Sorry if this is too long. I am 16 weeks pregnant and I have a sister who is 12 weeks and on bed rest for the past month. She is a RN who works in L&D. When I first told her I was planing a home birth, she exploded and told me I was crazy that she had seen enough complications blablablahhh. I told her I have read the research and I was happy to share it with her. She refused to even listen and completely shut down. She believes my decision is a personal attack on her profession and that I don't respect her by choosing on having a home birth.
I asked her politely not to mention the subject again since she is not open for discussion, but since we are both pregnant, it is almost impossible not to. For example, last night she asked me when my next ultrasound was going to be and I told her that my midwife and I agreed not having anymore ultrasounds. So that brought up the same arguments again "the technology is there for a reason and you are crazy for not wanting to know if there is something wrong with your baby....the same thing with your choices on home birth...." So now we are not talking and I feel so sad. I just can't believe it is so hard for her to respect my wishes and not take them as a personal attack. She even said that my choices are due to my partner's influences on my personality and that I would pay for my mistakes with the life of my child. I never heard so many hurtful things before and now I don't know what to do. I wrote to her telling how I felt and she won't apologize. She thinks she is right and period.
Does anyone have any advice in dealing with this kind of situation? Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated.
I asked her politely not to mention the subject again since she is not open for discussion, but since we are both pregnant, it is almost impossible not to. For example, last night she asked me when my next ultrasound was going to be and I told her that my midwife and I agreed not having anymore ultrasounds. So that brought up the same arguments again "the technology is there for a reason and you are crazy for not wanting to know if there is something wrong with your baby....the same thing with your choices on home birth...." So now we are not talking and I feel so sad. I just can't believe it is so hard for her to respect my wishes and not take them as a personal attack. She even said that my choices are due to my partner's influences on my personality and that I would pay for my mistakes with the life of my child. I never heard so many hurtful things before and now I don't know what to do. I wrote to her telling how I felt and she won't apologize. She thinks she is right and period.
Does anyone have any advice in dealing with this kind of situation? Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated.
Since when is the American medical model of birth actually practicing evidence based medicine? Many hospital routine procedures are not put into place in mother or babies best interest- the science is not there, some of them directly contradict science and evidence!! They put those procedures into place for reasons such as profit, scheduling, insurance, etc. L&D rooms have evolved a lot in the last 50 years, but they have a lot further to go. Shaving, enemas, strapping women to the bed, and "twilight sleep" are mostly things of the past nowadays, but things can still be so much better! And they ought to be! And I refuse to just accept it and hope for the best, I have choices and I made the best one for me and my baby and I won't take flak for that w/o a fight! I want my daughter to have a choice to have a hospital birth and know that she will have her choices and her body respected and not be bullied into things that aren't even medically sound.
