Help me get my toddler to play with his toys!

[Italiamom]

DS has never liked his toys, or really even played with them. We've tried cycling them, tried only having a few out at a time, tried having them in a few different locations, tired having them strewn about, tried having them put away, tried, tried, tried...

It just seems that DS is ONLY interested in playing with things that aren't for him to play with, or only wants to destroy things and make a mess. He will pull books off the bookshelf so happily. He'll strew folded piles of laundry all over the house (keep in mind he has no interest in the laundry if it's not folded). He loves pulling things out of drawers and cabinets. I have to take our poor old dog outside to give him water, otherwise it's an all ay scene of DS throwing a fit about not being able to play in the dog water dish. DS will play with electronics (like an adapter cable, or an old cell phone) for quite a while, but I know those have got to be so toxic. And he seems to love playing with other kids' toys, but ONLY at their houses.

Essentially, what am I doing wrong? I know kids get into stuff, but he seems totally uninterested in toys in his own house, even if they're new. No, no, he'd much rather play with that envelope or can of WD40...

Any suggestions? I try to offer him a toy to always distract when I take away the remote/cellphone/cord/magazine/sock, and it never works.

[mommariffic]

..my only advice is let him play with "non toys?"

Maybe make a low cabinet that he can have access to with things like measuring cups, wooden spoons, odds and ends that he can't choke on, bowls, and whatever else?

I think a "stuff" basket is good, which I used with DD when she was a young toddler. Once or twice a week I'd switch it up with odds and ends around the house like old wooden spools, a whisk, ribbon, etc.

Sensory type tables are cool! Fill a giant rubbermaid with sand, rice or something and put in cups and funnels. Same with water

[maptome]

In our house, we had to hide everything pretty much. The cat food and water is locked behind baby gates in the kitchen. No books or papers for DD to destroy. Everything she's not supposed to get into is behind lock and key to allow for safe exploration. We keep bathroom doors shut. She's 12 months, and doesn't know how to use doorknobs yet.

DD also really likes to play with whatever I am touching, like folded diapers or the broom.

To get her to play with toys, we play together for about 20 minutes, and then I leave her alone to figure it out for maybe about 5 minutes. Also, it helps if they have a kid just a little bit older to show them out to play with the toys.

[Italiamom]

The stuff basket is a great idea! I let him play with kitchen tools quite frequently, but maybe a basket of them instead of toys would be something he would like.

He does have some "un" toys. Pieces of wooden logs, pine cones, and canning jar lids are all "things" in his toy basket. He just doesn't seem interested in them at all unless he's pulled them out of the (supposedly) child proof drawers in the kitchen It just often seems that he only wants to play with things because he knows I don't want him to. I've given up on taking the electronics away from him as long as he can't choke on them, but I just feel so icky even letting him touch them. They've got to be so toxic

[EdnaMarie]

Mama, I am sorry to say but you may be one of those parents that will have to keep upping the childproofing as he gets more skilled. I'm not sure what electronics he has (a cell phone?) but most can be placed in locked cabinets high out of reach. I have a whole ROOM locked for guests, and that's where our electronics are.

Also, perhaps look into Montessori toys.

I know some parents say they "houseproof their kid" but what they really mean is, "I am blessed with a naturally obedient child that, let's be honest, would probably respond to almost any kind of clear, consistent discipline, and who, although full childhood's natural joy and curiosity, is not the type to dismantle the S belt while I am mowing the lawn."

No, yours will take apart the S belt... double-lock that garage door now if you haven't.

I highly recommend shitmykidsruined.com. It's therapeutic!

[CassnBeth]

As much as I am sure this must be insane to live with, what a cool kid you have! Seriously. Like a tiny engineer in the making. I second the possibility of montessori toys and I know I read somewhere about a mom going to home depot in search of different types of lightweight chains and locks to put together as "puzzles" for her son. There might be an old thread on askmoxie....ha! here it is! http://www.askmoxie.org/2007/09/qa-toys-for-a-2.html where someone asks about toys for a two year old "deconstructionist" and there were lots of cool ideas in the comments.

[babybirkel]

this is my son (18 months) exactly. all day it is a constant redirect away from destroying the entire house. and, he can defeat the baby gate, so we basically can't "contain" him at all. he wants everything he can't have...the laptop, the cell phone, the remote to the TV, the buttons on the TV, etc..

i am thrilled that he is so inquisitive and smart, but...seriously. so exhausting. i feel you.

today i turned around to find him standing on the kitchen table. he was just by it and when i turned around he was standing in the middle of the kitchen table, looking quite pleased with himself.

i'm taking notes. i love the ask moxie post. and that shitmykidsruined blog is hilarious.

[Italiamom]

Originally Posted by CassnBeth

As much as I am sure this must be insane to live with, what a cool kid you have! Seriously. Like a tiny engineer in the making.

DH is a mechanical engineer. So at least I know who to blame

I think one of our problems is that we have a teeny house. Moving more furniture into rooms with doors isn't an option. And I will not sell my books, darn it!!

Such wonderful ideas tho ladies. Seriously! Keep 'em coming!

[colsxjack]

Although our DD will play with her toys, she also is like your son and into everything and wanting everything she cannot have.

What we have done:
- put some of our books in boxes and the rest on shelves too high for DD. At the same time we have a small two shelf bookcase that we put a bunch of board books on. We let her rip these down and throw them around as much as she likes. We just quickly reshelf them a few times a day and let her go at it again

- in our kitchen we put some stuff in cupboards and baskets and within reach that are kitchen things but also that we do not mind her touching. All the wooden spoons, laddles, spatulas, dish clothes, ziplock bags, cloth shopping bags, pot lids, metal and plastic storage containers, etc. All of these things are within her reach and we just let her go at it and then quickly toss and stuff things back where they belong when she's done.

- we play with her toys and she watches us, cheers, chases the car across the floor and then picks it up and slams it down, etc. Just recently she actually started rolling a car back and forth along the floor.

- we have an old TV converter that we took the batteries out of and we let her play with that. Although, it doesn't seem to be working as well anymore.

- leave one basket of laundry that isnt that hard to refold out for her to flip around the living room. Towels are good. Fun for her and easy to refold in a zip.

- i build towers with her blocks and let her rip them apart one by one. She loves this. She doesn't even try to put them together, but she will hand me blocks to help me build the tower again.

- I need to get an old wallet and put some cards and stuff in it because one of her favourite activities is ripping and flinging all the things out of my wallet one by one. So far I just been putting it up high. But everytime she see's it she wants it and is hard to distract.

Good Luck.

[crunchy_mommy]

Oh man I just wrote you a long reply & lost it.

Anyway my 18mo DS is just like yours!!

The things that seemed to work best --

-Minimal childproofing -- we don't have cabinet locks, but we did move any knives, good dishes, etc. to the upper cabinets... we got rid of anything that seemed especially dangerous... we don't have any really valuable possessions but if we did we'd put them away in the attic or a separate off-limits room. Basically he has free access to the main part of the house (except the bathroom) and we've made sure everything is relatively safe. Things like laundry etc. put away once it's folded or lock it into the bedroom until you have time to put away.

-Incorporate him into all our chores etc. so he learns the 'proper' ways to use things. So he knows which bins are for recycling/compost/trash, he can help empty the dishwasher, puts his clothes in the laundry, wipes up his own spills, puts his own dishes in the sink (with help, he's short!), feed the pets without making a mess, etc. I found from 10-16 months or so was really tough but now he's getting the hang of using things more appropriately & I feel like putting up with disaster for 6 months or so really paid off.

-In his toy box are old cell phones, a computer mouse, etc. He is also allowed to play with my keys or my phone with supervision (since I don't want them lost!) I basically just let him play with everything & if there's something I don't want him touching I store it out of his reach. He also gets time on the computer (big concession for me, we limit screen time but allowing him his own time on the computer helped a lot)...

-We got rid of most of the cheap plastic toys we had gotten on freecycle & replaced them with some nice wooden toys I found at the thrift store etc., Based on him playing more with the one or two wooden toys he had previously I thought it might work... Sure enough, he'll play with this toy on his own for 5-10 minutes which is HUGE, miraculous for us lol: http://www.amazon.com/Melissa-and-Do...ce_t_ai_-1_t_1

He also likes this:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Wooden-Shape...N%3DB0015RP2WI

And we have something on this idea that he loves (supervision only due to choking-hazard magnet!):
http://www.smartstart-toys.co.uk/pro...roducts_id=262

This was the toy that keyed me in to him preferring wooden puzzle-type toys:
http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=...w=1537&bih=704

And we have a bunch of puzzles etc.

I had written a whole bunch more but I have to get off the computer... hope that helps a bit!