Work at Home Parents... How do you keep them busy?

[Olives]

I am starting to lose my mind. My 12 month old daughter will not under any situation play by herself while I work. I've set up my work station in her play space so I'm right here. I spend lots of one on one time with her playing and being with her without distraction and yet the moment I try to get work done she is whining and crying and will not stop until I stop what I'm doing and play with her.

I'm a wedding photographer and this is my busiest time of year, I need to get some time logged at my computer. Any suggestions on how I can encourage her to entertain herself for 30 min stints would be very helpful!

[lolar2]

All the WAHMs I know personally give music lessons, and they all use babysitters for children who are under age 4 or so. I'm sure some exist who don't, but those are all the ones I know. My piano teacher used to send her daughter (age 4 when I started) into a separate room to watch TV and have a snack during my lessons when I was a kid.

[akind1]

DS is getting to that age where he doesn't like playing by himself anymore, or else wants to play under my desk where all the cords are. I get most of my work done when he naps.

and he is just 8 1/2 months old.

[laurabfig]

Right around a year old was when my dh and I HAD to get childcare for our daughter so he could get some work done. I was working 20 hours per week (outside the home) and he was watching her while I worked and trying to study for his ordination exams, which required a LOT of studying and quiet time to focus. We found it really hard to get anything done while she was around and needing attention.

Can you work mostly at night after she is sleeping, or does it have to be during the day? Or maybe you could find an inexpensive high school or college student to just be present in the house with your daughter so you could log some computer hours without interruption?

[texmati]

my DH wahd's. We have a sitter. It's impossible for him to meet DS needs *and* do what he needs to at work.

[GuildJenn]

I was working from home at that age and at 15 months I posted an ad for a nanny - I could only work nights and weekends and our life was becoming a game of 'pass the baby off' and I was exhausted and stressed out and I felt it was impacting on my relationship with my child.

So my recommendation is - a mother's helper or a nanny. If you found the right photography student you could perhaps trade an internship/mentoring for some babysitting.

[poppan]

I've never been able to get any work done at home while also taking care of my kids. I just end up doing a half-baked job of both and then I feel like a bad worker as well as a bad mom. I agree that someone else has to be in charge of the childcare during your "working hours" or you can only work when they are napping or in bed for the night.

[Peony]

When I work from home I do not have regular child care but I have several factors as to why I can make it work. My job is very flexible, and quite part time. I can talk and tend to my children because even though I provide phone support, I do it to moms so they understand if I need to call them back. I have been doing this for 6 years now so it is all my younger kids have ever known, they known when I am on the phone they need to be quiet. As for the baby, I can wear him. It is not uncommon for me to be typing standing at the kitchen counter while he is on my back. My oldest can help out when she is around. I also work in very small chunks of time, 30 minutes is almost impossible for my 3y to entertain herself and forgot about my 15m old! I might make one call and then play for 20 minutes, make another call, etc...


When the younger one naps, I cram as much as I can into that time, and I work a lot at night when he is asleep. If my job were more demanding then I would have to hire someone to help.

[jennybear]

I have a 7.5 month old and can only WAH when DH is here or she's sleeping. It's just too hard to do anything more than quickly check email from time to time.

[sewchris2642]

Like others have said, the solution can be summed up in 2 words--other care. I prefer dc to having someone come into my home. IME, kids that age can't understand why mom is there but not available. It does a disservice to the child. When they are around 18 mos, I can work with them in the house but having more than one is preferable than just one. With 2, they follow each other around instead of hang on me. but I still get more done and done safely, if they are in dc. I do dressmaking and there are plugged in machines (sewing machines, sergers, blindhemmer, industrial buttonhole machine), sharp tools (seam rippers, scissors, pins) and hot irons on unstable ironing boards that are not safe for little kids to be around. They were all taught not to touch them but that really only works when I'm not using them. If mom (and now grandma) is playing with them, then it's all right for them to play with them in their minds. My business is half of our income so there is no way that I could only do it during nap time and after bed time. Besides Dylan didn't go to bed until 10 pm as a toddler. And Erica only cat napped during the day. I could wear them on my back for small chunks of time before they wanted down but I reserved that for house hold activities. And clients weren't paying me to watch my kids during fittings and consultations. They pay me for my undivided attention and time.

[provocativa]

I had to wah without help a lot. Get some novel toys, that you only pull out for those times. Look for ones that are age appropriate. I had some that I kept hidden and were only for when my most important client called. It helped me to get some books from the library and make some toys- the one that worked the best was a cardboard poster tube tied on the bannister- the toddlers would throw small balls or whatever down that tube and watch them bounce forever. What works will change as toddler grows. My library had a book called Things to do with Toddlers and Twos which was invaluable.

Other ideas- set up water play, with a basin or tote. When they are a bit older, you can get a gigantic tote and set up messy games for them in there- and reinforce that they can only do the messy play in their giant plastic jail- bean or lentil counting, cutting stuff with scissors, painting with shaving cream, playdough, piles of flour, etc. The best lists I found for this stuff were created by homeschooling moms who were looking for stuff to do with toddlers while instructing older kids. Dark chocolate is good for 8 minutes when they get old enough for that.

[cyclamen]

Originally Posted by provocativa

I had to wah without help a lot. Get some novel toys, that you only pull out for those times. Look for ones that are age appropriate. I had some that I kept hidden and were only for when my most important client called. It helped me to get some books from the library and make some toys- the one that worked the best was a cardboard poster tube tied on the bannister- the toddlers would throw small balls or whatever down that tube and watch them bounce forever. What works will change as toddler grows. My library had a book called Things to do with Toddlers and Twos which was invaluable.

Other ideas- set up water play, with a basin or tote. When they are a bit older, you can get a gigantic tote and set up messy games for them in there- and reinforce that they can only do the messy play in their giant plastic jail- bean or lentil counting, cutting stuff with scissors, painting with shaving cream, playdough, piles of flour, etc. The best lists I found for this stuff were created by homeschooling moms who were looking for stuff to do with toddlers while instructing older kids. Dark chocolate is good for 8 minutes when they get old enough for that.

I just posted a thread asking the same question as the OP. Thank you, this advice will prove invaluable!

[provocativa]

Often, the messier the game the longer you will get to play. Some folks hit a road block, thinking about the mess, but. . . often the mess takes less time to set up and clean up than periodically resetting the kid while you're working. colored shaving cream in the bathtub, mama bring yer laptop. . . .

Also, don't forget parallel play. The op's child is way too young for this, but at different ages and stages it's a godsend. Set them up with an office next to your desk, or whatever. I got much more mileage out of real office supplies than plastic officey toys- the best was an adding machine off craigslist and they loved hitting the numbers and hearing the printer. I used to do floral design at home and they arranged the imperfect ones or we would stop at a cutting garden to get them some. Now I deliver farm to table stuff and they are carrying eggs for me, but unfortunately I now foresee the end of this business and am looking on to the next one.