If you circed one but not the other

[~Megan~]

What made you decide not to circ the other boys?

I have a friend with an almost 2 yo that they circed and she is having another in July. They didn't find out the gender this time though.
I was wondering how I should approach the issue with her. They circed the oldest because the Dr approached it as a "its your choice" issue. So they know there is no medical reason to do it, her dh just wanted to.
I don't want to push her away but I want her to have the info.

[Sarah]

There is a great website with some stories published... some really heartwrenching stories from parents who had circumcised and regret it, many of them vow to never circumcise again- and the running theme seems to be people who were willing to listen to their hearts instead of walling themselves off to negative feelings about what was going down.

http://www.circumcisionquotes.com/mothers.html

I just wanted to offer you the link so that you could see those stories in addition to any stories shared from moms here. They might help you figure out what it is that you would like to say to your friend.

I don't think supporting a friend is ever an unwelcome gesture. Your support might be the very thing she needs.

Love Sarah

[wende]

nak show her this...http://www.infocirc.org/MensHlth.htm

[~Megan~]

I think circumcision is horrible but I don't think scare tactics are the way to go with most people. Even though I know the photos are accurate.
I rather appeal to her intelligence.

And I'd really like to hear from moms who have made this decision to find out what convinced you.

[grisandole]

Well, when I had it done to ds1, I knew it was a mistake, it was awful, and I knew I would never do it to another child.

The only reason I had ds1 circed was because I was weak minded, and really wanted the best for him, which I thought at the time would be circing so that he would "fit in". I was a bit torn about it, becasue I had read that it was painful and there weren't any real medical benefits. I chose poorly.

If you could find info that state the harm of circing, I think that would be helpful. All the info I had at that time was that circing didn't have benefits; but I didn't know about the harm it did, does that make sense? Had I had that info, I wouldn't have circed ds1. And, if anyone had talked to me about it, I wouldn't have.


HTH

Kristi

[Xenogenesis]

Originally posted by amarasmom
And I'd really like to hear from moms who have made this decision to find out what convinced you.

This did: Advice From A Doctor

[Ligmom]

What changed my mind and made me decide not to circ any future sons was finding out that not only were there no medical reasons TO circ....there are medical reasons NOT to circ. I read a lot (mostly here and links posted here), and what I discovered changed my mind, thankfully.

I have posted about this subject in the sticky thread at the top of this forum. There are lots of good posts in that thread. Please let us know what your friend decides

[mattemma04]

//

[mattemma04]

//

[Frankly Speaking]

Originally posted by mattemma04
If the dh is the one who wanted to do it(you said he wanted it),then it is that person that needs to be convinced.

It is not that person who needs to be convinced, it is that person who needs to do the convincing. They are advocating surgery for a newborn that is perfect and whole. They are advocating surgery against the recommendations of all medical fraternities of the world. They are advocating surgery on a new born that has known attendant risks and no known benefits. If they are going to advocate, they have to provide proof that this is in the best interest of the child and that any benefit they propose be proven and that that benefit is well worth the risks that include death.

I will categorically state that that can't be done!





Frank

[QueeTheBean]

DS#1 was circ'd in 1998. DS#2 was born in 2002 and was NOT circ'd.

We thought about not doing it with #1, and the ped. we interviewed was not pushy about it at all one way or the other.

I am simplifying this, but here goes. At that time, the AAP was still saying there may be some benefit to circ that outweighed the risks, so we went with that. By the time #2 showed up, they stopped that recommendation. I forget the exact wording, but basically, that there was no medical reason whatsoever to perform circ. That was enough for me & DH.

I am so happy with our decision. DS#2 has the "normal looking" penis to me now--I just don't think a thing of it! And so far, no one has said anything negative to us (though they did before he was born, mind you).

[QueeTheBean]

Oh--and the issue of the boys looking different from one another has not been a problem. I was worried about it at first (and even posted here!), but the only times it comes up is when the boys are in the tub together. DS#1 asks why DS#2's penis looks different. We just said that everyone's bodies are different. When they are older, they'll get a different explanation, but for now, that has been all there is to it!

I'm more worried that I'll have "'splainin'" to do to DS#1 than to DS#2, but hopefully, he'll understand!