First overnight with Dad

[tnmom66]

My daughter-almost 22 months, has never been away from me for more than 8 hours or so, never overnight. She is a light sleeper and nurses through the night.

Her Dad wants to start having her overnight. I think she isn't ready. I am willing to give it a try--I may be surprised. They have a nice relationship. I am about 1/2 hour away if there are problems, and of course, I'll be glad to pick her up a 1 a.m. if she needs me. I don't want her to be traumatized in any way.

anybody else have this experience?

[Super~Single~Mama]

The first night is hard, but definitely be willing to try it. Also, I would caution you to let her dad deal with it until HE needs your help. Do they have lots of visitation already? Your dd might already know that she can't nurse when she's with dad, and it might not be an issue. Thats how it went with my son (who was 11 months at his first overnight away from me), and even though his first night away was hard, after that it was much easier.

[victoriasmommy86]

my DD isn't ready for overnights with her dad but she did spend the night at Nana's recently.

She thought I went home but I slept at the other end of the house in the guest bedroom after explaining that Nana doesn't have milk. I fully expected to her her howling for milk at 1am or so.

She was fine, Nana said she moaned "milk milk" once at 2 am, but Nana gave her a sippy of water and said you can have milk in the am from Mommy"

If you are close enough to pick her up I wouldn't worry too much.
If she does cry for a few mins she might settle down and if not Dad will call. and at 22 months she is able to understand Dad saying "moms on her way to milk you" and then, "ok lets go outside and wait she's on her way" so that perhaps she probably woudn't be hysterically crying for your transit time.

[aricha]

My husband had his daughter overnight at a much younger age, while she was still nursing, and it was not a problem at all. In fact, he went from visiting mom and baby at mom's house to having baby on his own the whole weekend (two-three overnights) without any issues. At 18 months she came to live with us 50% of the time. At 22 months she went on vacation with us for 2 weeks away from mom. There was no trauma to her at any stage in the process.

[tnmom66]

All these comments are encouraging. I expect things to be fine. Thanks. If there is a problem, we'll just try again later.

[Super~Single~Mama]

I think you're attitude about it can also affect the way it goes for your dd, ie, if you act excited for her before she goes and talk about how much fun an overnight with dad will be its more likely to be successful. Maybe not, but its worth talking to her about how this visit will be different, and dad is going to put her to bed and then make her a good breakfast in the morning (you could even tell him her fave if he doesn't know it and it can be a special treat or something to look forward to if the night goes well). I always act super excited during exchanges too and say in a really happy voice, "You get to go to Daddy's house! For the whole weekend!! You're going to have so much fun at the beach, and the park! I love you, bye bye!!"

I never say that I'll miss him before he leaves, I only tell him I missed him when he gets back. I don't ever want to send any negativity with him so I keep exchanges super positive.