Feedback on budget, reality, and possible new apartment

[simplemama32]

A little background first...I'm currently going through a divorce, and DS and I have been living with my parents, going on 5 months now, while my son's father remains in our house. While my parents are wonderful, it's been pretty difficult to move back in after being on my own for well over a decade...and it's kind of a tight fit because my grandmother also lives with them. I'd *really* prefer for DS and I to have our own space, so I've been looking online for apartments in our area. Not being serious about it at all...thinking it would make much more sense to wait until the divorce was final, etc.

But now I just got back from looking at an apartment (really, more of a townhome) that would be SO great. It's about 10 minutes from my parent's house and far enough out in the country to be peaceful and provide DS with green space to roam (how often do you find that with apartments??!), but it's also close (less than 10 minutes) to the local university and town where I work. The owners cater to responsible young professionals and graduate-student types. The apartment itself has good natural light, plenty of room, great storage. Can you tell I'm a little excited?

The bad thing is that while the apt. is affordable if it was my only housing cost, I'm also helping my soon-to-be-ex pay for our current mortgage until our property sells (and who knows when that may be). I could pay my part of the mortgage ($400) out of my savings for the next year...is it totally crazy to consider that? Or would it be worthwhile in order to have our own place?

Here's my budget:

.....................................

Whew...after typing all of this out, I think I've about talked myself out of the apartment!! But what do you think?

[VisionaryMom]

I agree that it's tight, but we survived on a similar budget, as far as disposal income goes, for about 2 years.

Here are the questions I'd consider:

What is the likelihood your house will sell given the climate where you are?

Is there equity in the house, and if so, will that be split evenly between you & your husband?

Are there any assets to split?

How static is your income? You mention you're at a uni, so are you a student/resident/in some other position that will lead to higher pay in the future?

Oh, and in our state, you would qualify for significant daycare subsidies with your income.

[smokeylo]

I would assume you need MORE money and see what resources are out there (like daycare help) before writing off the apt completely. See what else you could do to bring your income up or costs down and see how you feel about the apt then. As it stands it seems like it might be a reach for you financially... we pay $700/mo and make more than you but it's still a tough time of month for us when that big chunk of change goes out the window. If you want to move out, what can you do to make it happen? GOOD LUCK, I'd want to move too!

[simplemama32]

Thank you!

I don't think there's much hope for increasing my income. I'm staff at the university, and we've been hit with extreme budget cuts over the past year. We haven't received a raise in probably 2-3 years, and most vacant positions are remaining unfilled to save $$$, and the ones that are being filled would give me an equal salary, or less than what I make now. I'm actually in the best department (IMO) on campus due to the annual bonus and family-friendly atmosphere, so I'd really hate to leave anyway.

I think I've talked myself out of the apartment...I doubt the "prettiness factor" would mean much when we're eating rice and beans in order to pay for it. :-( I'm in a decent place with my savings and current bills, and if I just sit tight with my parents for a few more months, I could save a good bit more. Hopefully, the house will sell within the next year, and STBX and I will split the equity. It probably won't be much, but it should be enough to help with a down payment on a house for DS and I. A little house of our own with a backyard is worth waiting for, I think. Or that's what I keep telling myself when I start daydreaming about all that storage space in the apartment!

[doubledutch]

while you are paying $400 per month toward the mortgage for your property that he is using, while you live with your parents, what is he providing in terms of child support? nothing? what about child care expenses? your child's medical expenses?

eta: i know that will all be sorted out in court eventually, but for now, i must say that i think it makes sense for you to stop paying the mortgage - or to pay it in theory, but your obligation toward the mortgage gets washed out by his obligation to support his child. does that make sense?

[simplemama32]

Yeah, that does make sense, and it just dawned on me last night (duh!) that I was paying $400/mo towards the mortgage (plus phone bill and electricity) and the (eventual) child support pmt. from him would probably be about $400, so one kinda cancels the other out.

Nope, no child support or other child-related expenses paid by him yet, other than whatever is spent on DS when they are together (and that's probably $0, except for a take-out meal and diapers now and then). He's mentioned a time or two that I just need to ask if I need financial help with anything...but of course I can't see myself doing that unless I'm really strained. I've been paying "my share" of the bills because he was unemployed until recently, and I was trying to be fair and nice.

[doubledutch]

sounds like it's time to be "fair and nice" to yourself.

[simplemama32]

Good grief, you always get straight to the point, don't you? ;-) I envy that quality, and I'm starting to agree with your statement.

[doubledutch]

i only have that ability with other people. not in my own jacked up relationship, lol! stbx is living in our family home while the kids and i stay elsewhere, and i'm paying all the bills.