Experts--I need your thoughts

[GranoLLLy-girl]

What is the best way to go in a divorce--contested or not?
I live in Virginia.
My stbx was playing nice and wanted me to have this and that and was being pretty generous and then as time went along...he started all of this kind of crap about not wanting to help me financially in any way.

So here are some issues--we rolled (mostly my) student loans into our mortgage when we refinanced our home and that took out a lot of our equity.
Now he is claiming that he shouldn't have to pay me a dime in spousal support because of this.

This is the reason I think I might have to go to a contested divorce. We live in a very expensive tourist town near the coast in Virginia...and I've looked around at rent costs. I'm going to literally need to live in a cardboard box and claim homeless status in order to keep my kids in their school...the reason would be because he is required to pay me a certain amount by law in Va for child support but I make less than half of what he makes and now he's getting ugly.

Is it worth fighting over OR do the lawyers walk away rich and I look for a good carboard box?
Help me to understand.

[Minxie]

The student loans and mortgage don't have anything to do with alimony or spousal support. I would discuss this with your attorney to find out the laws in your state.

[hillymum]

If you do not have an attorney go get one now! Do what you can to pay the retainer and your attorney will petition the judge to get your sbx to pay all fees. You need an attorney to fight for you. There might be a way to do this without an attorney but if your sbx is being an ass then you shouldn't do this alone.

[Super~Single~Mama]

About the school, I'm pretty sure educational costs are separate from child support (ask a lawyer in your state about the specifics of this), so he would likely have to pay half of the school cost in addition to child support.

Also, I don't know about VA, but I think in NY divorce and distribution of assets are different - the type of divorce doesn't mean that distribution is easy/hard - they are totally separate proceedings. This is why you need to be consulting a lawyer ASAP.

[vannienicole]

property support/separation is separate from spousal/child support. I hope you are looking for a good lawyer.

[GranoLLLy-girl]

Thanks so much for information/advice. I have a lawyer...but it is hard to get information from him. I don't have anything in writing yet. Still working on it.