the car seat dilemma

[kwoodchuck]

Yep, the classic...my 2 yr old often refuses to get in her car seat. I hate to forcer her, but sometimes that's all there is to do. I've tried everything I can think of, explaining where we're going (fun places), telling her the fun things she can do in the car seat (eat, books, toys), just waiting a while... today she wanted to get out and play in a parking lot...that's all that was there...not a place to play and wait!

I've had success using games such as "I need to get the tangle bugs out of your hair" for brushing hair, and and same thing with brushing teeth. I wish there was something similar for this!

Any creative, playful ideas for this one?

Thanks!

[Wild Lupine]

Here's what has worked for us:

1) Do you want to be a bird, plane, or helicopter, then I fly her into her seat by her chosen method.

2) Big tasty cookies, given to her once her harness is snapped up. Yeah it's a bribe, but it gets us where we're going safely.

[titania8]

I like the cookie bribe! Might have to adopt that one!

Other ideas that have helped us at various times:

-"listen for the click! Ready, here it comes!" And then when you get in make a big deal about listening for the click of your belt too.

-before you get in state your expectation. "ok, I'll help you into your seat and fasten the buckles."

-"let's see how fast we can do this! Can we get done before the ABC song is done?" start singing right away.

-distraction by talking. Just talk fast about anything and nothing, just keep talking, enthusiastically.

-start over. If there is a big struggle about getting in, get her out, set her down and then start over. "oh my, let's try again."

Good luck, and I'm sure you know, but it won't last forever. Soon it will be some other challenge!

[Minxie]

Along the lines of the "listen for the click", I counted each buckle as I buckled them on his five-point harness.

[MommaKitten21]

Originally Posted by titania8

-start over. If there is a big struggle about getting in, get her out, set her down and then start over. "oh my, let's try again."

Oh man! I need to adapt this one! I am going to make an effort to use this tomorrow! Thanks!

[boheime]

Love the "try again" technique.

I just posted 10 tips for toddler carseat woes.

[ChetMC]

Will She Choose

If you frame it the right way, will she do it on her own? If I tell our two year old to do anything he refuses. Everything has to be his clever decision.

I can't say "put on your shoes". I need to ask if he wants to go to the playground. He says yes, and then I have to ask what we need to go to the playground. When he says shoes, I have to ask who will wear the shoes, then I suggest that he wear them on his hands, and so on, and so on. Eventually, he asks me to put his shoes on his feet.

Would the same kind of thing work with her carseat? What would she do if you sat in the carseat and suggested that she drive the car? At that age, our kids have been slaves to the natural order of things. They love to correct DH and I when we get it "wrong".

[Thing1Thing2]

Same problem here. I have had to force him into his car seat at times and it's not a good feeling. Yes, I have tried the bribes and the only thing that really works is dried mangoes. He will do anything for a dried mango! Ice cream didn't even work... and he loves ice cream!

Also, right now hes getting his 2 year molars in and the car seat issue has become worse. I can totally understand. If I had teeth breaking through my gums, I wouldn't want to be strapped into a car seat for who knows how long either.

I don't believe in bribery, but there are some things that are worth it.

[dachshund mom]

You could try putting a CD on to a song she likes and turning on the a/c before starting the carseat process.

[Llyra]

My favorite way is to keep a stash of interesting things in the pocket at the back of the seat. I pull a few out just as we're getting in, and ask the child which one (s)he wants. Once a choice has been made (or if the child chooses all of the choices), I set it/them down out of reach but in sight, and say, "this is the one you want? okay, let's just get you buckled in, and then I'll get it for you." It helps a lot if the stuff in the pocket changes regularly, and is stuff you don't normally have around the house. Toys work, and books, but so do packaged snacks and "adult" objects like old cell phones with no batteries, or kitchen timers. One of my kids had a big fascination with glasses for awhile, so I kept a pair of real eyeglasses with the glass removed.

That said-- if the child is still fighting the seat, after I've tried everything in my repertoire, and I really do have to get going, I don't hesitate to say, "sorry, buddy, but we have to go, and you have to be buckled," and go ahead and hold the child down. It sucks. But car safety has to be non-negotiable.

It gets easier. By three, all of mine could understand the reason for the seat, at least on some level. And they start getting better able to hold two ideas in their head at once, and to "get" that riding in the car means going to interesting places. Once we arrived at that point, they mostly stopped fighting me so much.

[kwoodchuck]

THANK YOU everyone! There are some great ideas here! Of course since I posted this I haven't had the problem... haha! But, these should be good for various situations.

Thanks again!

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by ChetMC

Would the same kind of thing work with her carseat? What would she do if you sat in the carseat and suggested that she drive the car? At that age, our kids have been slaves to the natural order of things. They love to correct DH and I when we get it "wrong".

Don't try this with a younger kid though. DD just climbed right into the front seat to get at the steering wheel.