Is non-circ'd really that difficult to deal with?

[HappyMommy2]

I was glad our "last" DD was a girl, so I didn't have to convince my hubby. I am a former pretty-much-mainstream mama ... now hbac-ing, extended breastfeeding, etc. and now am rethinking everything basically.

DH and DS are circ'ed. And we are pregnant. If this baby is a boy, I don't think I want to circ him. Since we won't be in the hospital, it won't be convenient. And I am pretty sure hubby won't search for a doc, make an appt., and take the baby in for surgery.

However - it seems like many of the threads here talk about how much work it is to deal with an un-circumsized child. Is it really a pain to deal with? Or is it just because that is what this forum is about? I never even think about my son's circ'd penis.

thanks!

[Tinijocaro]

It actually is much easier than caring for a baby girl-no crevices to clean out. Also easier than caring for a circ'd baby boy-no vaseline to apply, no skin to pull back at each diaper change.

The ONLY hard part about caring for an intact boy is keeping weel-meaning doctors, aunts, grandparents... from forcibly retracting your son. That's where the problems begin. Be vigilant and you will be fine.

No special care required for an intact boy, wash as you would a finger.

I have two intact boys-11 and 15 years old. Neither were retracted until it happened on it's own (perhaps with a bit of encouragement from the owner).

[AFWife]

Originally Posted by HappyMommy2

I was glad our "last" DD was a girl, so I didn't have to convince my hubby. I am a former pretty-much-mainstream mama ... now hbac-ing, extended breastfeeding, etc. and now am rethinking everything basically.

DH and DS are circ'ed. And we are pregnant. If this baby is a boy, I don't think I want to circ him. Since we won't be in the hospital, it won't be convenient. And I am pretty sure hubby won't search for a doc, make an appt., and take the baby in for surgery.

However - it seems like many of the threads here talk about how much work it is to deal with an un-circumsized child. Is it really a pain to deal with? Or is it just because that is what this forum is about? I never even think about my son's circ'd penis.

thanks!

Honestly, I'm glad you asked this because I haven't been brave enough to make the same post.

I know there's a "post if you've never had a problem" thread...but I don't have that kind of luck you know? My luck runs that I'd make the decision and "go against the grain" or whatever and then have a serious problem. Reading all of the posts about this problem and that infection and whatnot makes me nervous to NOT circ...

[LittleBattleAxe]

Easy as pie. No special care. As your son ages you will talk to him about retracting and cleaning, if you do have another son No special care needed. Not sure who talks about special care? I thought it was the circ'ed boys who needed extra care!

[brant31]

First off, cleaning is much easier. No wound. wash the outside. Never even attempt to clean under the foreskin; DS can do that when he's able. Up to then the intact penis is largely self-cleaning.

What you read on this forum is discussion of the development of a highly specialized part of a boy's anatomy. It is a truism that if you cut off a boy's foreskin, you're never going to experience its development and all the good it does for the glans, for nerve development, for healthy genital flora, for proper blood flow, its remarkable whorled muscle action in urination, etc etc.

Infant circumcision takes off half the skin of the penis. The functional half. What is left isn't very complex, meaning it also isn't terribly interesting. In circumcision the penis's normal developmental cocoon is gone, which sounds like it should simplify some things but actually just stunts several processes and complicates others.

The irony is that many parents choose circumcision to cut and forget, when in fact the far easier route is to leave intact and let nature take care of the rest. This forum discusses the learning curve/what to do when people fiddle with that process.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

This forum is the best resource on the net that I have seen for dealing with the intact penis. Because of that we get all the "problems" The odds of a boy with an intact penis having issues is very much lower than the risk of having issues with a circed one.

The vast majority of "problems" have nothing to do with the penis it has to do with ignorant dr. scaring parents when there is no reason. The issues that crop up are normal for some boys like separation things a little pain, swelling etc. Girls do not grow up pain free either we have painful breast buds we sometimes suffer with cramps when af comes around.

As a society we have lost the knowledge of the normal development process for intact boys so to us it is scary but in reality for millions of years boys went through the natural development of their bodies and knowing it was normal. Everyone around them knew it was normal and didnt freak out.

If you educate yourself on what might happen and how to fix it if it does then there is no reason to fear. You can protect your ds from Dr. who dont know anything but cutting and you can explain to your ds that what he is going through is normal and it will pass.

[eclipse]

This is the thing - there is potential for problems of one sort or another with both circ'd and uncirc'd penises. However, since this is a board dedicated to not circumcising, the only problems brought here are going to be about intact penises. I would also say that mothers of intact boys are less likely to go straight to the doctor when they have concerns about their son's penis - like pain urinating or redness - because they know that most peds in the US know very little about intact penises and what is normal and what is not, so they check with more experienced moms before deciding if a doctor's trip is warranted. The mom of a circ'd boy is not likely to have the same anxieties about bringing up penis issues with their ped. I really don't see many posts about "problems" here that are outside of things like pain urinating, sore tip, "doctor says my two year old needs circ because he's not retracting!", doctors retracting without permission or necessity, etc. What kind of problems are you seeing here that are concerning you?

Both of my boys are intact, so I've never had to deal with a circ'd penis as a parent or caregiver. But the thought of a baby having an open, painful wound around urine and feces really creeps me out. It seems like it's just asking for problems like infections and, well, pain. There is NO way caring for a newly circ'd boy is in anyway less problematic than caring for an intact penis. It really, really doesn't need any "care." You just wipe the poop off just like any other diaper covered part. The end. Nothing extra.

[glongley]

There is a really great article that was published in Mothering a few years ago about all the reasons a doctor might some time say a boy needs to be circumcised - and why its ALMOST NEVER SO!

http://mothering.com/health/protect-...advice-parents

The more educated you become, the more you see that all the "scare stories" associated with the normal, intact penis, are based on myths or misinformation, that the care of the intact penis is easy, and the occasional "problems" that may come up with the foreskin {well, after all, it IS a part of the body, and subject to the occasional problem just like any other body part} are either normal variations, easily prevented by common sense measures, or effectively treatable without surgery.

BTW, although you may not have had any problems with your circumcised son, a lot of parents are unpleasantly surprised to find that they have to deal with post-circumcision problems like adhesions (15-30%) and the inflammations, pain, and difficulty cleaning that that entails, or meatal stenosis (7-10%) where the urinary opening becomes inflamed, and then ulcerated and scarred over, often requiring surgical correction. Neither of these happens in intact boys!

You've definitely come to the right place for educating yourself to overcome fear of foreskins. Your inclination to protect your son is right on! Keep on reading and keep on asking questions. The more you know, the more comfortable and confident you will be in raising your son intact.

Gillian

[Sharlla]

2 intact boys and i gotta say cleaning dd is more work. i dont do anything special regarding cleaning the boys
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[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

Originally Posted by glongley

There is a really great article that was published in Mothering a few years ago about all the reasons a doctor might some time say a boy needs to be circumcised - and why its ALMOST NEVER SO!

http://mothering.com/health/protect-...advice-parents

The more educated you become, the more you see that all the "scare stories" associated with the normal, intact penis, are based on myths or misinformation, that the care of the intact penis is easy, and the occasional "problems" that may come up with the foreskin {well, after all, it IS a part of the body, and subject to the occasional problem just like any other body part} are either normal variations, easily prevented by common sense measures, or effectively treatable without surgery.

BTW, although you may not have had any problems with your circumcised son, a lot of parents are unpleasantly surprised to find that they have to deal with post-circumcision problems like adhesions (15-30%) and the inflammations, pain, and difficulty cleaning that that entails, or meatal stenosis (7-10%) where the urinary opening becomes inflamed, and then ulcerated and scarred over, often requiring surgical correction. Neither of these happens in intact boys!

You've definitely come to the right place for educating yourself to overcome fear of foreskins. Your inclination to protect your son is right on! Keep on reading and keep on asking questions. The more you know, the more comfortable and confident you will be in raising your son intact.

Gillian

I wanted to add to the bolded many circ complications dont show up until the boy/man starts to become sexually mature. To tight erections with pain for one. You have to remember that as they grow so will their penis and some boys end up with not nearly enough skin left after circ even though it looks like plenty when they are young.

They are born with the perfect amount of skin to grow into so that when they are adults everything works like it should.

[mamadelbosque]

We've never had issues w/ either boy, nor have we ever had issues w/ any doctors/grandmas/etc. Theres really nothing to deal with... you just wipe around the testicles, gently wipe the penis off if theres poopy, and poof! Done! Easy as pie

[Fyrestorm]

Originally Posted by MCatLvrMom2A&X

I wanted to add to the bolded many circ complications dont show up until the boy/man starts to become sexually mature. To tight erections with pain for one. You have to remember that as they grow so will their penis and some boys end up with not nearly enough skin left after circ even though it looks like plenty when they are young.

They are born with the perfect amount of skin to grow into so that when they are adults everything works like it should.

There are also adult effects that no one speaks of. As I've posted before...my DH has so far been through 2 surgeries to deal with meatal stenosis - most likely going to have to have a 3rd. I finally got his urologist to admit that it's totally because he's cut. It never would have happened in the first place had he been left intact.

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by AFWife

Honestly, I'm glad you asked this because I haven't been brave enough to make the same post.

I know there's a "post if you've never had a problem" thread...but I don't have that kind of luck you know? My luck runs that I'd make the decision and "go against the grain" or whatever and then have a serious problem. Reading all of the posts about this problem and that infection and whatnot makes me nervous to NOT circ...

I went against the grain and tried a HBA3C, and my son died, so I definitely get what you're saying here.

That said...I have two intact sons. I've never even thought about "dealing with" their penises. When they were in diapers, I wiped off their penises when I changed them. That's it. I've never really had to teach them anything, and the only problem I've ever had was when one of them was playing with a Rubik's Cube, naked, and caught his foreskin in it. We gently twisted it back, and that was that.

IME, care of an intact penis is a non-issue...probably one of the easiest aspects of parenting ever, really (even marginally easier than looking after a baby girl, as I never had to get poop out of the folds on my intact boys).

[Night_Nurse]

Originally Posted by AFWife

My luck runs that I'd make the decision and "go against the grain" or whatever and then have a serious problem. Reading all of the posts about this problem and that infection and whatnot makes me nervous to NOT circ...

If there ever is a real reason you think circumcision is medically right for your son, you can always have it done at a future date (seldom is a circ needed though).
In my two decades of nursing, I've never encountered a foreskin problem with an adult or child. Never once have I seen any injuries or infections. However, I have seen some really botched circ jobs on babies.
I think all the posts on here about "problems" mostly stem from two things: normal separation and doctors retracting boys.
A little redness/soreness/blood from separation can be normal and expected (just like a little cramping girls get with their periods). But in our society w/ many circed males, we don't know to expect this and that it doesn't warrant a visit to the doctor. So many mamas post about it here when they see it for the first time and get concerned.
Then the whole issues of doctors and nurses who try to retract and either confuse parents telling them they need to retract & clean, or when they do it to the poor baby and then injure him, so the parents come here asking for help.

We do get a few posts about uti's or yeast infections on occasion, but I'm sure there are just as many girls who get those things. I suspect if MDC had a sub-forum devoted to girl issues we'd read more about those.

Please don't be scared about foreskin issues. Most males with foreskins go their entire life without any issues. I think you'll find caring for an intact baby is very easy!

[ElliesMomma]

uh, it's not hard to take care of an intact baby boy's penis. and i don't see posts on MDC stating that it is.

i have yet to actually wash my son's penis per se. i give him a shower every night, wash his feet, hands and his butt, including to the back of his testicles -- the same spot that the poop accumulates when he uses his diapers. that's it, and there has never been any infection... absolutely no problems.

you do NOT retract a baby's foreskin (or a child's foreskin)... so there is really no work involved.

[texmati]

Originally Posted by AFWife

Honestly, I'm glad you asked this because I haven't been brave enough to make the same post.

I know there's a "post if you've never had a problem" thread...but I don't have that kind of luck you know? My luck runs that I'd make the decision and "go against the grain" or whatever and then have a serious problem. Reading all of the posts about this problem and that infection and whatnot makes me nervous to NOT circ...

so much easier! Also, please know that you aren't going against the grain by not having your baby boy circed-- most of the worlds men aren't.

I truly don't understand how circed could be easier to deal with. My girlfriends and I used to call the foreskin a 'wrapper'. So far with DS, I feel like I don't have to worry about being careful during washing/wiping ect because his 'wrapper' stays put! so easy, and so much cleaner than caring for an open wound.

[Friday13th]

I've said it before and I'll say it again, as a society we are conditioned to see the foreskin as this ticking time bomb of infection and disease. The majority of people leaving their sons intact don't have an intact adult in their life as an example and it's like they're doing this radical and risky thing. The foreskin, like the rest of the body, if left alone will do it's job, function correctly and not cause problems. Doctors and parents are quick to place blame on it when not called for.

So no, it is not hard to care for, assume it's okay unless it's clearly indicated otherwise (which almost never happens) Read up on what can happen during retraction because that's really commonly misunderstood and make sure your pediatrician keeps their hands to themselves.

[Mama2Kayla]

Honestly, I don't see my ds's intact penis any harder to care for than my dd's intact vagina. That's the way he was born and how it's supposed to work and function. It is what it is. I don't "what if" all day when changing his diaper because to me that is normal. Just like I wouldn't think about it being easier to clean my dd if she was circed. Foreskin or not, you have to wash/wipe their penis. Why would you cut something off a baby b/c you don't want to clean it?

Its just a foreskin. Like any other part of the body, it can have problems, but most of the time it works just fine .

[Attached2Elijah]

As a child care provider, I can tell you it's definitely EASIER then the circ'd penis. When baby is little, there is a LOT of care that is involved with the newly circ'd penis (cleaning, ointment, peepee tents, etc) ... with the intact penis, bring that baby home and wipe him up and be done with it. No special care needed. In almost 7 years, we have never had any issues with my son's. He takes a shower, washes it just like he would a finger and is done with it. He doesn't retract yet so there's no "cleaning under it" as the Doctor would like me to believe has to be done ... All you have to do is read up on it a little to know that you don't retract it, you basically just leave it alone.... what could be easier then that?

[larzanna]

To the OP.
I had the same concern before i had DS...the part about bad luck following me for sure!!
What i have seen is that this is THE PLACE for accurate info, so basically anyone who has a problem comes here, which is why it "seems" like there are a bunch of problems. Sort of like a Dr who treats cancer....must seem like EVERYONE has cancer, well, no, just everyone they treat. They don't hear about/see healthy people. Ya know.

But it ended up coming down to his body his choice. I can say i am SO SO SO SO freaking glad i left DS intact. BEST parenting decision i have made. I also am so glad to know that the cycle is broken (DH is cut), i am so happy that DS's future wife will have a whole partner. It is beyond easy to clean.

-L