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Is there such a thing as too much exposure when it comes to NIP? - Page 5

post #81 of 107
Quote:
Originally Posted by PatioGardener View Post

Short answer?

No.

She's feeding her child!

If she needs to uncover her breast to feed her child then so be it.


yeahthat.gif

 

post #82 of 107

I always try to be mindful of other's comfort levels, so when I got out for an extended period of time I wear something I can nurse fairly discreetly in. I don't use a cover because LO won't stand it anymore. Most of the moms I know are a lot the same way, or try to continue using a cover and they sit there wrestling with the baby about it... lol :) I think she had a right to do it how she wanted but as for myself, I try to strike a balance..

post #83 of 107

I was thinking about this thread today b/c it is hot out. I am just wearing a nursing tank and I can't wear the "full sling" kind that have fabric on the top b/c my breasts are large and I get bra thong and look like a weirdo all day lol So I have to use the side sling ones. When I un-clip it to nurse DD my entire breast is exposed just like if I took my whole breast out. So clearly some people have an issue with that even here. I never thought anything about it b/c I am wearing a nursing tank top...that's what it is made for. Sure I could wear layers...but it's 85 degrees! I don't really see that as me being unreasonable and exposing myself or anything.

post #84 of 107

And this right here is why I'm coming to Glasgow to meet you.  You are so very awesome.
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by GoBecGo View Post



 I frequently wear the "i dare you" expression too, because i'm not open to being messed with.  Our society doesn't like "aggressive" women, we must put on a pretty dress and shut up if we want to be judged feminine and attractive.  Yeah, no thanks.  I absolutely have an agenda and make a point about it when i choose to nurse in public.  The agenda is "i am nursing my baby" and the point is "i am not open to discussing your opinion of this!".  All those who object to seeing and want to say something also have an agenda and a point, i don't see why they are entitled but i am not.  I am coming down on the side of rational behaviour - feeding my human child human milk from the source.  They want me to hide this, or not do it, which is irrational since it potentially threatens the health of the child and therefore species.  I do not impinge on their right to look away/move, so they may not impinge on my right to feed my young.

 

But our society hates women.  It's very difficult not to judge and be catty.  And since one of the things society encourages in girls is fitting in and behaving culturally appropriately of course it's the women who bitch and complain and judge most.  They are all following the rules of how to be a good girl - make sure all the other girls are behaving as they should!  Look at the rubbish which gets into the news and newspapers about female celebrities - attacking the character of women based on their willingness or unwillingness to jump through ridiculous culturally imposed hoops is the national pastime!

 



 

post #85 of 107

I still don't understand how people have no issue with males running around topless but are offended by breastfeeding. and I have smallish breasts but huge areolas (sp?) so they normally show . my dh had a problem about it in the beginning but got over it

-nak

post #86 of 107

I guess I'm still in the minority on this one.  I don't want other men seeing my breasts.  That doesn't make them pigs.  Why do some girls wear short shorts?  Because it gets them attention.  Many men look.  I don't believe they are all pigs. 

 

I have never been asked to stop nursing or move somewhere else in the 10 years I've been breast-feeding.  I know this has happened to other people.  Was it ever because you had your breast "out" or because whoever was uncomfortable with you breastfeeding period?  I have only seen breasts of someone nursing while at a LLL meeting or in someone's home. 

 

I guess I'm just trying to express that I feel there should be a compromise between "Oh no!  No one should ever see even a speck of flesh!" and letting it all hang out.

 

While I believe in a baby's right to eat first, I don't think that the thinking and courtesy should stop there.

 

Let the tomatoes fly. tomato.gif

 

 

post #87 of 107
Quote:
Originally Posted by Youngfrankenstein View Post

I guess I'm still in the minority on this one.  I don't want other men seeing my breasts.


Well, that's great for you that you don't want people to see your breasts. You absolutely have the right to breastfeed in a way that makes you feel comfortable. Some of us don't care if people (male or female) see our breasts. I don't think those of us who don't think it's a big deal for other people to see our breasts should be expected to breastfeed using the same standards you do, or meeting the standards of random people who we happen to be near when we're out and about. It's not that I don't believe in "common courtesy" so much as I don't think common courtesy applies when it has anything to do with the exposure (or lack thereof) of my body. As in, the body that belongs to me, and no one else - I should be able to do with it as I please and not be held to different standards than other people simply because I have a vagina and not a penis.
post #88 of 107
Oh, and some women wear short shorts because they like wearing short shorts. Why is it the automatic assumption that they're doing it to get a certain type of attention?
post #89 of 107
Quote:
Originally Posted by Youngfrankenstein View Post

I guess I'm still in the minority on this one.  I don't want other men seeing my breasts.  That doesn't make them pigs.  Why do some girls wear short shorts?  Because it gets them attention.  Many men look.  I don't believe they are all pigs. 

 

I have never been asked to stop nursing or move somewhere else in the 10 years I've been breast-feeding.  I know this has happened to other people.  Was it ever because you had your breast "out" or because whoever was uncomfortable with you breastfeeding period?  I have only seen breasts of someone nursing while at a LLL meeting or in someone's home. 

 

I guess I'm just trying to express that I feel there should be a compromise between "Oh no!  No one should ever see even a speck of flesh!" and letting it all hang out.

 

While I believe in a baby's right to eat first, I don't think that the thinking and courtesy should stop there.

 

Let the tomatoes fly. tomato.gif

 

 


I wear short shorts because they're cooler and because they're more comfortable. Go figure. 

 

post #90 of 107
Honestly, I'm not even sure what women wearing short shorts/desiring sexual attention in certain situations has to do with this discussion. a bit of a red herring, if you ask me, unless the suggestion is that women who "brazenly" breastfeed are looking for sexual attention? Because that idea is the sort of nonsense that makes breastfeeding difficult for many women.
post #91 of 107

Exactly! There is NOT ONE sexual thing about BFing or my breast while BFing (IMHO I don't even think breasts are sexual period). So me nursing in a nursing top that is a slide sling is me trying to get sexual attention? Absolutely not. First and foremost I am married and would never seek any attention other than my husbands and secondly I am a Christian. I try to be modest but what am I suppose to do sweat to death trying to cover up something I am made to do? Why is it my responsibility if a man looks at me when I am just trying to nurse my child? It's not like I have both breasts hanging out and I'm saying hey look at me! I am not flamboyant about it I just do it.

post #92 of 107

I think she just meant skin exposure being for the sake of drawing attention. She likened exposing the nursing breast to draw the attention of others to short shorts drawing the attention of others. My point being, I did neither for the sake of attention, but for function. 

post #93 of 107
Quote:
Originally Posted by SubliminalDarkness View Post

I think she just meant skin exposure being for the sake of drawing attention. She likened exposing the nursing breast to draw the attention of others to short shorts drawing the attention of others. My point being, I did neither for the sake of attention, but for function. 


Well, that's my point too. But drawing a parallel between wanting sexual attention and wanting. . .uh, whatever kind of attention a breastfeeding mother might be seeking (and I'm still not clear on what that attention might be - kudos for breastfeeding?) equates the two in a way that I think is problematic. It reminds me of the whole "urinating is natural too, but I still don't want to see it" argument. People aren't saying breastfeeding is the same as urinating, exactly, but by drawing that parallel they are certainly making a negative association. I think talking about women wanting sexual attention in the same breath as talking about women not covering up while breastfeeding distracts from the point of the conversation. They aren't analogous in any meaningful way. (and I totally get your point, ftr. I'm not arguing, just clarifying my objection to the poster I was responding to bringing women wanting sexual attention into the discussion)
post #94 of 107

I said none of those things like that.  I said some women wear short shorts for attention.  I did not say all.  I never said breastfeeding was sexual either.  Sosurreal, your last line says it all.  Why are you not being attacked for saying it?  People are saying if they want to act that way, then can.  I am saying that I don't want that for myself.

 

I wish we could have adult discussions and read twice and post once.  I don't like having mud slung at me for expressing a different point of view. 

post #95 of 107
Quote:
Originally Posted by Youngfrankenstein View Post

I said none of those things like that.  I said some women wear short shorts for attention.  I did not say all.  I never said breastfeeding was sexual either.  Sosurreal, your last line says it all.  Why are you not being attacked for saying it?  People are saying if they want to act that way, then can.  I am saying that I don't want that for myself.

 

I wish we could have adult discussions and read twice and post once.  I don't like having mud slung at me for expressing a different point of view. 


I'm not slinging mud. (But you did ask for flying tomatoes wink1.gif ) I'm just not sure what your point is about women wearing short shorts and what it has to do with breastfeeding. What does a woman wanting attention (for anything) have to do with breastfeeding? Maybe you can clarify that?

I also made it clear in my post that you choosing to keep somewhat covered is cool with me (not that my opinion on how you breastfeed really matters that much, or should matter that much to you). But when you said that you think there should be a compromise, it didn't sound like you were talking only about how you choose to breastfeed, but passing judgment on those who don't feel that any compromise is necessary or desirable.
post #96 of 107
Quote:
Originally Posted by eclipse View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by Youngfrankenstein View Post

I said none of those things like that.  I said some women wear short shorts for attention.  I did not say all.  I never said breastfeeding was sexual either.  Sosurreal, your last line says it all.  Why are you not being attacked for saying it?  People are saying if they want to act that way, then can.  I am saying that I don't want that for myself.

 

I wish we could have adult discussions and read twice and post once.  I don't like having mud slung at me for expressing a different point of view. 




I'm not slinging mud. (But you did ask for flying tomatoes wink1.gif ) I'm just not sure what your point is about women wearing short shorts and what it has to do with breastfeeding. What does a woman wanting attention (for anything) have to do with breastfeeding? Maybe you can clarify that?

I also made it clear in my post that you choosing to keep somewhat covered is cool with me (not that my opinion on how you breastfeed really matters that much, or should matter that much to you). But when you said that you think there should be a compromise, it didn't sound like you were talking only about how you choose to breastfeed, but passing judgment on those who don't feel that any compromise is necessary or desirable.


I realize my earlier post may have sounded confusing.  I understand that there should be compromise.  And I did ask for tomatoes!  At least I was prepared for them.  Maybe I always feel "attacked" for wanting to be covered.  I'm also not the person who's going to be topless on a beach.  That's just me.  I don't think mom's should have to think about this stuff at all.  It should just be. I know that many, many times it's other women who get upset by NIP and that is shameful.  I don't want to further divide the lactivist community.  I guess sometimes I feel the need to show that lactivists come in many "shapes and sizes" and that a woman shouldn't feel ashamed if she doesn't want to show the skin.

 

post #97 of 107
Well, on that we agree. I'm all about bodily sovereignty smile.gif
post #98 of 107
View Post



Well, that's great for you that you don't want people to see your breasts. You absolutely have the right to breastfeed in a way that makes you feel comfortable. Some of us don't care if people (male or female) see our breasts. I don't think those of us who don't think it's a big deal for other people to see our breasts should be expected to breastfeed using the same standards you do, or meeting the standards of random people who we happen to be near when we're out and about. It's not that I don't believe in "common courtesy" so much as I don't think common courtesy applies when it has anything to do with the exposure (or lack thereof) of my body. As in, the body that belongs to me, and no one else - I should be able to do with it as I please and not be held to different standards than other people simply because I have a vagina and not a penis.

I love how you worded the bit about common courtesy. I have been looking for those words every time I've heard someone make that argument against NIP.

 

 

post #99 of 107
Quote:
Originally Posted by Youngfrankenstein View Post

I said none of those things like that.  I said some women wear short shorts for attention.  I did not say all.  I never said breastfeeding was sexual either.  Sosurreal, your last line says it all.  Why are you not being attacked for saying it?  People are saying if they want to act that way, then can.  I am saying that I don't want that for myself.

 

I wish we could have adult discussions and read twice and post once.  I don't like having mud slung at me for expressing a different point of view. 


I am certainly not trying to attack you! I am just trying to understand I guess. I feel judged. I am all for modesty but it is hard with large breasts and I hate that people equate my "skin showing" with me trying to show skin KWIM? I am just wearing a regular nursing top and nursing my toddler in it. I feel judged a lot. I feel vulnerable while doing it, but I can't cover DD and I feel it sends the wrong message. I could sweat my bum off and wear layers, but why should I have to when woman walk around in bras practically, and men walk around topless? Why is it so threatening to see a few inches of my skin (if I'm not in layers) when we see feet of other people's skin? I think it is more about the act of BFing than it is about any skin showing. People are threatened by it. Don't forget not very long ago woman were seen as poor or dirty for BFing b/c they couldn't afford formula and of course that was far superior. Woman were given meds right after birth so that their milk wouldn't even come in! We still have formula companies pushing and pushing there product and it does effect how people think of BFing to this day. The severe negativity of it was passed down from mother to child and even though it made a comeback in the 70's the negativity still stuck for many people and even now it still lingers. Most people FF in the US so of course BFing is not widely accepted....

 

As for the whole urinating argument...Yes urinating is natural but it is illegal to urinate any and everywhere. It's not so much a BFing is natural argument but more a BFing is the NORMAL way to feed a baby. If I am BFing my child and there is a woman next to me bottle feeding I certainly don't attack her for making the less than ideal (b/c that is what it is, biologically) decision to bottle feed, so why should I be attacked for nursing my baby however I choose to do so?

 

I feel like there are a lot less (probably less than 1%) of woman want to "flaunt" the fact they are nursing (while in the act at least) in public surrounded by strangers. If you think of it in an animalistic sense that would probably go against our instincts b/c we want to protect our young and proudly exposing a nursling would endanger it in the wild. On top of that all the criticism and negativity about BFing in some countries makes you feel really uncomfortable and that's why woman have adapted the "I dare you to say something" look. It is out of necessity not pride.

 

post #100 of 107

Also I fully support any mom who wants to cover, whatever you feel comfortable doing in order to nurse your child everyone should support.

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