What's to give someone who's ill

[anomaly13]

our across the street neighbor's, who are also our landlords, 20-something daughter has cancer. they found out several weeks ago and we found out last week. she had her first surgery this past monday. she does not live at home anymore but is recovering there from what I can tell, lots of visitors and her friends spending time over there. we aren't super close, we don't go to eachother's parties or events. dh said we need to take them some food, actually already should have. I was thinking flowers since she is stuck indoors, he said maybe a plant but food is best because even if she won't/can't eat her family and visitors will. is it too late?, does that sound bad I mean she has cancer and will be dealing with it for awhile. what should I bring, a meal, sweet bread, cookies, casarole, cheese/meat tray? is it better to make rather then buy it?

[serenbat]

I wouldn't bring food now.

Since you don't know her, I just wouldn't do it--she may not be able to enjoy, it may also be looked upon as it does when there is a funeral and may just make her sad----I personally would wait--- I would give HER flowers/plant BUT I would make a meal for when the parents are just there--they will need/ want the food---I'm sure a lot of friends and family are bring food now but I see more of a need after everyone leaves and the "family" (landlord) is just there and doesn't feel like cooking (dealing with all the drama)-IMO

as with a new baby, a death, etc, I tend to wait---give it down the road, having to deal with too much can be a real pain and they don't need that stress on top of what they are dealing with already--I like it when things die down and the real impact hit and you don't feel like cooking

[mamaof5boys]

After my DH passed away we were inundated with food- so much that a lot was given away or tossed. Flowers/plants were nice, but it was just one more thing to have to take care of. I agree with the PP that it is nice to wait until everyone leaves and they will be able to use it. I know you don't know them very well, but the biggest help for me was help with the day to day things. Several of my neighbors mowed our lawn without even asking, offering to do laundry, grocery shopping, etc... It's very humbling to have to ask for help, but if you can think of something that you could just offer to do- that is often the most help. Blessings!

[serenbat]

Flowers/plants were nice, but it was just one more thing to have to take care of.

to some this is OK, I did have a grandmother that HATED it---she was so dead set against flowers especially when someone died, she refused to have any flowers at her funeral, she hated that they died and I can see why some would think of it as one MORE thing to deal with at this time

good there were people to DO the junk work stuff---for some again, mowing the grass can be a break for others it would be a blessing to do for them

I would also offer to do shopping or drive them so they could have a break away and someone other to talk with--just a thought

[Cascadian]

Freezer meals....like a lasagna or something in freezer containers, in serving portions. My BIL has cancer as well, and my ILs are living with him. Food is always appreciated - fresh organic fruit and berries, meals, homemade anything.

As well, a gift card for the daughter to netflix or itunes so she can download movies or music might be nice, and you don't have to give a lot. I know that BIL is bored out of his mind, and in pain, and welcomes distraction that doesn't involve constantly talking to his elderly parents.

[mamaof5boys]

Yes on the gift cards!!! We got tons of gift cards- from all different venues. Even the generic Visa gift cards were great to buy groceries or whatever. I still have cards left over from a year ago we had so many.