So as most of you know this pregnancy has been stressful. My baby is going to be here on Friday and all I can think about is "thank god this is all going to be over" and being so nervous and scared about the dang spinal. I am not in the least worried about the section itself, just about the spinal. I had one last time and I'm pretty sure it wasn't that bad, but for some reason I am freaking out about it now. I am also not looking forward to the hospital stay. I HATE hospitals and feel so uncomfortable there. I keep trying to tell myself just to make the best of it but I am no good at talking myself into anything. Everyone around me is soooo excited about this baby and honestly, the baby is the last thing on my mind. I can't even get excited about meeting him. This will be his birthday and I am just not happy about it. I can't get past the section and the hospital stay long enough to even think about meeting him, seeing him, kissing him, holding him. I'm sorry for the rant, but I just don't feel like I can talk to anyone about this.
I had a major breakdown today. I already had issues with my MIL being a wench a while ago when DH asked them to wait until the next day to come. She told us that if we didn't want them up there the same day, then maybe they shouldn't come at all. That maybe nobody should come see the baby. Then today, I explained to my sister that there was no point in her taking time off from work because my section wasn't until lunch time, so by the time they get started it will probably be 12:30, 1:30 by the time I am in recovery and 2:30 by the time I get out of recovery and that we want to spend some time with the baby before everyone comes up, so she could come up after work/supper. She told me "whatever, we just wont bother coming til Saturday then", in a snotty voice. I kind of lost it on her. Told her I have to have freaking surgery and that when DD was born I was totally left out of everything. While I was in surgery/recovery, my whole family was there holding and seeing my daughter before I even got to. Then there's my mom. She thought she would be waiting at the hospital with DD while I had my section. I had to tell her last night that I wanted her to stay at home with DD and that we would call when we wanted them up. That I wanted to be there when DD meets her new baby brother for the very first time. She was totally, completely understanding, but I feel as though I hurt her feelings (even though didn't).
Anyways, just needed to get this stuff off my chest. Thank you to anyone who read this.
I had a major breakdown today. I already had issues with my MIL being a wench a while ago when DH asked them to wait until the next day to come. She told us that if we didn't want them up there the same day, then maybe they shouldn't come at all. That maybe nobody should come see the baby. Then today, I explained to my sister that there was no point in her taking time off from work because my section wasn't until lunch time, so by the time they get started it will probably be 12:30, 1:30 by the time I am in recovery and 2:30 by the time I get out of recovery and that we want to spend some time with the baby before everyone comes up, so she could come up after work/supper. She told me "whatever, we just wont bother coming til Saturday then", in a snotty voice. I kind of lost it on her. Told her I have to have freaking surgery and that when DD was born I was totally left out of everything. While I was in surgery/recovery, my whole family was there holding and seeing my daughter before I even got to. Then there's my mom. She thought she would be waiting at the hospital with DD while I had my section. I had to tell her last night that I wanted her to stay at home with DD and that we would call when we wanted them up. That I wanted to be there when DD meets her new baby brother for the very first time. She was totally, completely understanding, but I feel as though I hurt her feelings (even though didn't).
Anyways, just needed to get this stuff off my chest. Thank you to anyone who read this.
I think the extended family is being completely unreasonable. This is your time to bond with your baby, husband, and daughter. Everyone else just needs to understand that. It will be nice to have that alone time. You have enough to worry about with out their childish behavior! This birth isn't about them it is about you! You need to spend this time working through your fears and making peace with the birth. Good Luck mama! Will keep you in my thoughts.
for making you feel bad because your surgery and birth doesn't fit into their preferred schedule.
) and that your day is very special, and that you are able to work through your fears a little before then..those of us who have had a scheduled c-section can truly relate to the fear leading up to it. We're here for you, and I can't wait to read your birth story and see pictures of that gorgeous baby!
And it totally is the most right thing in the world. I'm really glad you are sticking up for yourself and your right to bond with your child. I'm glad you are such a strong mother.
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