10yo stayes up till midnight...

[mich]

And it is really putting a cramp in my "alone time" (you know what I mean?) with dh. Ds knows all about the birds and the bees. But it freaks me out to have him walking around the house, past my bedroom door to the bathroom, while I am being intimate with my husband. Ds has even knocked on my door asking if I am ok because he heard a strange noise.

Last night I stayed up until 12:45 trying to wait him out, but sure enough as soon as I turned out my light he was walking around, at my door, saying good night (for the 10th time).

I'm sure others have gone through this? Do I just need to adjust? Get used to the lack of privacy? Buy a new house with a master suite far away from the kids rooms???

[whatsnextmom]

How about a bedtime? In the summer, I let my kids stay up later than usual but they still have a bedtime. If he's struggling to fall asleep prior to 10 in the summer, get him active and wear him out. Start waking him earlier in the morning. Get his body in a rythym where he is waking early, physically using his body throughout the day and thus tired in the evening and going to bed a reasonable hour.

[kathymuggle]

My 14 yr old stays up later than me and has for about 2 years. My 11 yr old does not - she gets tired and puts herself to bed. I sometimes suggest it if she stays up too late - she gets grouchy, lol!

When my son first started staying up late, I did miss alone time - but I got over it in about 3 months. I now do not mind it at all - even like the alone time I get with him in the evenings.

The reason I am Ok with his late bedtime is he is totally self suffecient. He does not ask me to make him food, or demand my attention, etc. My 7 yr old has a bedtime because I need her to go to bed - she is demanding in the way most 7 year olds are- and I feel "on" in her prescence. She needs to go to bed so I can totally relax. With older children that is not always the issue.

I would make it clear to your DS (if you choose to allow him to stay up) that the hours after 9:00 are quiet/adult time for you - he is on his own for snacks, etc.

If you choose to go the bedtime route (which is still appropriate with a 10 yr old) you could allow him to stay up as late as he wants in his room - reading or playing a hand held video game, etc.

As per sex, well it is going to happen (hopefully ). Get a lock for the door and let him know he is not to bother you in bed unless it is an emergency. If he hears things - oh, well. Not the end of the world. Try to be quieter if you are the noisy sort - but that is it. Sex in the morning while kids are sleeping is also fun.

[mich]

Thanks for your thoughts. The boys do have a bedtime, usually between 9:30 and 10pm. For a long time I noticed my oldest would just lie in the dark until 11 or 11:30. We then decided to let him read in bed at night. Right away he started reading until around midnight every night. He was always the child that did not need a lot of sleep. I am a night owl myself and can understand. I do make sure to get him out of bed by 9am, the same time I get up.

We do have a lock, and at one time had a talk about if the door is shut at bedtime, then we would like privacy. If just feel awkward to me. I am having growing pains!