Anyone choose NOT to celebrate Christmas? - Page 2

[childsplay]

I don't want to celebrate at all, nor does DH but I know the kids get into it so we'll do it, under certain conditions. We just discussed our new christmas rules the other night. Here they are in a nutshell:

While we'll still celebrate somewhat this year we're doing a 'practical' christmas. Meaning NO PLASTIC CRAP that I'll be throwing out the following August

We'll only attend the family functions that DON'T require ridiculous amounts of alchohol just to get through without wanting to impale myself on the artificial tree just to end the misery.

If my SIL and her wretched child are going to be there - we won't be.

If we're handed a schedule of events that we are required to attend we will leave the country purely out of spite.

If someone gives us (yet another) singing dancing Santa it will meet a simaler, but worse, fate than the last three have.

We'll not set foot in a mall after November 15'th.

That's about it. But we're kind of opting towards leaving the country.

[lolar2]

Going to a country where Christmas isn't commonly celebrated, you mean?

[childsplay]

Originally Posted by lolar2

Going to a country where Christmas isn't commonly celebrated, you mean?

No no.... we're thinking more of chartering a yacht in the Carribean. Just doing our own thing without the stress and extended family drama we end up in the middle of everytime we DON'T go away for Christmas.

[swd12422]

I agree w/ PPs who say your traditions don't have to be set in stone from year one. Your baby will never remember the first (or even second, possibly) Christmas anyway. You're putting a lot of pressure on yourself just to be able to say, "We did it exactly this way EVERY YEAR?" Things change. The kid might get chicken pox one year and there go all the plans for that Christmas. So you won't be able to say that anyway....

I'd let it go for now. It's early. Formulate in your head what you want to do for Christmas (i.e., just go to church, then have dinner on the living room floor next to the lit tree) and what you DON'T want (lots of stress to buy gifts, etc.). Come up with a plan that will fit what the holiday means to you. Obviously, if DH hates to shop for gifts, don't make him do it. Maybe just have one special gift for each person in the family. You can buy yours yourself. It won't be a surprise, but when your kids are old enough to understand and enjoy the spirit of the holiday, I bet he'll take them shopping and let them pick your gift. Or don't do gifts at all. Make charitable donations instead, or gifts only for the kids.

And there's no rule that says you have to share the holiday with anyone outside your household. No big extended family events if you want it to be about just celebrating the birth of Christ.

We don't do Christmas at all, but Thanksgiving is our big holiday. We used to have a great holiday tradition. We had all our family over for dinner (upwards of 35 people some years, once the middle generation started getting married). My mom and grandmother went all out and made the best dinner. We ate all day. The kitchen closed from breakfast at 10 sharp so they could work. Then at noon my mom would put out appetizers, cheese and crackers, etc. It was like a cocktail party there was so much food. And then dinner would be around 5 or 6, depending on how far people were traveling. I loved it.

But the second cousins all started their own traditions once their kids got older, the older generation started to dwindle, and it soon became just our family and my uncle's. That was fine. We all had a good time. Until I move away and my parents did, too. And the cousins finished school and now we all live in different states. My mom still does the dinner, but she leaves out the appetizers (always my favorite part) b/c "none of us needs the fat and cholesterol." Oh yeah? I DO, on that one day, anyway.

It makes me sad that our family holidays aren't the same as they used to be. But my son has a great time and doesn't know how much better it used to be (to me). And as my mom gets older and can't do all the work anymore (she won't let me help -- she likes doing it all herself) I'll take over and things will change again. And the first order of change will be the huge appetizers all afternoon!

I guess I could have spared you all the reading to say, make the holiday what works for your new little family.