I want to move

[wish]

I want oh so badly to move. Move back home, closer to family and friends (across the country). Our trouble is money. Maybe I need more of a reality check? Dh does want to move eventually but says we need to pay off more debt first. I come from more a mindset, that we will have this debt with us for quite some time, so why not just take it with us? Ugh. I don't know is it really that hard and a bad financial decision, or do people do this all the time?

[philomom]

Moves are very draining financially. A cross country move costs my family 18k. Add to that the expense of setting up a new home the way you like it and there's more. Your dh is probably right to sit tight for now.

You can start doing your research on "back home". What will cost to own a home there? Will said home be in a good school district if you want to use it?

[Vaske]

A creativity book I read a long time ago suggested using the tension/dissonance between what currently exists and what you want to create as a motivating force to propel yourself toward the desired result. You could use your desire to move to motivate yourself to pay off the debt as quickly as possible, and to build up a savings cushion for the move. Every dollar you can throw at the debt now will be one dollar plus interest that you don't have to pay later. Holding onto the debt will limit your options.

Ultimately, though, it depends on what your income is likely to be after the move. Moving closer to friends and family usually means taking a lower income job, which is why I think you should pay it down first.

[VisionaryMom]

How long will you have the debt?

We have moved about 700 miles twice, and it hasn't cost us anywhere near the 18K a pp mentioned. We did everything we could ourselves (packing, driving the moving van, etc.), and we moved for closer to $1500.

I would not stay somewhere I wasn't happy for years on end just because of debt, but if you're going to be paid off in, say, 1-2 years, then I'd probably stay.

[ChetMC]

Agree

Originally Posted by VisionaryMom

How long will you have the debt?

We have moved about 700 miles twice, and it hasn't cost us anywhere near the 18K a pp mentioned. We did everything we could ourselves (packing, driving the moving van, etc.), and we moved for closer to $1500.

I would not stay somewhere I wasn't happy for years on end just because of debt, but if you're going to be paid off in, say, 1-2 years, then I'd probably stay.

We recently moved ourselves. I think it cost about $2500. We're a family of six though, and we don't own a car so we had to rent a minivan, and I don't drive so we paid for my parents to come and drive the van, and DH had to make two trips with a U-Haul.

A move can certainly cost $18K. We've had corporate moves provided by DH's work, and the value of the relocation package was way more than 18K.

I agree. If you can pay off the debt in a year or so I'd suck it up. I would not stay five years in a place that hated though.

[bobandjess99]

I guess i would ask how truly okay with the proposed move your dh is? Not that I am against paying off debt, but I guess I am concerned like maybe it's just an excuse? IT's been my experience that when people want something bad enough, they will try and move "hell or high water" to get it. Especially guys. Now, that isn't to say you'll jump right in and move tomorrow...but it means that the "goal" becomes paramount, and you have a solidified plan to achieve the goal, and time, energy, money, etc are all focused on the goal. A "wish" or "want" has no planning behind it, a "goal" does.
Is your dh as unhappy where you are as you are? What about it is making you unhappy? Does anything about it make you happy? What about dh? Any happiness for him? What would the true costs of moving be? What are the downfalls of moving, are there jobs there, is the COL similar? Outside of family, are the areas different in terms of culture, "feel", climate, attitudes, etc? MAybe dh likes your current location?

I guess I just feel like if I truly, honestly needed something, if I were deperately unhappy because of something, I know my dh would be supportive and help me and we would figure out a way to get me what I needed. And I woudl do the same for him. And, in fact, I have supported him through a job change which had extreme financial repercussions on our family, because it needed to happen for him. That is what happily married people who love and respect each other do..right?