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Is there such a thing as too much exposure when it comes to NIP? - Page 2

post #21 of 107
Quote:
Originally Posted by eclipse View Post
Honestly, it pisses me off that women are ever expected to cover up their chest when men can go topless mowing the lawn in their front yard. So, no, I don't think there's such a thing as too much exposure. It's a breast. Big deal.
yeah the double standard angers me. I dont understand it, esp since I have seen plenty of men with breasts
post #22 of 107
Quote:
Originally Posted by SubliminalDarkness View Post
Not when the exposure is the breast. If the mom is taking off her pants to breastfeed, then ok, I could see where the problem may be.


just imagining how that would go over with my 3 month old. "Hang in there, little dude, mama's gotta take her pants off before we can nurse" That would not go over well with him at all! His patience is taxed when it comes to lifting up my shirt and undoing my bra strap!
post #23 of 107
Quote:
Originally Posted by PatioGardener View Post
just imagining how that would go over with my 3 month old. "Hang in there, little dude, mama's gotta take her pants off before we can nurse" That would not go over well with him at all! His patience is taxed when it comes to lifting up my shirt and undoing my bra strap!
lol!!! am I the only one who routinely takes of my pants to nurse?

Now that I'm pregnant, I can't stand the weight of the baby and the nubbiness of my jeans digging into me while nursing. I take off my pants first thing.
post #24 of 107
IMO, when women go over the top for a nurse in, and expose way more than necessary, that is doing nothing for the cause, and only more alienating.
post #25 of 107
You know it's funny, I nursed my son until he was nearly 3 and in this time we had a friend with a boy DS's age. I cannot tell you how many times I would look up while friend was walking around with both boobs unlatched from the nursing bra swinging to and fro. She would then say "Now where's my son?" and go look for him with boobs hanging out. In public, at home wherever. It always shocked me.
post #26 of 107
Quote:
Originally Posted by eclipse View Post
Honestly, it pisses me off that women are ever expected to cover up their chest when men can go topless mowing the lawn in their front yard. So, no, I don't think there's such a thing as too much exposure. It's a breast. Big deal.
I agree in theory and no amount of breast exposure bothers me, personally. Most of my friends and I have always changed clothes in front of each other, and in our homes, we nurse or even pump in front of each other as well without much effort to cover up. I think in your own home, regardless of who is over, you should be able to do whatever you want. In my home, I make it very clear that there is no covering up or room-leaving expected for nursing mothers and I've shut other guests right up if they even hint at objecting. I used to have a big breastfeeding poster in my kitchen, I should get another one.

That said, I do think if you're exposing the entire breast and nipple in public before/after nursing for no other reason than laziness or shock value or something, it's bizarre. I wouldn't do it. I wouldn't be offended by it, but I'd worry someone was really opening themselves up to harassment with that type of display.
post #27 of 107
Oh my, that is a complicated question. It's opens things up for judgments on both sides (Not saying that anyone here is judging! Just saying in general)

Ideally IMO if men can be topless, so can women. I actually really hate seeing men topless, it makes me kind of uncomfortable. Women would too, but that very very rare for me to see. So I guess in my world ideally everyone's clothes would be on But yes, equality would be nice. In NYS I believe woman can be topless.

Side note:
"New York is the only state in the country where women can be topless legally, after a 1992 ruling in the state's highest court. That means any woman can walk around the city at any time with no shirt on."

Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/ny_local/...#ixzz0wNYyRqT9



I guess my personal comfort level is baby's head/nursing shirt or whatever covers most things, but if there's a little bit more breast, or a flash of a nipple, not a big deal. But that's just me.
It's such a slippery slope, saying that women should be considerate of others. Some people don't want to see nipple, some don't want to see any breast, some don't want to even know a woman is breastfeeding,
so I think the laws are fine when they state that exposure from breastfeeding won't be considered lewd. Better to have "excessive exposure" legal than not even be able to nurse in public.

Personally, I'd be low-exposure I'll nurse in public, but no one is seeing my breasts.
post #28 of 107
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaxinator View Post
It's such a slippery slope, saying that women should be considerate of others. Some people don't want to see nipple, some don't want to see any breast, some don't want to even know a woman is breastfeeding,
This. If you start saying a woman can't expose her whole breast, then where do you draw the line? How much is 'too much'?

I believe in modesty -- it's a moral obligation for me, though I'm sure I'm far from perfect in fulfilling it, I'm still learning. To me, the definition of modesty varies greatly depending on culture, gender, fashion trends, who you're hanging around, etc. In some cultures, feet are highly sexualized, and in those cultures I would make every effort to cover my feet. In our culture, it's breasts, so I carefully select my clothing to not expose more than necessary. But, I never nurse with a cover (DS would never tolerate it anyway!). I do choose where to sit sometimes depending on my clothing (like I might try to sit near a wall so I won't show too much stomach if my shirt isn't very long) and I don't like to pull my shirt down -- for me, pulling it up shows less, but I think that depends greatly on body type. Also, if I'm around my DH or all my mommy friends or at a LLL meeting, I just don't care much what is showing. In other situations, I'm a little more discreet. I have nursed in hundreds of places, most of them very public, but I don't think anyone (outside of DH & mom friends) has seen my breast. But if I needed to expose more so DS could nurse properly, then that's fine too. I just wouldn't deliberately show more than what I deemed necessary.
post #29 of 107
When nursing in my bathing suit, I have to pull the top down. Otherwise, I always go shirt up.

I nurse everywhere and I have yet to have anyone say anything to me. Maybe it's the look I have on my face. If you mess with me, you will regret it.

I always feel awkward when I see someone struggling under a Hooter Hider.
post #30 of 107
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoBecGo View Post
nak

that makes me really curious - why the nipple? What about it is offensive?
After all it's the bit that HAS to be out of clothing for nursing to happen. My breasts are a J, bigger than MY head, but i am able to keep most of one tucked in my top when i NIP, the only bit i HAVE to expose to get my DD2 feeding is the nipple.

I wonder if it's because lowcut tops expose everything BUT the nipple, so the nipple becomes beyond the pale?

If you don't want to elaborate then definitely tell me to get lost!
I have no idea what's offensive but I think that's the minimum modesty standard in most parts of the US and Canada and GB, and even in some cases the legal standard. I just think, it's considerate to TRY to cover up when the baby is not latched on. Obviously with a fussy babe that's not always possible, but I'm not talking on-off type stuff. I mean... baby's having a rest, pull your shirt down.

Otherwise it gives NIPing a bad name, like someone wants to show off their boobs and that's why she does it.

Basically, if it's illegal to show otherwise, then it should be covered when baby is not nursing for some time. That's my opinion. I wouldn't say anything about it.

ETA... saw the New York thing. If you think that would work and there is a need for the nipple to be out when babe is not latched on, go for it. I'm having a hard time seeing the need but then we had easy nursing relationships.

Quote:
I actually really hate seeing men topless, it makes me kind of uncomfortable.
You'd have been incredibly uncomfortable with the ladies and me at the park the other day when one mama gave a big ol' whistle at the topless (and incredibly ripped, I might add) jogger that went by.
post #31 of 107
To me, there's a difference between attending a LLL/NFL/AP function and just about anywhere else. I try to be discreet to some degree just about anywhere else, but at the LLL/NFL/AP function I'm apt to be more "sloppy" and less concerned about being super discreet shall we say. I have been known to flash, but it's not intentional by any means.

ETA: I don't nurse with a cover either.

Liz
post #32 of 107
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post #33 of 107
Quote:
Originally Posted by EdnaMarie View Post
Otherwise it gives NIPing a bad name, like someone wants to show off their boobs and that's why she does it.
I really find this to be a far-reaching assumption, and I think it does more damage to the breastfeeding movement than the woman who flashes some breast when latching a baby on. Why would you assume she's some sort of exhibitionist? Why not just assume she's feeding her baby in a way that works best for her? And if you really can't stand it, just don't look.

Quote:
Basically, if it's illegal to show otherwise, then it should be covered when baby is not nursing for some time. That's my opinion. I wouldn't say anything about it.
I think it's worth adding that the laws in many states make it clear that even if a full breast is showing, when it's in the service of feeding a baby, it is NOT the same as lewd/indecent exposure. I think these assumptions that breastfeeding is somehow sexual show how far we have yet to go.


Quote:
You'd have been incredibly uncomfortable with the ladies and me at the park the other day when one mama gave a big ol' whistle at the topless (and incredibly ripped, I might add) jogger that went by.
I don't see what sexist ogling has to do with breastfeeding advocacy.
post #34 of 107
Quote:
Originally Posted by annettemarie View Post
I really find this to be a far-reaching assumption, and I think it does more damage to the breastfeeding movement than the woman who flashes some breast when latching a baby on. Why would you assume she's some sort of exhibitionist? Why not just assume she's feeding her baby in a way that works best for her? And if you really can't stand it, just don't look.
*I* wouldn't assume it. I cover the nipple when baby is not latched on (note: NOT when baby is latching, but not just leaving it out there when baby's twiddling it... I am from the West Coast, I've seen that going on, and it did make people uncomfortable). I don't mind the nipple.

I'm thinking... sitting on a bench outside Target on a sunny day, six month old is on the boob, pops off, mom doesn't pull her shirt down, keeps talking, asks baby, "Want more? Other side?"

Now, if this were the top of her breast or her back or whatever, I don't think most people would be uncomfortable. The nipple would be surprising to some.

Quote:
I think it's worth adding that the laws in many states make it clear that even if a full breast is showing, when it's in the service of feeding a baby, it is NOT the same as lewd/indecent exposure. I think these assumptions that breastfeeding is somehow sexual show how far we have yet to go.
But how can the nipple be showing when she's breastfeeding?

Perhaps my answer is totally irrelevant. I think people should cover at least the nipple after baby's latched off for some time. Not during breastfeeding... but that's not even possible because most of the time, the aureola (why is that spell checked?) is covered when baby is nursing.

Perhaps this comes from my personal experience with a playful nurser that expects to be able to take a break of a minute then go straight back to the boob. I put my shirt down and she has to lift it back up.

It's not a sexual thing. It's a personal space/comfort level thing for others.
post #35 of 107
I am all for nursing in public and will give a smile to nursing mothers I see as if to say "good for you" but I have seen what I deemed more than I think is needed. I don't and would never say anything of course. I expect it when someone is getting the hang of nursing a newborn or a toddler/older babe who loves to yank the whole shirt up while nursing (I have had one of those and you have to act fast!) I don't cover up except when at the pool (I have a gauzey scarf so my lo doesn't get hot) because I pull the breast out the top of my suit. Doing that with out covering up makes ME uncomfortable. I don't mind my children seeing others breasts as they know what they are for but it makes ME uncomfortable to nurse while what I think is too much exposed around tween boys. Not sure why but to each there own.
post #36 of 107
Quote:
Originally Posted by EdnaMarie View Post

Perhaps my answer is totally irrelevant. I think people should cover at least the nipple after baby's latched off for some time. Not during breastfeeding... but that's not even possible because most of the time, the aureola (why is that spell checked?) is covered when baby is nursing.
That depends on the size of the areola - i can remember reading the baby should have breast to at least the margins of the areola in the mouth for a good latch and laughing - mine are in proportion to the rest of the (j-cup breast) - WAY too big for a baby to fit in their mouth. After 6 months? sure. at birth? no WAY!

Quote:
It's not a sexual thing. It's a personal space/comfort level thing for others.
But personal space cant be visually breached - is the theoretical NIPer leaning her bare breast into others faces? And if it's comfort level then WHY is there discomfort? People do not freak at an exposed elbow. The discomfort is BECAUSE of the sexual connotation, no?
post #37 of 107
My opinion is if you don't like it, don't look. I refuse to wear a nursing cover and if it makes someone uncomfortable to see a baby nursing on a breast the way nature intended then it's their issues, not mine.

I am an unapologetic nurser.
post #38 of 107
I personally try to cover up. That doens't mean I always use a blanket, but if I've pulled my shirt up to nurse, I bring it back down to touch his face. If I've pulled my strap down it's harder to cover up. But I definately wouldn't NOT nurse because of it.

Some babies don't like to be covered up. Who knows. Ds even moves my shirt away sometimes when it touches his cheek. People don't have to look, so, I say do what you have to.
post #39 of 107
Quote:
Originally Posted by annettemarie View Post
And if you really can't stand it, just don't look.
That.
post #40 of 107
Where I live it's pretty common to see moms pull the breast out top of low cut shirts. My shirts mostly have higher necklines than that so I like nursing openings. (I get cold or sunburned when I wear v-neck shirts). I nursed my 3 year old in a swim changing room today and even though I had been comfortable taking the wet swim shirt off and setting it down before grabbing a towel, I felt I needed to keep the other breast under the towel while she nursed. So I guess that's my standard: the breast not in use is covered up. (Or when I was nursing 2 I wanted my belly in between covered so I didn't feel/look like I was topless.)

When your baby is nursing in a sling, you may not notice she's done at first, but you will get better customer service after you cover up. The poor man at the hardware store was trying to not look at me and was very distracted.
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