For those of you NOT comfortable NIP...

[mrs.t]

I have nothing against what anyone does, but I feel like it's all about your personal comfort level when deciding whether to NIP or not. Personally, I'm just not comfortable with it. That being said, I'm starting to feel like a slave to nursing. I always make sure I will be close to home so I can nurse DS in my house, or if I am at a family member's or friend's house I will just go in another room. But how do I deal with those times where I just can't get to a private place? I know I should probably just suck it up but I'm truly uncomfortable. I have a nursing cover but it's so hot lately I can't imagine using it. The thing that makes me uncomfortable is NOT anything related to my own body, nursing, etc., but the reactions of other people, and I mean the more disturbing reactions, like some leering gross staring person. I just feel very vulnerable while nursing. So when DS is due for a feed and we're in a place like IKEA, what am I supposed to do? I really, really don't want to nurse in the bathroom.

[GoBecGo]

Does your IKEA not have a nursing corner? Ours does - a private space in a corner of the restaurant where you can nurse in peace. If yours doesn't i would write or email and ask them to create one, it's the norm in European IKEA's.

Can you nurse in a sling or wrap? I am very comfortable nursing in public, but i am not always, with an active 4yo, able to SIT for a few minutes to nurse, so i've just mastered feeding DD2 in the wrap. I sort of slide her lower then put my opposite hand into the wrap to lift and hold the breast for her and keep the tissue off her face so she doesn't smother (J-cup!). I have been able to do it on the left for a while, but today mastered feeding from the right that way too. No-one can see a thing, i don't have to stop walking or sit down, and my friend said today anyone looking at me would assume i was holding a pacifier in or something.

Or perhaps you could practice making baby steps to feeling ok about NIP? Nurse in a cafe owned by a friend perhaps? Or in a familiar cafe with a big crowd of other supportive women? Or go to a BFing support group and then meet up with those mama's out of the house and NIP together?

FWIW i am VERY bold about NIP but even i feel vulnerable in the act sometimes. I have only once, in 7months of NIP with DD1 and 2-months-and-counting with DD2, had anything LIKE a "confrontation" about BFing. I was in a BF-friendly cafe, an old man stared at me with a disgusted look on his face, complained loudly that i was putting him off his coffee to a waiter. Waiter fetched a paper cup, poured his coffee into it and told him he needed to get out immediately. Waiter then brought me an iced water and made sure i was ok, and i told him "he's lucky he left before i got my bra fastened up again, i might have done a murder!" It's HARD to feel bold when you're feeding, however bold you feel ABOUT feeding.

[Mama Lo]

I just wanted to say that like you, I was uncomfortable nursing in public. Thankfully my dd was born in Sept, so it cooled off and I was comfortable using a cover. I will say though that as my dd grew bigger I became more comfortable nip, because she offered me some coverage. I was still very careful, as I didn't want to flash my nipple to anyone, but it became easier and less stressful the older that she got. She is 22 mo old now and just weaned. Now I have no apprehensions about nip, although I am still very discreet and keep as much of myself covered as I can for my own comfort level.

[Annie Mac]

Originally Posted by mrs.t

I. The thing that makes me uncomfortable is NOT anything related to my own body, nursing, etc., but the reactions of other people, and I mean the more disturbing reactions, like some leering gross staring person.

I will NIP, and until recently I almost always did so modestly, ie with a light blanket draped over me. Lately I've become more bold (mostly because it's hot out) and have figured that if I position the baby *just so* she can nurse and be my cover at the same time. As for the reactions from others? Nothing. Not a glance. I sometimes think that the stories women tell about NIP are the war stories. I suspect that for every one bad experience, there are a thousand positive ones. However, those war stories can set up expectations and fear in us. I would suggest simply trying it. It might not be as bad you expect. And if it is, you can post your own war story

[VillageMom6]

Originally Posted by GoBecGo

Waiter fetched a paper cup, poured his coffee into it and told him he needed to get out immediately. Waiter then brought me an iced water and made sure i was ok...

Oh my word, may God bless that waiter!!

I've never been comfortable NIP. I've done it but I'm not comfortable about it.

I always felt some philosophical obligation to do it, though. You know, the whole "I need set a good example towards normalizing breastfeeding" thing.

This time I'm saying, "Forget it!". My breastfeeding is not about educating the public or trying not to offend the hyper-prudes. It's about me and my baby and what works best for us.

So I bought one of those capes with an open neck-line. I'm going to NIP but be covered up and if anyone has an issue, too bad/so sad.

[LadyCatherine185]

I wasn't necessarily uncomfortable with my DS, but by the time he was 6 weeks old he had developed silent reflux (which took us a couple months to figure out..) and he would scream at the breast and needed a lot of rocking to calm down enough to nurse.. meanwhile I'm squirting milk everywhere.. yeah, not exactly something I wanted to do in public! Then once we got the reflux figured out, and had him on Prevacid, he was too distracted to nurse in public/around people or stimulation of any kind. Even at home, he had to be in our dark quiet bedroom. For the first 6 months or so, I was definitely a "slave" to his nursing schedule.. He also nursed every 1-2 hours around the clock. It was tough. But once he got a little older, he would go longer without nursing and would be happy as could be out in public. I would bring snacks and a sippy cup with us if we were out. He would easily go 3-4 hours between nursing if we were out somewhere.

This time around, for one I am hoping and praying to have a baby that will nurse anytime/anywhere. But to make it easier on myself I am going to get the propper attire (nursing tanks/bras, easy to nurse in clothing), and I have gotten a nursing cover as well that you put around your neck so you don't have to worry about a blanket slipping off your shoulder, etc. Also, if we deal with the reflux/etc again, at least I will know what I'm looking for this time and I can get him treatment sooner. And if he is the distractable type, I have the nursing cover so even if he pops on and off 100 times, I will have the cover over him and no one will see my nipple.

[GoBecGo]

Originally Posted by VillageMom6

Oh my word, may God bless that waiter!!

In the UK cafe's and other workplaces etc. can get a "breastfeeding friendly" certification. This place has one. It just means all the staff are au fait with what a nursing mama might need and they are aggressively supportive. They will offer you a private space if you want one, a glass of water, and protect you if necessary from negative comments. I recommend all my new-nursing-mama friends go to a place like that when they first attempt NIP because it can make such a huge difference knowing the staff are going to be on your side. I think we are at the stage in Scotland where many people still don't breastfeed, and probably some really disapprove of NIP, but mostly they are now too scared to say so!

[buckeyedoc]

I was never totally comfortable wandering and breastfeeding, so I would find a bench or comfortable corner where I could hang out for a while. On rare occasions, I breastfed in the car before going in somewhere or outside of the store or restaurant if there was a more private set-up there.

[stephienoodle]

If you have a time that you anticipate needing to nurse in public, can you take another nursing mom friend with you? I recently did this with a friend. She's having a hard time nursing (mostly pumping, using a nipple shield with difficulty) and we were hanging out at the mall play area because she wanted to get out of the house. Her son got hungry and she didn't have a bottle of expressed milk. To detract attention from her, I started nursing my toddler and another friend did the same. We were able to help block the view of others as she felt most exposed while getting the nipple shield on and her little guy latched. It made her feel less alone and less like she was being gawked at. It also made it less likely that somebody would do or say something negative... a safety in numbers kind of thing.

Obviously this only will help if there's a situation you can plan for... but it might help. Sometimes getting NIP the first time over and done with is enough to help you do it again if you need to (even if you still aren't completely comfortable with it).

[SubliminalDarkness]

Originally Posted by stephienoodle

If you have a time that you anticipate needing to nurse in public, can you take another nursing mom friend with you? I recently did this with a friend. She's having a hard time nursing (mostly pumping, using a nipple shield with difficulty) and we were hanging out at the mall play area because she wanted to get out of the house. Her son got hungry and she didn't have a bottle of expressed milk. To detract attention from her, I started nursing my toddler and another friend did the same. We were able to help block the view of others as she felt most exposed while getting the nipple shield on and her little guy latched. It made her feel less alone and less like she was being gawked at. It also made it less likely that somebody would do or say something negative... a safety in numbers kind of thing.

Obviously this only will help if there's a situation you can plan for... but it might help. Sometimes getting NIP the first time over and done with is enough to help you do it again if you need to (even if you still aren't completely comfortable with it).

This is a good idea. I was going to suggest something similar. I've been "used" a few times to help moms NIP. Basically, we just meet up for coffee or something, and if I needed to nurse, I would. And usually seeing me do it made them more comfortable to do it. Not to mention, it was a given that I would have said something to anyone who dared to be rude.

[mrs.t]

Thanks for all the suggestions! I guess I just have to sort of plan to NIP someplace where I feel comfortable. It's mostly those times when DS is freaking out and I'm already attracting attention because I'm the screaming baby's mom, so whipping out my boob at that point doesn't really appeal to me!

[texmati]

Originally Posted by mrs.t

I have nothing against what anyone does, but I feel like it's all about your personal comfort level when deciding whether to NIP or not. Personally, I'm just not comfortable with it. That being said, I'm starting to feel like a slave to nursing. I always make sure I will be close to home so I can nurse DS in my house, or if I am at a family member's or friend's house I will just go in another room. But how do I deal with those times where I just can't get to a private place? I know I should probably just suck it up but I'm truly uncomfortable. I have a nursing cover but it's so hot lately I can't imagine using it. The thing that makes me uncomfortable is NOT anything related to my own body, nursing, etc., but the reactions of other people, and I mean the more disturbing reactions, like some leering gross staring person. I just feel very vulnerable while nursing. So when DS is due for a feed and we're in a place like IKEA, what am I supposed to do? I really, really don't want to nurse in the bathroom.

I feel you, I really don't like NIP-ing. I usually go in the car, but it's just too hot now. But I also don't want o be stuck at home all the time. I normally try to get my dh to stand or sit in such a way that I feel comfortable. Also, it's really reassuring to have somone check me out and tell me that they can't see anything. (which most of the time they can't.) I also learned a few handy tricks that have kept me from nursing in a bathroom.

-If I'm at the mall, target, ect, I can nurse in a fitting room.
- I can nurse in a booth at nearly any restaurant "under the table".
- at smaller store, I've asked to use the employee lounge.
- DS is old enough that we can do quick nursies-- nurse for only one let down on each side, and then pack up and go. I've also started saying, "get back to business", if DS want's to look around while nursing in public.
-I sometimes pump and take a bottle, if I really don't want to stop to nurse. I save this for when we go out for tex-mex.

[AislinCarys]

I found in the first 18 months that people usually thought she was asleep when she was feeding (yep, I've had friends stick their faces close to hers, just to jump back in surprise when they realize she's latched on! ). It wasn't a biggie for me. Covering my tummy was, so I wear a camisole under my top. And, really, nothing shows.

With IKEA, ask them for a place to nurse, if they don't have one, I'm certain they'll create one! In the new IKEA in my home city in Sweden, they have a flash Breastfeeding room, with a lovely Family Bathroom right next to it (with a little kids toilet, and a potty that fits tiny bottoms! ), just by the restaurant.

[Crazybean]

I'm not comfortable with it either but this is my first baby I am able to exclusively breastfeed. That being said, I either stay close to home or I have a "plan" if I'm out and about. I know my nearby Babies R Us has a mothers room. I also know of a few department stores in the mall that has a space for moms but is on the other side of town. If I see DS is starting to wake, I get in my car and drive to the nearest "mother's area" I know. I know this may be horrible to some but I'm always at the mall... or I'm always near the plaza with the BRU so it really isn't out of the way. The only one I haven't figured out is the grocery store. I only go there when DS is freshly fed and I know he will be out for at least an hour or so...

[goldfinches]

I wasn't comfortable with it with my first baby. I mostly planned to be at home to feed her or at a relative's where I could go into a bedroom with a locked door. Or, I would use my car, or a bathroom stall.

It got easier with my second - way easier. I don't nurse uncovered - that's my personal preference. I use a nursing shirt and a wrap, a Maya actually. I can put the baby into it, hold him/her in a cradle hold, cover the exposed part of me with the tail of the wrap and feed happily. No one I pass even knows what we're doing, they think the baby's sleeping. I can hold baby with one arm and shop or whatever with the other.

(But, I still prefer sitting in my own home to nurse...)

I noticed you wait until your son is upset to feed him. Soon, you will be able to guess when he'll be hungry while you're out. Just watch for his cues, be prepared, and get him eating before he gets so upset that will make things much easier on both of you guys.

[KristyDi]

Originally Posted by stephienoodle

If you have a time that you anticipate needing to nurse in public, can you take another nursing mom friend with you? I recently did this with a friend. She's having a hard time nursing (mostly pumping, using a nipple shield with difficulty) and we were hanging out at the mall play area because she wanted to get out of the house. Her son got hungry and she didn't have a bottle of expressed milk. To detract attention from her, I started nursing my toddler and another friend did the same. We were able to help block the view of others as she felt most exposed while getting the nipple shield on and her little guy latched. It made her feel less alone and less like she was being gawked at. It also made it less likely that somebody would do or say something negative... a safety in numbers kind of thing.

Obviously this only will help if there's a situation you can plan for... but it might help. Sometimes getting NIP the first time over and done with is enough to help you do it again if you need to (even if you still aren't completely comfortable with it).

And it dosen't even have to be a nursing mom, It could be anyone you know would support you. I wasn't at all comfortable NIP at first. One of the very first times my dad was with me. He sat next to me giving the stink eye to anyone who might possibly have been thinking about giving me a problem. He may have over done it a bit, but it made me feel safe.

[Quinalla]

I would try baby steps, try NIP somewhere that isn't as intimidating. The pedictrican/OB/midwife/etc. office is a good place, other folks waiting around are generally moms/dads and are generally very accepting. Or if that is still too public to try at first, maybe your car? Maybe in a nursing room somewhere, a lot of nicer malls have them. I wasn't so sure about it myself at first as I don't mind at all for my own sake, but I don't like to make others uncomfortable. Do you have a good friend who you are comfortable nursing around that could be with you when you NIP? Someone to run interference for you if anyone does give you a dirty look or something?

[ebbb]

Originally Posted by goldfinches

I use a nursing shirt and a wrap, a Maya actually. I can put the baby into it, hold him/her in a cradle hold, cover the exposed part of me with the tail of the wrap and feed happily. No one I pass even knows what we're doing, they think the baby's sleeping. I can hold baby with one arm and shop or whatever with the other.

(But, I still prefer sitting in my own home to nurse...)

This is exactly what I do too- and no one yet has even noticed a difference. I was uneasy about nursing in public too at first (I'm a first time mom so everything about my baby tends to make me nervous at first). I would definitely suggest getting some nursing shirts, there are some pretty nice ones out there now a days. I love using the Maya wrap to nurse with when I'm out and about, because it allows me to have one hand free and since I have one with an extra long tail, when I drape it over, I don't have to worry about it slipping. And it is all one thing, so I have less to bring with me when I'm out and it makes it less of a production when I am getting ready to nurse.

I found personally that using a nursing cape or blanket made it more obvious that I was nursing and brought more attention and looks than just nursing DD in the wrap

My aunt and I were talking about this very thing yesterday and she was telling me how at first she would never nurse my cousin in public until one day at the mall, she saw someone breastfeeding her baby in the food court and she realized that if she weren't a nursing mom herself, she wouldn't have even been able to tell that that was what the woman was doing. After that, she was comfortable nursing her babies in public because really, if you do it a certain way, no one will know the difference.

Take baby steps and once you get comfortable enough to do it, I'm sure you will enjoy the freedom it gives you and your baby to just go and do whatever you want!

[boobs4milk]

nurse in front of a mirror. i wear a tank top under my regular shirt so NOTHING shows, and i don't cover. if people stare, it's because they have an issue with THINKING too much. i constantly have people walk up to me to oggle the sleeping babe and then get whammo'ed by the fact that i'm nursing. good luck!

[MacKinnon]

I typically nursed in the sling with a tank top under my shirt, so the top shirt went up and the tank top went down a little, and baby was in the sling. Very few people ever knew we were nursing, like several other posters have said, people would be shocked when they would come to peek in! They only comments I've gotten have been positive. In fact, the very first time I nursed DD in public, she was a teeny babe and I was a new mom and very nervous about nursing in this bustling cafe. I had a middle table with no arms, it wasn't easy to hide. I just had DD settled in, and this little old lady was staring at me. I though, oh boy, here we go! But she stood up and walked over and said, "It looks like everyone is getting their lunch! Good for you for doing what's best for your baby and not being afraid to nurse her when she's hungry! Keep up the good work!" It was a wonderful first NIP experience and really helped me be OK with it. Especially with more kids, it's impossible to stay close to somewhere "safe" all the time. Best of luck Mama!