When is it time to start limiting "potty time"???

[Cartesia]

My 20 month old started using the potty on vacation 2 months ago - grandma and grandpa had a potty seat. He was curious, used it and liked it.

He is very nonchalant about the whole thing. He just asks when he needs to go and is mostly interested in the fact that someone always reads to him while he is on the potty! He still pees in his diaper but has rarely pooped in the diaper over the past 2 months.

Now, I don't particularly care if DS uses the potty yet especially since he's only 20 months. What I do care about is that he seems to feel autonomous and happy about the whole thing.

BUT - I am wondering about setting potty limits. So far I haven't been firm about any boundaries about time or what we we do while DS is on the potty. It has turned into DS's favorite place to linger and linger and linger...."Mama read books to Theo on potty right now!".....he would prefer to stay for 20-30 minutes at a time. (And its not like he doesn't get plenty of my undivided attention most of the rest of the day too...including books books books everywhere)

Last night DS asked to go poop after lights-out bedtime. I was pretty darn sure he didn't need to go but I we went to the potty and he was triumphant - "Read books now!"
This is a problem b/c he is a serious sleep fighter and has responded really well to strict bedtime. I would rather he NOT learn about the potty than start using the potty as escape from bedtime!

The bottom line is that potty is currently something that I never say "no" about. It reminds me of how I used to never set limits about nursing. Now we do have a few - we don't nurse in the bathtub and we don't nurse on the subway or bus. It felt very natural and easy to set those nursing limits because it involves my body. But with the potty it is less clear.

Thoughts?

[EdnaMarie]

In my experience, many little boys go through a potty phase between 18 and 22 months. Girls too.

If you go with it, they may train before two.

If you don't, they may train before two, but you also never know... they might train right before four.

That said, I understand the bedtime thing because my 16 month old does the same thing. So what I do is I have her sit on the potty and make the poop noise and keep saying "poop poop poop" before she takes her bath. Usually, if she really needs to poop, she'll do it then. Then I set her on it right before I pat her the last time before sleep, and shhhhh her to pee.

Then it's tough luck--she will cry if she poops in her diaper, and I will change her, but no potty. Because like you, I can't really deal with endless potty trips at bedtime.

Good luck!

[sapphire_chan]

My sleep fighting toddler hasn't learned that trick, thank goodness, but I've heard of other people using a potty in the bedroom with the lights dim for those times.

[lisavark]

We did EC so have pottied from birth and pretty much never refused potty (although DD has rarely ever asked for it until recently, lol). My DD is a big sleep fighter and always has been. She has gone through brief periods of asking for potty at bedtime. I always take her if she asks to go. Then again, she always pees when I take her, and she usually doesn't stay on the potty for very long. But the asking-at-bedtime thing never lasted long--it kind of lost its appeal pretty quickly because I always kept the potty trip really short and uninteresting. If I were you, I would always take him when he asks, but I would just make the potty trip really short at bedtime: let him sit there for one minute, and then if he doesn't pee tell him that it looks like he doesn't need to pee and go back to bed.

And definitely a bedroom potty, too!

[Ruthla]

How about getting a "kitchen timer" to keep in the bathroom? Set it for 5 minutes, and if he hasn't peed or pooped after 3 or 5 minutes on the potty, then potty time is over. Obviously, he can stay there if he's in the middle of pooping when the timer goes off!

This way, if he truly needs to go, he'll still be making it to the potty when he first feels the urge and you're not interfering with his actual potty usage. But you're also keeping from spending the whole day in the bathroom reading books when he just wants to stall.

[Cartesia]

Yeah, I think the timer sounds good. I was just worried that if I said no to ANYTHING about the potty (including how long he wants to stay there) it might ruin the easy potty time we have been having.

Is this a silly worry?

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by Cartesia

Yeah, I think the timer sounds good. I was just worried that if I said no to ANYTHING about the potty (including how long he wants to stay there) it might ruin the easy potty time we have been having.

Is this a silly worry?

I don't think he'd be confused by night time potty and day time potty. I'd expect that having a shorter time at night would make the longer day time chances more special and fun.

[Eunoia]

Both of mine went through a phase while potty learning of sitting on the potty for what seemed like an unnecessary amount of time, but I think it was crucial in them learning to pee in the potty (poop was easier for both of them, as well). I didn't limit their amount of time on the potty, but I did leave and go do other things if I needed to, checking back frequently. And I was often surprised that after a period of doing this, they'd be on 15 minutes, then they'd pee! And get up looking very pleased! And the time gradually decreased for both.
On the other hand, my 2 year old, after being PL for 6 months at least, just discovered that he could get up from bed by saying he needed to poop, after a night of being sick and genuinely having to poop at night. So for that, I did just keep it uninteresting like a PP said. I don't want to say no to potty, but I'll sit him on it in the darkish bedroom and refuse entertainment. ("No, we can't read books on the potty right now, it's bedtime.) I'll sit next to him and exude sleepiness, . Like you, I could tell he was using it as an excuse, but I'm avoiding power struggles over potty issues like the plague, because he's two and everything else is turning into a power struggle!