Surprised by M comment - anyone actually experienced this?

[olien]

My very limited background with M:
My LO just turned 2 & not in any type of daycare or school. I really like the theorys behind M schooling & we have incorporated a lot of M ideas in our home. If we dont Hschool then we will go with M. I am actually thinking of sending my DS for 2 days a week (2.5hrs ea) to see how he likes it & grows from the experience.

Anyway, I was with my HMN group the other day & after listening to another moms concerns with the public school system, I asked her if she ever considered M schooling. Her comment to me was: 'people use m schools now for their developmentally delayed kids' I said is that what they are doing? She said 'the schools dont advertise this way, but that was the main reason people send their kids there' I was quite taken aback.

now, I have been lurking on these boards long enough to think other wise, but at the same time have no actual formal M experience.

What are your opinions on her comments?

[bluebunny]

Does she mean that your local Montessori schools cater to students with developmental delays? I'm not sure how to take the comment. From the way you wrote it, it sounds rather offensive.

My understanding is that Dr. Montessori started her "method" when working with children with special needs, delays, etc. Her method caught on and has been used for children with a range of abilities for years.

I guess I don't understand the commenter's background to know why that (dev delayed kids being at Montessori) matters.

[GuildJenn]

I have heard similar comments about private schools in general -- to stay away from them because that's where all the kids with problems show up.

I get so infuriated. I do get there may be a concern about resources but I really think it's mostly just prejudice and ignorance.

The kids at our Montessori are great and probably more normal than a normal kindergarten, but when there have been kids with differences (there was a kid with autism) it's really only been...well I think it's equally weird to call it a 'plus' but it was definitely not negative.

If I did have a developmentally delayed child I might choose a Montessori both because it's not competitive and kids work at their own pace, and also because of the peaceful approach to respect and compassion and conflict solving. But I see no anecdotal evidence that everyone is flocking there. Also, Montessori is expensive.

[lach]

I've never heard that. Perhaps there is a specific trend to a school in your area, or perhaps she is confusing it with something else. Where I am, parents with children with developmental delays go public (even if siblings are in private) because the services are very good in public school and nonexistent in private.

[MattBronsil]

Smile and tell them, "No. Haven't you heard? It's for the gifted students."

Montessori is interesting. You hear the following comments the same number of times if you're in it long enough:

--It's only for poor people.
--It's only for the rich that can afford it.
--It's only for students with developmental problems.
--It's only for students who are developmentally advanced.
--It's only for children who have mental retardation.
--It's only for children who have IQs over 220. (Or a similar number to show genius status).
--It's only for children that cannot control themselves and need more structure in the environment.
--It's only for children who have enough self control to thrive in that environment.
--It's only for children that cannot concentrate.
--It's only for children who can concentrate really well.

The list goes on and on. Think of any opposite idea and people have tried applying BOTH of them to Montessori in some way.

The reality is, if you take out the word "only" in the statements above, it is all true. Montessori is for every child. The fact that there are so many quite opposing ideas is more a testament to that fact than a hindrance.

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by bluebunny

My understanding is that Dr. Montessori started her "method" when working with children with special needs, delays, etc. Her method caught on and has been used for children with a range of abilities for years.

Yep, she started with delayed, and institutionalized, children and very very quickly got them to the point where they could pass the same school tests the typical children took. And when she was praised for doing so much with them she basically wondered what on earth was wrong with the schools that typical kids, with no delays, weren't doing better.

So she got a group of typical children and refined her method. And there was the first Casa dei Bambini

Even if it were where all the kids with some kind of trouble went, it wouldn't matter nearly as much as in a public school. It's not as if everyone has to sit and wait for everyone to be quiet and listen.

[BCFD]

Originally Posted by GuildJenn

If I did have a developmentally delayed child I might choose a Montessori both because it's not competitive and kids work at their own pace, and also because of the peaceful approach to respect and compassion and conflict solving. But I see no anecdotal evidence that everyone is flocking there. Also, Montessori is expensive.

Matt....as always

[carmel23]

Well, we like our Montessori school because everyone is treated like an individual.

And for the gifted kid-- which in a lot of ways, gifted education *is* special education--it is a great place to be and not feel like a freak. For any kid who doesn't fit the mold, it is a great place to be (and no kids "fit the mold" that is the sad thing!).

[olien]

Originally Posted by bluebunny

Does she mean that your local Montessori schools cater to students with developmental delays? I'm not sure how to take the comment. From the way you wrote it, it sounds rather offensive.
I guess I don't understand the commenter's background to know why that (dev delayed kids being at Montessori) matters.

She was saying that her children are so advanced for their age that public school may be a hinderance to them. So, her comment about Montessori was a negative one. Like... I must be kidding for suggesting that since they are advanced... that type of school is for the delayed kid.

Originally Posted by GuildJenn

I have heard similar comments about private schools in general -- to stay away from them because that's where all the kids with problems show up.

I get so infuriated. I do get there may be a concern about resources but I really think it's mostly just prejudice and ignorance.

The kids at our Montessori are great and probably more normal than a normal kindergarten, but when there have been kids with differences (there was a kid with autism) it's really only been...well I think it's equally weird to call it a 'plus' but it was definitely not negative.

I so agree with this!

[mamalemon]

While I do not believe at all that Montessori is a draw for children with special needs, I do think that it is a great fit. It is a great fit for ALL kids of varying needs and abilities because they are treated as individuals and educated as such. Our school runs an interesting integration program that brings children with special needs in to the classroom and in to guided play groups after school. This is one of my very favorite things about the school. My kids gain lessons in empathy, patience, and human connection by learning how to tailor their communication to others' abilities. I love hearing my kids say "Jake understands me better when I talk quietly and look in his eyes." Or "Abbey hit me, but it is because she doesn't know it hurts. She is still learning and I am helping her!" These sorts of lessons are just as important as reading or writing but are often overlooked.

If this woman was my friend, I would tell her that I hoped their were all kinds of children in a Montessori school, because life isn't homogeneous and school should be a fully represented community.

[kittykat2481]

Originally Posted by mamalemon

While I do not believe at all that Montessori is a draw for children with special needs, I do think that it is a great fit. It is a great fit for ALL kids of varying needs and abilities because they are treated as individuals and educated as such. Our school runs an interesting integration program that brings children with special needs in to the classroom and in to guided play groups after school. This is one of my very favorite things about the school. My kids gain lessons in empathy, patience, and human connection by learning how to tailor their communication to others' abilities. I love hearing my kids say "Jake understands me better when I talk quietly and look in his eyes." Or "Abbey hit me, but it is because she doesn't know it hurts. She is still learning and I am helping her!" These sorts of lessons are just as important as reading or writing but are often overlooked.

If this woman was my friend, I would tell her that I hoped their were all kinds of children in a Montessori school, because life isn't homogeneous and school should be a fully represented community.

I agree with you. That sounds like a lovely school.

I guess I just don't understand why the fact that a school has special needs children there is a bad thing. Obviously the OP's friend thinks it's some sort of remedial school or something. Her comment was offensive to me, and my child doesn't have "special needs". Of course, he does have needs that are special to him, and his M school meets those perfectly.

[Nickarolaberry]

Wow, that's kind of obnoxious.

I am a Montessori educator now, and I must say that the beauty and wonder of the Montessori path is that it truly does follow the child -- if your child is gifted, s/he can pursue learning that works for her/him; similarly if a child is challenged, the child can experience learning at his or her own pace in a way that allows for that.

Plus, the emphasis on peace (in the classroom, in the world, etc.) and conflict resolution; inclusion and compassion; and acceptance of others really does make a difference.

An example: I am an educator in a middle school learning environment (7th/8th). Many of my students have been together since kindergarten in this Montessori. One of my students last year was on the spectrum and experienced difficulty with managing the temper when beset with frustration. This student had an outburst of yelling one day (near to graduation, it was overwhelming for this person). The other student involved stepped away and remained calm (actually a huge thing for this kid who sometimes also tended to temper). Other kids in the class said, "well, at least X used words and not hands! That was a good thing!"



I'm not saying it's perfect (middle schoolers still are given to temper, social drama, etc.) but it's a far cry from what they would encounter in a traditional mainstream setup. And clearly they have absorbed some very important values. In this learning environment there are kids who are extremely gifted, and kids who are very challenged. They all thrive.

[imagine21]

Originally Posted by GuildJenn

I have heard similar comments about private schools in general -- to stay away from them because that's where all the kids with problems show up.

Private schools can pick and choose which students will attend and can and will kick any kid out at any time. The public schools must by law serve everyone. As a public high school teacher for many years, the problem kids always end up in public school environments.

[3belles]

Oh dear, a misconception. Throw a pamphlet her way

[AllyRae]

We have a son with autism, and we send him to Montessori because it works very well for him! But, out of 50 kids in his school, he's one of only 3 on an IEP there. So yeah, the school is mostly all neurodevelopmentally on target kids, with just a couple there with IEPs (and all of them are for high functioning autism).

The person you're talking to is completely off base.

[RiverTam]

Yes, I've had this comment made to me. Our Montessori school has the reputation among the poorer, less educated section of the community as being a "special school" for "special kids."

On the other end of the scale, the school has a very good reputation in the better educated and wealthy section of our community, as a school that is good for gifted students. I had one mother tell me that Montessori will "make your child test gifted."

As a PP said... our school's reputation is all over the place.

[GuildJenn]

Originally Posted by imagine21

Private schools can pick and choose which students will attend and can and will kick any kid out at any time. The public schools must by law serve everyone. As a public high school teacher for many years, the problem kids always end up in public school environments.

Just to be clear, I totally agree with you. Not to mention that private schools are expensive. I think those statements are...odd.

[chekhovgirl]

This is a common misconceptoin, don't know why...but it's not true.

[eepster]

That's so weird. DS's has no SN students b/c they all go to the public programs that provide therapies integrated into the classes for free.

There was a girl in DS's class the year before last who had a speech delay. She got an evaluation from early intervention and qualified for the public preschool program and moved to that. So, DS's school just can't keep SN students when they are always offered free services.

[sparklett]

This might be true, but it's a GOOD thing to send "special needs" kids to M schools. My niece is extremely delayed. She is bright, sweet, and absolutely wonderful, but has been sequestered in a public school special-ed class since kindergarten. She's now in 2nd grade and has no little girlfriends since all of the kids in her class are boys who are extremely special needs. If her parents had chosen a M for her instead, she would be in a class with her true peers and could develop friendships and allow her other amazing talents to flourish. So for her, an M would have been a MUCH better choice.

On the flip side, I chose M for DS becuase he is an accelerated learner. If I put him in a mainstream preschool, he'd be stuck learning colors, numbers, and the alphabet when he's already reading and doing basic math. So for DS, M is a great choice for his "special needs" as well!

Overall, it sounds like there are some definite misconceptions going on in your community.