baby was really considerate with his timing.

[somegirl99]

We're at 3 weeks today and nowhere near ready for anything resembling a regular schedule.

[majazama]

Originally Posted by Surfacing

getting everyone up, out of bed, dressed, fed, washed up, etc. by 8:30 a.m.....

that's why I'm homeschooling this year.

Originally Posted by amyrobynne

This baby was really considerate with his timing.

I think my baby was pretty considerate with his timing too, born after we went on our hotsprings trip, etc. Neato.

[KatWozBlue]

My dh was also like, hmm, we should start getting up earlier to "practice" getting the kids ready for school and its like honey, I have two more weeks, I don't need two weeks of flippin' practice, I need two weeks of flippin' sleep, but if YOU want to practice, just knock yourself out

My son is starting a new school this year and can catch the bus literally in front of the house and he is balking at the idea and before #3 was born, I was wavering on whether or not to force him to take the bus, and now I am like, sorry oldest child, I have to sacrifice you, lol. It wouldn't be every day, but I really need to have that option.

My mom has officially left, felt teary and we both hid them well, dh has taken the kids out all day and I have done laundry and did take a nice nap with the babe, she's two weeks today and the sweetest thing, she makes me cry as I smell her when she's sleeping. She's still being a really easy baby and I think now as I am staring two weeks home solo with the three of them, we'll see if her laid back style continues.

My dd on the other hand has been waking up at night crying for mommy, this is totally new and I know its because of all the changes, so now I am hoping that with all the visitors gone (whew!) that I can spend some more time with her and help lessen her obvious anxiety. Poor thing.

[terra-pip]

Originally Posted by majazama

that's why I'm homeschooling this year.

Me too...I was wondering if any new mamas were homeschoolers. I have a 7 year old and a 3 year old and I'm sort of concerned about how are year is going to go with the new baby. My oldest was 4 when baby brother came so no big deal...but now i have to somehow homeschool effectively a 2nd grader and somehow entertain and not let the 3 year old fall between the cracks.

School type issues are definitely big on my mind lately as well!

[chattyprincess]

lol..glad to join this thread! dd2 is 4 weeks old yesterday and we have only 2 more weeks left of being away from home I cannot believe 3 months has flown by (we arrived in maine to "birth the baby" the end of may). We go home and dd1 starts junior kindergarten on september 16...oyvey. In the 3 or so weeks from when we get home I have in our family 3 dentist apts, 3 doc apts, 3 eye doc apts, restocking my house with food (I know dh emptied it and didn't shop at all), 2 days of "gradually" entering school with dd, backtoschool shopping...and yeah...No clue how I will do it all.
It seems even one thing a day to do, like going to the grocery store requires 3extra hours of my time. UGH!!! Its doable but just having to be patient and remember that things are dif. now!
How are those of you with more then 1 dc feeling emotionally? I am really struggling and feeling super emotional about my relationship with new dd and my big girl dd!

[Crazybean]

At a little over 2 weeks pp, my company/help has left as well. This AM, I had to get my newly turned 3 year old up (who isn't potty trained yet) while the baby decided he was going to cluster feed this AM starting at 4am... I felt to stressed and like I couldn't juggle 2 kids at once! I'm great with time management and prioritizing at work but I can't seem to do it at home! What the heck?!

Anyway, during my emergency c -section, the dr accidently cut my bladder. Wednesday is the day I go find out if my bladder is healed or not. Since the c-section, I've had to wear a catheter 24/7 and it hurts so bad because I have bladder spasms (pee myself with no warning- so embarassing! ) and have to pee around it as the bladder gets stronger. It is HORRIBLE! On top of that, my c -section incision got infected so he scrapped out the "bad" stuff so I'm back to healing from that AGAIN. I'm on antibiotics so I'm hoping I can escape other problems that brings like thrush or yeast infections. My recover has been far from textbook and I hope Wednesday is the day things turn around! I also still have my pp bleeding going on so I want to curl up and cry most days...

[Crazybean]

Just got my procedure pushed back until THURSDAY... ahhhhhhh

[carliec76]

I am so the opposite. My kids always wake at 6:30-7. I can't wait for Cadan to start first grade. I would like some separation between Cadan & Kai. They are like a insane tornado when together. School is only a few minutes drive or 15 min walk. I seriously have been programing Cadan to get ready every morning. My eldest 2 are driving us nuts. They just feed off each other and are constantly bugging the crap out of one another one minute. They are both going through the butt stage. They find it so hilarious and we find it to be rather annoying. If i hear the word but I just freak on them because they say like 500 times a day. Everything begins and ends with BUTT. Aug 25th can't come soon enough!

[majazama]

i just got my boy weighed (and forgot to weigh myself, argh) and he's now 11 lbs even.. has gained two lbs in the past two weeks. I'm so proud!

[carliec76]

So today was my 2 week check up... totally forgot. I have been cleaning and organizing since I got up at 8. At 2 I walk by the front door and see the midwife assist come walking up the path..opps...I was still in my jammies and a total mess. But the house was clean
Rosen weighed in at 9 lbs 14oz from a second day low of 7lbs 8 oz...what a chunker.

Kai got the first real smiles at 13 days and again today. She only has eyes for Kai...lol

[Surfacing]

So great to read the updates! I have been wondering how everyone is doing.

Just flying by the computer here, MIL is visiting and helping with dishes, supper and holding the baby. Dh is back at work (sob!!!) I'm tired.

Crazybean That sounds really hard.

[ProtoLawyer]

Baby's doing well--exclusively nursing, no supplementing, even with EBM. I'm pumping about 3 ounces a day just in case, and they're getting frozen. I think we're through the 3-week growth spurt (which had him cluster feeding from roughly midnight-5 a.m. for five days straight...it was brutal)--last night he actually slept in reasonable increments, and fell back asleep after a normal feeding. I don't know what he weighs but he's gaining steadily.

As for me...I'm having good days and bad. I realized a few days ago I actually don't remember the moment of my son's birth (emergent section after 12 hours of natural labor)--I'm not sure if anyone announced it. My husband's not sure whether he said anything (which, as he was kind of caught up in everything, having orders barked at him, I don't hold against him). I heard crying and asked if it was crying (my pregnancy was bookended by dumb questions: "Honey, do you see a line?" when there was clearly a line; "is that crying?" when there could be crying). I don't think I would have asked if there was crying if anyone had told me he was born (or, more specifically, if I had registered anyone telling me he was out). There are about 50 pictures from the OR that I don't remember...that was a tough realization, a really important moment in my life, just gone. I managed the whole labor pretty darn lucidly, not even processing it as real pain, but the birth is foggy.

But...physically, I'm doing well. I actually put on *and buttoned* a pair of non-maternity pants today--they were tight but doable--which means I can attend job interviews and not look pregnant or like I'm trying to hide a pregnancy. Very cool. Lochia's down to nearly nothing, so I'm going commando at night, which takes pressure off my incision. Mastitis is gone (I had abx because I was so ill and <2 weeks pp), and thrush seems avoided for now.

[Surfacing]

That's good news Proto that baby is gaining well, the mastitis is over and baby is exclusively nursing. Way to go! It's nice to hear an update from you. It's interesting that you are remembering--and not remembering--parts of your labour and birth. There's a loss there to grieve. It takes time to process and reflect.

Chattyprincess - I too feel sad sometimes -- I really miss my dd2. She was my little cuddle buddy and I used to love to give her my attention - which she loved too. She's just so cute. Baby is now taking up so much of my time, naturally. It's been a rough transition. Today she told me she hates my cici (the word we use for nursing and breasts). I think it's been rough on her to have to wait wait WAIT her turn. Myself I'm feeling all touched out but what am I to do? Dd2 is not ready to wean, so I will stick with it. I miss having attention to give her, to enjoy gazing into her eyes, to smile with her, etc. Even when I'm nursing her I'm tapping my foot because I know ds is waiting. How are you feeling emotional about your girls?

AFM - I am worried about ds's weight gain. He still has good pees and poos everyday but seems to be nursing a bit less right now. He's having a good sleep and I'm thinking he's gonna be nursing like crazy again soon. MIL is here visiting and helping out. Seems like I always have ds at the breast which is in stark contrast to SIL (whom MIL lives with) -- anyone can bottle feed her baby (who is ff). MIL is very supportive of my bfing and not uncomfortable watching us nurse, infact she says she loves seeing it. But it definitely is "disruptive" to the THINGS people want us to DO. I am really tired. I feel blessed though to have these wonderful children.

My pdoc upped my meds a wee bit. I am a bit pissed off because while I am feeling some more symptoms of anxiety, I don't think medicating me more is necessarily the answer. Am I feeling overwhelmed? At times, yes. But anyone with a 5 y.o., 2 y.o. and a newborn would. NO??? What I think I need is more talk therapy or, really, cognitive retraining by way of CBT to change some of my automatic messages. Really, just work I can do by myself at home. And I need good sleep, consistent help with the housework, cooking and kids, and a back massage. I also need to stop talking negative to myself about what kind of mother I am when I know I'm a darned good one!

Hugs to all!

[homew/two]

Ya I know the start of the school year is going to be really hard. Dh is a teacher so he goes back, ds starts all day kindergarten, dd starts 2 mornings/wk ps, and baby and I go back to work where I work seasonally with my dad while my mom helps with kids. We haven't left the house before 11 AM since baby was born (almost 7 wks) and dd1 will sleep til 10AM easily. I know I should start to ease her into earlier mornings but at 8 AM the last thing I want to do is wake her up!

On the other hand I'm kind of looking forward to a little schedule in my life. It'll be nice to have destinations for everyone and it'll force a bit of structure into my life which I desperately need.

At 7 weeks my little babe has moments of being wide awake and a couple of times I have gotten her to smile at my high pitch baby talk. We also had our first bout of 2-3 hours of crying late night (midnightish) and she wasn't hungry, didn't have a messy diaper, and movement/rocking/patting did not help. Maybe gas- don't know but it wasn't much fun!

[somegirl99]

Crazybean, thinking of you.

Good luck to those of you with older kids, sounds like a tough balancing act.

We think DS had a low-grade fever yesterday, he kept overheating (I had to totally undress him at one point) and was inconsolable last night. He seems much better today though, took his temp this morning and it was fine, today is just the usual cluster feeding fussiness.

Yesterday we went to a babywearing support group and got help with the ring sling, yay! I'm still not very good at it but today I was able to take one of the dogs for a half hour walk with him in the sling, nursing the whole time (even while picking up poop ). I had to use one arm to hold him in place but I'm sure I'll get better with practice. I think me being short makes it more difficult.

I can't fit into my pre-pregnancy pants yet...my thighs don't quite fit. I think it's the lack of running/bicycling. I'm in my small maternity pants or sweatpants still. My boobs will keep me from fitting into any of my pre-pregnancy tops. I'm still bleeding a lot after 3 weeks (actually it's been heavier this week than before). Will it ever stop? My tummy is still flabby but my ab muscles feel slightly better. Stress incontinence (ugh) seems to be getting better, I try to remind myself to do Kegels while nursing. Energy levels are much better (at least as much as can be expected with the sleep deprivation).

[mummy marja]

Hi everyone! I haven't been on here much lately, but I think of you all often!

I really feel for all the moms worrying about the start of school. I know it would be so hard if I had to get my two older ones up, fed, dressed and walk them to the bus stop early every morning.

We're doing very well as long as I have few or no expectations about getting things done. If I can keep Baby as #1 priority and let go of all the other stuff then my life is wonderful. That's easy in theory, but hard to do in real life!

He's been much much fussier the past 2 weeks or so. With my first two kids the sound of my baby crying would make me feel very anxious and panicky...I couldn't handle it at all. Somehow it is different this time. Not that I like the crying, but I am much calmer about it. I know that even if he cries a lot every day for the next 3 months, that it's ok. I can hold him and do what I can to make him feel better, but if he doesn't stop crying, that's ok too. (At least, I feel that way most of the time.)

We are almost at 6 weeks, and I am happy to say that my lochia is pretty much OVER. I can get away with just a liner, and sometimes even go without.