I'm Ready For Another Child, But Partner Unsure

[KeiraLou2008]

Hey all.

To cut a long story short, my partner and I had our first baby in Sept 2008. I don't think either of us were ready for a child as we were both only 20 years old, and it has taken up to this point to be truly happy with every aspect of our lives now. We have a beautiful daughter who we both cherish dearly, a lovely house and are still going very strong in our relationship.

We have spoke about having more children, my partner defiantly doesn't mind having at least one more as we both would like a boy too. But I feel ready now, whereas he has said he doesn't.

I know I am only 22 years old and my daughter isn't even 2 years old yet, but I really do feel ready. He has said to start thinking about TTC next year, but I am so impatient and am itching to have another child by next year, not trying too have one. I get this fear he is just going to turn around and say "lets wait another year".

Sometimes when I say to him that I am ready, he jokes that he is too (mainly by saying "lets make babies" in his male way!), but then when having a serious talk he says he is just not ready.

All I think about is having another child, but I know I'm not going to get anywhere at the moment. Has anyone else ever felt this way? Anyone got advice on what to do??

[mommyin2008]

Oh yes! Im totally right there now. Our son is 2.5 years old. Im 28 years old and my hubby will be 32 next month, and while we are still young, we are not quite as young as you and your partner. I am ready now, and its so hard to wait and be patient. it is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. My husband knows completely how I feel. He really would rather not have anymore though. but he is seriously considering it. He keeps saying"maybe in a year". but i told him I dont want to wait another year. I told him I want to get pregnant when DS is 3, which is in 6 more months. Im trying to compromise but I dont think hes going to budge much. I am going to try and give him more time. I dont really have any helpful advice for you, except that I totally know how you feel. It is even harder for me because I have a few friends I work with who are prenant right now....like 3.5 months, and another very closer friend of both my and my hubby, is like 11 weeks now, from a pull out failure I guess. It was hard to swallow that news from her b/c we have been using pull out as well for over 2 years and no surprises here. To say I was jealous is an understatement. In addition, I work with newborns and pregnant women, Im a nurse on an OB unit, so its not easy. Another friend of mine is going to start Trying for her 2nd this month,[her first is only 1.5 years old]. It is very hard to deal with all these other people trying to have babies, when I cant even get my DH to committ to a time frame.

Anyway, I guess the only thing you can do it wait and try and be patient. I know its easier said than done.
HUGS!!!

[jess152]

It's not easy to sway someone from a decision as big as 'waiting to TTC', but you could pose the situation this way: we could TTC, starting today, but what if we don't get pregnant for 18 months? It doesn't happen instantly for most people, I think the average time is a year. Maybe that would make it seem not so impending!

I've got an 8 month old and already see his babyhood fading...We had discussed only having two, but now I'm getting that itch again. He's not going to be happy when I bring it up, but I feel like I'm not done. I'll be 37 next month, so I don't want to wait much longer. Guess I'll find a good time and spring it on him! :/