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When are you going to tell?

post #1 of 29
Thread Starter 
I want to tell NOW. DH is like "We can't tell people you're '4 weeks' nobody does that." I have a friend who posted a photo of the + test immediately on facebook so people do but since DH hates FB I couldn't use that as my reasoning. lol. Going for bloodwork today because I had low progesterone with the last two and may need to take prometrium again. SO once I get the BIG + from the bloodwork I'll really want to tell. DH said 8 weeks. But that's still 4 weeks away I'm not a very patient person. I was already looking at baby clothes online yesterday...
post #2 of 29
We told at 6 weeks with my 2nd pg, and I only waited those extra 2 weeks because we wanted to fudge the due date and I didn't want anyone to figure it out. After 2 m/cs though, I prefer to keep it a secret for as long as possible.

So this time the plan is to tell family around 14 weeks. We have an ultrasound at 8 weeks and an appointment to listen with the doppler at 12, so if both those go well and I make it past the first trimester, we'll let DH's parents, my dad, our siblings, and possibly our grandparents all know (my mom and sister already know out of necessity).

Then I'm planning to wait until 20-21 weeks to make it completely public at church and on Facebook and all that. If I start showing too much that might not be possible, but I'm going to wait as long as I can this time.
post #3 of 29
At this point, I'm actually waiting until I'm 6w and see a heartbeat before even telling my dh. I've had 6 early losses so I'm very gunshuy about telling anyone right away. My dh has hard time believing I was really pg when I have a 4-5w loss so I prefer not to tell him too soon. I told everyone very early once and then had to go back and tell everyone to nevermind. When I got pg last May I thought I was safe once I got past 6w since all my previous miscarriages had occurred before then so I began to tell. I miscarried at 11w and, again, had to go back and tell people I wasn't going to have a baby after all. That was horrible. So if I make it far enough, I will tell everyone else in my family once I get out of the first trimester.
post #4 of 29
This is such a tough one for me...
We waited until about 11 weeks (heard heartbeat with doppler) to tell anyone with DD and even then I was very hesitant. With this one, I have told a few of my close mom-friends (mainly because I am starting to gather info on local HB midwives), and I think we are going to wait until we hopefully see/hear a heartbeat at my first appt. at 7 weeks to make the big announcement. I was adamant about not getting an early ultrasound with this pregnancy, but honestly, I need it for my own peace of mind.
post #5 of 29
Originally Posted by allical1284 View Post
I was adamant about not getting an early ultrasound with this pregnancy, but honestly, I need it for my own peace of mind.
That's how I was with my pg in May 2009. I was adamant about not only not getting an early u/s but also not taking all the other crap I had taken in the past when pg to sustain it. I really wanted a normal, natural, unmedicated pg. I miscarried at 11w. Since I didn't get an early u/s I don't know if my baby ever had a heartbeat. I did get an u/s about a week before I miscarried because I just knew something was wrong. From measurements, the doc said it looked like the baby stopped developing at about 8w but there's no way to know for sure. So I need an early u/s this time for peace of mind. Although, I'm not even sure if seeing a heartbeat at 6-7w will ease my mind since I don't know if my last May baby had a heartbeat before dying. Ugh!
post #6 of 29
I'm getting an early u/s tomorrow at 5w2d and then we will tell our immediate family. I will probably tell everyone else at 8w.
post #7 of 29
I told wit my first two within 12 hours of getting a positive.

With this one I am at 7 weeks and no one knows. We are waiting at least till after my brother's wedding on the 21st, but possibly until the second trimester in September. It hasn't been too bad not telling yet, though I do have to be careful when talking to my Mom so I don't tell her.
post #8 of 29
We'll wait until we see the heartbeat at 7/8 weeks. We'll tell immediate family then. One good friend already knows and I'll tell my sister but our parents are going to freak so I'm going to try and avoid that for awhile. I can't wait until too long because I'd lost a lot of weight but I get super poochy really fast so it's pretty obvious.
post #9 of 29
I am DYING to tell my mom. dh wants me to wait though, so reluctantly, i haven't told anyone except my online friends that knew we've been TTC. I want to go ahead and try to get an appointment set up with a midwife here, but he wants me to wait on that too. We don't have a history of early losses, but I guess it's better to be a little cautious.
post #10 of 29
Originally Posted by gagin37 View Post
We don't have a history of early losses, but I guess it's better to be a little cautious.
I think most practitioners wait until you are at least 9 weeks for the first appointment unless you have a history of losses.
post #11 of 29
we just told our immediate family this past weekend. i am 5 weeks. I told DH I couldnt wait until 8 weeks like we said(mc in march)...so we didnt I dont hold secrets like that very well
post #12 of 29
I told my aunt, good friend (who was there when I got my BFP), and my mom (who has Alzheimers so she doesn't remember, so I tell her every day and it makes her really happy). Everybody else we are waiting. DH will probably tell his parents in the next month or so, and other friends and work won't know until I start to show, since getting pregnant is frowned upon where I work.
post #13 of 29
Thread Starter 
Well I couldn't hold it in. Told 2 friends this morning. Now atleast I have someone IRL to complain to when I start feeling sick. Planning on making the big announcement around 8 weeks.
post #14 of 29
Oh man...always the question...when to tell...
I think aside from one or two VERY close friends (oh, and the whole internet via MDC), we'll keep this under wraps until the 1st trimester is over. We did that with our first two, but when I got pg in January, I wanted to tell my mom and more people sooner...so I told them around 6 or 7 weeks and seriously regretted it when I miscarried at 12. Especially when I went to my sisters' wedding two months ago and realized my mom told a LOT of other people that I hadn't given her permission to tell...so I had to be reminded about my mc by them too.
So yeah...I think we'll take the more private approach this time around. Even though it's HARD not to call up a few friends RIGHT THIS SECOND just because the "need to process! Now!" urge is very strong. :-)
post #15 of 29
We told our parents this weekend and will probably tell siblings this week. It's earlier than I'd like to tell siblings (5w) but I just can't see my MIL keeping from going insane if DH's sisters won't know yet (they all live in same town). I figured, if we do m/c, these are the folks that would know about that.

So, for the rest, and for our church where my husband is pastor, I will wait until we hear a heartbeat, so between 10-12 weeks unless I cannot hide it.
post #16 of 29
I told one friend Saturday night because she caught me off guard and I'm a terrible liar. I don't see her often though (it had been over two years). Other friends we'll probably wait until 2nd Trimester. We aren't close to any family so they might find out around Christmas? I don't know, maybe I'll feel obligated to tell them sooner. I'll wait it out and see how we feel later.
post #17 of 29
cat's out of the bag for my husband and I. We're young, and maybe stupid.... but hopefully we won't have made a mistake telling anyone! I only told close friends and family when we first found out (at 3.5 weeks).
post #18 of 29
I am a horrible secret keeper, too! I told everyone I work with (I'm a labor nurse- its hard to keep stuff like that when you deal with pregnant women and babies all day!) and I told a few close friends. I also told the lady at the daycare, and someone at the gym. UGH! I'm bad at this! and then my dad called last night. I don't talk to him much so I told him. yeah...really bad at this!! DH wants to wait to tell his family, except I am really close to his sister and so well, she knows. But the rest of his family doesn't. Which is wierd because his mom was the 1st person we told with the other 2. He says he wants to wait until the u/s.... SEPTEMBER 27!!!!! 12 weeks, yeah, I'll never make it. So maybe at 8 weeks? The exciting part will be to tell the girls that they will be big sisters. Can't wait to tell them. Not sure when we will do that.
post #19 of 29
I've told one close friend IRL. The rest will wait until I start to show. My family is never very thrilled (who knows why...) and DH's family is always over the moon, but we feel like it's unfair to tell one family before the other. It'll probably be around 16 weeks, after I've seen the mw and heard a heartbeat. I have another friend who is going through infertility, so I'm praying that she gets pg before I have to announce!
post #20 of 29
Thread Starter 
Originally Posted by donutmolly View Post
I have another friend who is going through infertility, so I'm praying that she gets pg before I have to announce!
Me too. That is so hard. And I know how they feel because it took us awhile (and a bit of help) to concieve DS. All my friends were having honeymoon babies and we'd been married longer and had been TTC.
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