Originally Posted by koby58
Do you ever find your children rearranging their lives last minute (as in within the day or hour) so they can see their non-custodial parent?
When you have an ex who is all about doing things last minute and then being offended when plans don't
change for him, do you just let it go?
Better yet, when one daughter has plans and the other last minute changes hers to drive somewhere, who gets the car?
Yup, except now I try and judge when to flex. We went through a time where I said yes to every last minute change, then a time when I said no to every last minute change.
Now I try to gauge it. How inconvenient is it to the rest of the family? Does it seem like a genuine 'Oh geez, I screwed up - can we adjust plans?' or 'If we do this instead - how will it work for you?'
I'm much more open to suggestions of changing things, as opposed to being told 'This is what I've decided to do, you have to deal with the fall out'.
At this point, my ex knows what will and won't fly. For instance - he has the girls this week for vacation. He wanted to leave a day early, as a last minute decision. He called and said 'Hey, I know this may not work - but if possible, can I snag the kids a day early?' Me - 'Please come and get them, they're driving me nuts with excitement'
However, in the past (first couple of months divorced) he pulled some abrupt (as in hours before) visitation cancellations so he could go out of town with friends, called me in the middle of a weekend (when I was at work, no less) to see if I could pick up the kids early, etc.
It's all about setting boundaries. We're at a pretty healthy place right now, co-parenting wise. It just takes some effort from both parties.