Oh boy. I think we conceived.

[ChristyMarie]

I'm obsessing and have to share these thoughts.

Not sure if anyone remembers me - we gave up over a year ago and moved onto adoption. This after maybe 8 or 9 early losses, 4 late first term losses, including an IVF with pre-genetic testing m/c. I can get pregnant, I can't stay pregnant.

Well I was on the pill to control my endo but I just couldn't handle the hormones anymore so we've just been avoiding DTD when ovulating.

Last Saturday the mood struck, I was ovulating but figured, eh, it won't happen.

Yeah.

I've got all the normal symptoms. Too damn early to test. Too damn early to know if this is going to stick or not. But not too early to obsess over everything. Including the one spot of bright pink (implantation?) spotting today. Pretty much textbook pregnancy symptoms for me. I've certainly been through it enough to know.

DAMN!

I'm over this roller coaster. We gave UP. Our homestudy is almost approved and I can't go through another loss. Yet there's that part of me going, "pleasepleasepleaseplease."

Haven't even mentioned it to DH yet.

I don't even know if I want hugs, prayers, someone to swear with me or a martini.

[EllyMayMomma]

I just have to send you hugs. I am new to MDC and lurk on this forum (have been TTC again for 2 years but not going to do the medical route.) I have no way of understanding all you have been through but you will be in my thoughts and prayers tonight.

[Thing1Thing2]

I hope everything works out for you. Hang in there mama!

[lesliesara63]

Wow you really have been through a lot. I can see why you're stressing right now. I've only had two losses and I already can see how scary it will be to be pregnant again. I vote that you need a drink!

[ChristyMarie]

Well I almost threw up yesterday during my walk so I guess that answers the am I or aren't I question.. Walk since I'm being paranoid and not jogging until I know.

If history repeats itself I have about a week before I know if it is sticking or not. It is going to be a loooong week.

Thanks ladies.

[Thing1Thing2]

Keep us updated

[chiefmir]

My fingers are crossed for you! I had far fewer losses than you ("only" 4 and all before 5 weeks) and was totally in shock when a pregancy "stuck"- but it did happen. keep us posted!

[MoOnFiReGlOw]

Oh hun! I hope this is it for you!!

[Maurine]

Well since it sounds like you're on your way to an oops pregnancy, I hope it sticks for you!

[ChristyMarie]

12 dpo

Still naseous, still negative test but I've never tested positive before 14 dpo. But I'm not out of breath yet which should be hitting which leads me to believe it isn't implanting properly. We shall see.

And I'm not sure how oops it is when I knew I was ovulating.

[lesliesara63]

Any update?

[ChristyMarie]

I'm now 2 days late - 16 dpo.

Negative test 14 dpo.

Nausea is still there but lessening...never a good sign for me. It should be increasing and shortness of breath should be there if this was sticking.

Dark/brownish, very light spotting 15 dpo. I thought this was finally a period or m/c starting so I didn't test this morning.

I'm guessing if no more bleeding I'll test in the morning tomorrow (17 dpo). If still negative I'll probably wait a couple of days then call the RE. Normally I would start to bleed between 16-19 dpo with an early m/c so I kinda feel like it is pointless to call before about 20 dpo. I have no desire for more progesterone to just prolong the end so to speak.

But, just in case, still not lifting anything and not jogging. That old hope thing you know.

Can you tell I've been through this exact scenario a few times?

[wallabi]

(((hugs)))
sorry you are having to go through this.
thinking sticky thoughts for you!!!!

[zanelee]

What a rollercoaster! I'm so sorry you're dealing with so much.
Hugs to you!!!

[ChristyMarie]

Well, officially not pregnant. Full flow started last night.

You know, this past week has just reinforced why we said no more and moved onto adoption. I hate the emotional rollercoaster. Just can't do it anymore.

Thanks for listening!

[Thing1Thing2]

So sorry Hang in there Mama...

[ivymae]

Just a to help you along your journey. Good luck with your homestudy, and bringing home your sweet child sooner than later. This egg wasn't that baby, but they are out there, waiting for you too.

[lesliesara63]

Adoption is a beautiful thing once you dig yourself out of the paperwork. I'd love to hear about it, when you finally have your child.