Toxic family/restraining my toddler

[Magali]

My sister told me something that really made my blood boil. She was watching my son at my mom's house and my 2 uncles, aunt and grandma popped over. My son did not want to be in the same room as my uncles etc...he has only met them a handful of times and it always takes him a bit to warm up to people. He is 3. So he came down into the living room and saw all these strange people down there and wanted to leave. But my uncle blocked his way and would not let him leave the room. My son started screaming and crying and threw himself down on floor. He still wasn't allowed to leave. My sister picked him up and my aunt got one picture of him and them my sister said "ok let him leave". I do not blame my sister for this at all. She said that she felt very intimidated by the uncles and was caught off gaurd. But I am PISSED at this uncle who did that to my son. We didn't see him the rest of the trip, and I am glad because dh was planning on giving him a piece of his mind. We don't see these guys all to often and they are brothers of my dad who passed away last year. We are trying to cut them out of our lives, but they are slow at taking the hint. It is hard trying to have a relationship with my grandma (I love her), while staying away from her sons.

Anyways, aside from my dh, I don't think anyone else in my family understands how awful it makes me feel that someone restrained my son like that . It totally goes against how dh and I parent. Does anyone else here agree with us that treating a 3 year old like that is mean? I know it isn't going to scar him for life, and I am more upset about it than he is. But still...

[mama2rey]

I would be angry too. What your uncle did was totally inappropriate.

[simple life]

I totally agree with you. It was awful of them to do and totally disrespectful of your sons humanity. I have found that in general, most of our society really lacks a respect for children. I doubt those uncles of would have wanted to be restrained like that, especially by people they are scared of. People just think that kids should 'deal with it'. Well if you as an ADULT aren't willing to deal with it, why should a small child who is completely defenseless have to deal with it?

I'm so sorry that happened to your son.

[LCBMAX]

I would have such a hard time not lashing out about that. It was mean, plain and simple. Bullying is not ok!

[Thing1Thing2]

I don't have any advice for you, but so sorry to hear about what happened. Some people really feel the need to put themselves in a position of power over children. I have people in my family like that too.

[marispel]

I guess I could see my brothers blocking an exit for my DS if he was trying to "escape", but the difference is that they would be saying something like...Hey G, it's OK we just want to get a picture....that would be different and they are not toxic people at all....of course if I was in the room, I would have done as your sister did and pick him up to encourage a quick photo.

[Xerxella]

You're right. But, I don't think I'd confront the uncle. As PP said, some people feel the need to dominate children. (They should do as I say, because I say so.) But, since you don't have much contact I'd let it go and try to be around if you're visting that uncle again.

[sleepingbeauty]

I can't even imagine how pissed off you must feel. *I* am pissed off and it wasn't even my kid that this happened to! When a child is scared and wants to leave no one (ESPECIALLY someone they are afraid of) should trap them like some sort of animal. NO. ONE.

Is your son ok now? Poor little guy...

[Magali]

Thanks everyone. My boy is 100% ok. I'm not going to bother saying anything to this uncle. I'll just let it go (just like the other 100 or so things I have let go with my dad's family). He is just a controlling type and I guess I know now to make sure I never leave my ds alone with him. While he was making my little guy cry, dh and I were circling the block a few times in hopes they would leave. I only went in because my sis was suffering wicked bad morning sickness and I felt sorry for her having to deal with those guys by herself. We live across the country and will maybe see them once a year. My Uncle was a school principal...he has a wonderful way with children don't you think?